To Be Read By Rod Serling
March 10, 2010 Deedeedeedeeedeedeedeedee
You unlock this bakery with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension.
A dimension of icing.
A dimension of piping bags.
A dimension of wreckitude.
You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of bad taste and even worse skill. You just crossed over into...
BUM BUM BAAAAAHHHH...
Picture, if you will... a monkey. This monkey:
I know, creepy right? [shivering] Brrrrrr. Totally.[resuming serious announcer voice] Ahem. Now picture, if you will, five ravenous-yet-dim-witted Shih Tzu dogs:
[sternly] Let's call them Muffy, Boopsie, Precious, Buttercup and Mr. Snuggles.Now picture, if you will, a face of terror that watches in malignant silence far beyond your present capacity to understand. A face enigmatically bizarre in terms of time and space. A face...
...of a tweety bird.
"What up, playah?"This is the stuff of fantasy, the thread of imagination, the ingredients... of the Twilight Zone.
BUM BUM BAAAAAHHHHH... SQUEEDLEDEEEE!!!
Jennifer P., Matt N., Christine S., and Melanie L., picture, if you will... a dolphin eating a Snickers bar in flip-flops and a cardigan. Then tell me what that looks like. I've always wondered.
- Related Wreckage: A Cake Wrecks Salute
Note: A couple of people suggested the pictures should be in black and white which was an awesome idea. So we changed them. I think it adds to the ambiance, don't you? For those who really want to see the full color versions, click here.
UPDATE! LeAnna and Woobie took up the dolphin challenge and sent in their ideas.
AWESOME! Check out the flip flop thongs on his flippers.And next we have Woobie's
See, the snickers bar is wearing the cardigan and flip flops because I apparently have no grasp of sentence structure. ?thought Who would have
Touché!
One more!
This one's from Vanilla Smoke. Awesome!
Reader Comments (168)
What? No Chesterfield advertisement at the end?
The set up to this post was beautiful. Rod Serling is made of win.
Impeccable commentary today, John! I laughed for five minutes about zombie meerkats raising the roof.
And to the naysayers, imho that monkey cake falls well within the slopes of the Uncanny Valley. Creepy indeed.
So... all of the pictures that I pulled up, when I followed the link from FB today, came up in black and white on the cake wrecks page... Is this happening to anyone else? Color is so importing when viewing these glorious samples of stupidity!
Actually, the correct "words" to the Twilight Zone theme are, "Doo, doo, doo, doo,doo, doo, doo, doo"....oh wait, that just opens the door to more pooh stories....hhmmm.... never mind! :-)
I could hear Rod Serling's voice in my head so clearly that salad nearly came out of my nose when Rod said the names "Muffy, Boopsie, Precious, Buttercup and Mr. Snuggles".
I probably won't sleep tonight now. Thanks.
Absolutely love the Twilight Zone commentary & the b&w photos, too fab!
Tweety & the monkey frightens me. The Meerkats are creepy, did they gut something or someone? I'd feel safer with the Lord of the Flies cake that was up a few months ago.
@ Naomi -
"Note: A couple of people suggested the pictures should be in black and white which was an awesome idea. So we changed them. I think it adds to the ambiance, don't you?"
The B&W change is brilliant, but now you REALLY can't tell what Tweety is supposed to be. The color was the only good clue on that one.
Squeedle DEEEE!! <-- Love that, btw!
Those meerkats ARE scary, and then I literally LOL'd at the "what up playa"
I regret to admit that I haven't been paying as much attention to this blog as I used to but I've just discovered how much I really miss it and the good laugh I get from each one. So I'm back! lol
This was a great one....cake twilight zone....zombie meerkats, creepy shih tzus with adorable names :). Now, let's see what else I've missed....
I can hear Rod Serling, good job y'all.
The monkey is a little creepy, probably because he looks so smug. Tweety though will probably haunt my dreams.
I have nothing but love for the meerkats. I want that cake for my birthday. Raise the roof, playa!
The roof! The roof! The roof is on fire! We don't need no water...because we're meerkats.
that. was. hilarious.
Can't imagine that dolphin will enjoy the snickers bar after picking the chocolately little sweater and flip flops out of his teeth.... That's one way of getting more fiber into his dolphin diet, though.
It's probably a good thing the shih-tzus look deranged. Otherwise, I'd feel guilty eating something cute.
Black & white homage to Mr. Serling. Brilliant!
OMG!!! "Now picture, if you will, Meerkat Zombies...raising the roof." Love love LOVE!!!! Thank you SO much for making my day! LOVE IT!!!
"...a dolphin eating a Snickers bar in flip-flops and a cardigan."
Is the Snickers bar in flip-flops and a cardigan or is the dolphin? :)
(Sorry if someone else already wondered this. I can't see all of the comments.)
"a face of terror that watches in malignant silence"
you rock
Brilliant, simply brilliant. A very funny way to end the day. :)
Meercats in color for those that asked:
http://tinyurl.com/y9ru7dc
What's wrong with the monkey head cake?!?!
It's a HEAD on a PLATE for crying out loud! That alone is enough to qualify as a wreck...never mind that mocking facial expression.
LOVED it! Especially the sound effects! :-) You're a genius!
and then we drop 13 stories
We need Bill Mumy to "wish these cakes into the cornfield."
Please turn the pictures back to colour! Black and White just isn't wrecky enough!
i love all of this times a billion....!!!!!
but i must say the monkey was actually alright.....now the tweety bird on the other hand......errrrrrrrrrrrr......ummmmmmmmm.....welllllll..........eshhhhhhhhhh.....ahhhhhhhhh........
Haha! Love the meerkat zombies. I totally heard "What up playa?" in my head as Barney Stinson.
Awesome post! Wreckage + Twilight Zone = Genius. Black and White is definitely a good touch.
I love the meerkat zombies
Your narration was spot on awesome. Serling would be proud.
That Tweety cake reminded me of the Jekyll and Hyde short where Sylvester dreamt that Tweety kept mutating into a cat-eating monster.
I doubt that was the intent of the cake.
Wow. Just wow. That "tweety bird" is seriously grossing me out. The steam on the window is just too much. *gag*
Here, I've put both interpretations of the sentence in (not very careful) semantic notation for the convenience of your readers who understand semantic notation but not drawings. Yeah!
[S[NP Jennifer P., Matt N., Christine S., and Melanie L.][VP [V picture[S[NP a dolphin [VP [V eating [NP a Snickers bar][PP [P in [NP flip-flops
[CONJ and [NP a cardigan]]]]]
[S[NP Jennifer P., Matt N., Christine S., and Melanie L.][VP picture][S[NP a dolphin [VP eating [NP a Snickers bar]][PP in [NP flip-flops [CONJ and [NP a cardigan]]]]]]
SYNTACTIC oh how embarrassing
"Demon Tweety" is MY fave.
B&W has ambiance, but it would be nice if we could also see the colour versions, as sometimes the best detail is in the colour. How about links to them?
Ok seriously that tweety bird if you can still call it that looks like someone dropped it repeatedly on the floor and just hoped people would still buy it.. is rooting for the zombie meerkats to take over that bakers nightmares.. lol
The Meerkat Zombies look like they are surrounded by poo.
Bree said...
We need Billy Mumy to "wish these cakes into the cornfield."
OMG - so true! Perfect comment! Thanks, Bree! ROFL!
LOVE the black and white!
The monkey looks great in it! Very twilight zone with that creepy face
O.K., so is it just me or does Tweety in black and white look like Voldemort to anyone else? Either way, SUPER creepy.
The snickers bar wearing a cardigan and flip-flops had me laughing so hard, I cried. Gotta love the grammar police!
I thought the Shih Tzus were pretty darn cute for cupcakes! :)
The monkey is totally creepy & weird.
For the monkey cake, who wants the eyes?! I'll leave them whole on the plate for you, just don't make us watch you eat one.
you used the wrong accent...
You made me laugh! It was all very funny, as always. But, I LOVED the ending with the Snickers wearing flip-flops and a sweater. I laughed so hard my kids became concerned and came in to check on me. Funny stuff. Thanks :))
That monkey totally freaked me out!!
Well, you know what they say. Shih-zu happens. (Why didn't YOU think of that?)
*shudder*
Oh, the Tweety Bird is creeeepy.
Also, as a French major, I just have to point out that the accent is actually like this: Touché
Sorry, I'm done being nitpicky now, I promise. Please don't ban me from the site for eternity.
Love the dolphins!
Inspired commentary today :)
OMG, this must be the BEST post you've done Jon...I was LOL-ing like crazy...Loved the Yoda talk at the end too!! AWESOME!!