Monday
Mar152010
I'm Looking Over My Wrecked Up Clover
March 15, 2010 Saint Patrick's day is this week, and to celebrate, Wreckerators are clearly getting into the Irish spirit. (And by "spirit," I mean "Guinness.")
(Because by the end of this post, you'll have no IDEA what one looks like.)First up, "Oscar Lends a Hand:"
Ouch."Wasted Windmills:"
The care. The precision.
The...triangle thingies.
I don't usually call out specific bakery chains, but c'mon, Target. Really?[Seth: Really?]
[Amy: Really! Really?]
[Seth: I mean, Reeeeally.]
"Something Vaguely Obscene on Something Vaguely Hat-Like:"
Never mind, Target. All is forgiven."The Right Hook:"
Why do they always curve to the right? "The Sham...WOW":
You following this, camera guy?Yeah, me neither.
"The Thing I'm Told is a Shamrock But I'm Not Buying It:"
And from the looks of things, neither is anyone else.Maia G., Meg K., Lori B., Carrie M., Misty B., Trisha D., & Alex, I want you to know that my little Guinness joke does NOT mean I think Irish people are all alcoholics, and I would hate to have any of you lovely Irish readers think that. Especially considering your hair-trigger tempers and all.
- Related Wreckage: Rockin' Shams
UPDATE: Today I learned that there is a difference between clovers and shamrocks. As I understand it from your comments, clovers can have either 3 or 4 leaves, but shamrocks can only have three Epcots. [nodding seriously] Good to know, good to know.
Reader Comments (143)
I think that last one is supposed to be a daffodil.
But even then, it's pathetic.
I love your Blog and now read it every day with both of my daughters. Your wit is hilarious and we truly enjoy reading what you come up with. It would be great if alot of other readers would leave well enough alone, stop trying to prove how "smart" they are and just let you be funny. Keep up the awesome work, there is more positivety behind you than negative. =)
OMG, we got that Target "shamrock" cupcake cake at work today! It was slightly better looking than the picture you have, but not much.
If you look at the add on Target's site and hit the details button, they have a box at the bottom of the window that shows a description of the item in question. It seems this CCC *patooie* is "Prepared in our store by our talented decorators." Hmmmmmmm...
I blushed.... great post!
Jen -
Thank you for posting a photo of a four-leaf clover. All good Catholics know, however, that when one celebrates St. Patrick's Day in the traditional sense, the image should have six leaves. Three leaves represent the Trinity. Double that with a few pints of Guinness and you get six. I'm sure if you had ever been to Epcot, you would already know this.
@ Michele:
"...It seems this CCC *patooie* is "Prepared in our store by our talented decorators.""
*******
That's all well and good, but that isn't telling us what they are being prepared FOR, now IS it?
Prepared for whatever may come? Prepared for burial? Prepared for combat?
I'm just suggesting that it's a very open-ended statement, all (ugly) things considered....
That last one is um, yeah, wow..
Anyone besides me seeing wrangled Kermit hands?
A couple of those look like something out of one of the early "D&D" Monster Manuals...
Every one of my baking genes is offended!
No...I take that back - Every one of my cookery genes is offended!
And there's no point allowing my Irish genes to speak publicly, as my comment would have to be banned.
As for my hatred of broccoli genes....
WV: ammater. Ha! Too easy!
Have you guys seen this shamrock cupcake at instructables.com?
(it says cookies, but it's cupcakes)
http://www.instructables.com/id/Make_Shamrock_Cookies_from_Standard_Pans/
The last one looks like a deranged dreidel.
Wow, and that was Target's model cc cake used in their ad! That's pretty bad.
Could that last one be some terrible interpretation of an Irish flag?
@ Tyler:
Re: that last *cake*.
You could be on to something there! (Or, just "ON something". )The flag colors are sort of...there.
Try this: stand on your head and look at it.
(Makes a great party game!)
What I see is a sort of a sad, stringless, fretless,and not very attractive guitar with one hugeass aneurysm.
And no price sticker, or even a "Free to Good Home" sign.
If I don't leave right now, I'm going to cry!
So many complaints about shamrocks vs. clovers... Actually if the leaflets are heart-shaped, it is not clover at all, but wood-sorrel (genus Oxalis). Clovers (genus Trifolium, in a totally different family) have round leaflets. And the flowers of those two plants are completely different.
The last one looks like a clover that got ran over by a car, and then a baseball rolled on to it, and a tractor rolled over it and smashed it. And then some teenager spit his orangey red gum out a car window, and it got squished too. Then a drunk (on Guinness) wreckorator crossed the street, and said "dude, that would sell".
Number five (the Right Hook) is probably the only circumcised Maltese Cross I've ever seen.
Wow that last cake I mean really.. what the heck is it? That is the worst shamrock ever. Or maybe it's supposed to be a psychedelic one since I have a feeling someone was on something to have made that thing lol. As for the rest of them words can't even express the horror of them all.
I never knew shamrocks or clovers could be phallic. Guess I learn something new every day....
It's Kermit giving "jazz hands!"
Kim in ID
Shamrocks have three leaves "4 leaved(leafed?) clovers" have....4. The funny thing is, what most people consider to be clover is actually wood sorrel. Wood sorrel has heart shaped leaves, while clover has oval shaped leaves. :D
I am so NOT surprised that Target showcased that horrible CCC. I actually was kind of intrigued by them the first times I saw them, but I think I sent you two pictures, Jen, of our horrible CCC creations from target. One was a guitar that looked like a shovel, and the other was Elmo with goiter.
wv: jurreari Those of you who feel like lecturing about shamrock-vs-clover after the first few posts should be kicked in jurrearis. :)
If that last one is a daffodil, why is it wearing an eyepatch and yodeling? or is this an homage to The Scream? (now we know the true source of despair...)
First time commenter. and i love the REALLY?! part! Keep up the great blog!
irish flag? like that idea for sure. and i guess i'm now a creep and a four-leaf clover
If you turn your head just right and squint, the last one could almost be a geographically inaccurate map of Northern Ireland...
(I refuse to believe that thing is supposed to be a shamrock).
I was at the grocery store yesterday and saw 2 Wrecks that made me regret not having my camera. The first was a frosting white-out job. I'd never seen one in person before yesterday; they're really ugly! Then, I saw a frosted brownie that said "Happy Birthday Gray." I'm guessing it was supposed to say "Gary," and it wasn't with the rest of the birthday cakes.
hahahahahahaahhahahahah!
Really, I had no idea you could wreck a shamrock (or clover) so badly. Leave it to me to underestimate wreckerators.
I swear that "Right Hook" cake looks like the Blue Oyster Cult logo. http://z.about.com/d/classicrock/1/0/n/K/boc_boc.jpg
Cushlamacree! These monstrosities definitely put the "sham" in shamrock -- or shamMOCK, if you prefer.
When I saw that last one, I thought it was a mangled pair of old socks on a broccoli-flavored Otter Pop!
Erin go Bre-e-e-e-ch!
wv: larla
Toora loora larla, hush now don't you cry!
Guinness, as a beer, isn't a spirit. Spirits are distilled, beer is fermented. A spirit the Irish might have would be whiskey.
How one person can screw up a clover OR a shamrock is beyond me!
Is the NBC peacock green because it was stuffed in with the other St. Patty's Day wreckage?
LOL - As I former Target Bakery employee, I had to laugh at your call out. The sad thing, I've met the people at corporate who think they were SO creative in their St. Pat's designs. Sad. So very, very sad.
Have me laughing to tears! Thanks for the post!
Awww, don't feel too bad, Jen. Shamrock used to just be an anglicised version of the Irish work for clover-seamrog.
I so love the SNL reference, I mean REALLY!
Jen - If you have only ever seen Oxalis (what usually passes for shamrocks in North America) you might actually be delighted by a real shamrock - the leaves are tiny (the whole composite leaf is about as big around as a nickel, on a healthy plant), and the delicate pink flowers are so spring-like and pretty :)
What the hell were these people on? It was like they were told to bake/decorate blindfolded.
Thanks for compiling these and your narrative. Too effin' funny.
INSTRUCTIONS FOR BAKERY
Shamrock cupcake cakes are really quite easy. Take THREE cupcakes and put them together. Draw a little stem with frosting.
Repeat this until you have as many Shamrocks as will feed a party of people. Do not let the Shamrocks touch each other (again, THREE cupcakes in a shamrock, no more).
Otherwise...well, see this post.
LOL! Shamwow! A moldy mushroom with a boil and a mess up on a TARGET CATALOG! TARGET! OMGLOLROFL!