No Offense
October 8, 2010 Since our posts here on CW invariably manage to offend someone - carrot lovers, grammar Nazis, Canadians - we've decided that *today's* commentary won't be offensive to anyone. Literally. In fact, it's going to be SO inoffensive that I'm trying not to fall asleep as I type thikjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
Huh? What? Where am I? Oh, yeah, non-offensive.
I forgot to mention that I'll be randomly choosing cakes from our archives, so there's really no telling what cakes we'll end up with. Rest assured that the commentary will be completely inoffensive, though. Promise.
Okay, here goes. Our first cake is #4,312:
"Hey-o! Are those supposed to be balloons, or, like, what?"Huh, this inoffensive stuff is easy! Nothing to it.
Okay, next we have cake #245...
Hm. Inoffensive. Okay. "Boy, oh boy! What a fine, upstanding reputable bird that is! I salute pay respect to the baker who came up with imagined this design! That's not a peacock, is it?"
Alright, so this is kind of hard difficult. I'm sure I'll do better on the next one, though.
Cake #8,062:
[biting lip] Uh. Hang on.[looks up e-mail]
Well, according to Stetson here, this is actually a bakery display in Colombia. [drumming fingers] Hm. Oh! I know: "Hey, was this decorated by gorillas or something?"
Yeah, I think I'm hitting my stride again. No *way* I'm going to offend anyone with that.
Next!
Cake #4,207:
[crickets chirping]#793:
OH COME ON!!Really?!?
Okay, last one. [Shaking digital dice] C'mon, inoffensive!
Cake #2,093:
I give up.Denise, Lisa M., Stetson J., Brindy W., Karin D., & Megan C., if you're still reading this, thanks. I think.
Reader Comments (163)
HA HA HA HA!!!! You're cracking me up!
*Snicker*
Ah, Jen, you've made my day yet again! Thanks for all of your hard, um, I mean "dedicated" work!
I really like when they mix military warfare with butter and sugar. Viva la revolution!
Hmm, well I suppose the last one could be ghosts or something...
I love this blog.
LTR, FTR. Your blog is beyond a doubt one of the funniest out there. It always makes me laugh and I have never been offended by anything. Today, though, you actually had me pounding on the table and howling with laughter.
Superb.
Don't you mean "guerillas"? Fighting gorillas though would be much cooler
Excellent. What non-cooperative dice you must have. :)
Oh, boy. Prepare to get blasted by people who find some of this post offensive.
I found it funny and shocking at times. Seriously - a swastika cake?
Keep up the good work.
I am offended at the lack of offensive content in this post!
Nah....cakewrecks.com rules.
Wow. Those last three are just... wow. And is there something wrong with me that I could just stare at the "turkey" cake and snicker all day?
Please tell me that last one is ghosts. Please!!!!!
Ahahaha, your post got me spilling coffee. Thanks for the morning laugh! XD
Argyle on a cake! Fantastic!
(You are such good sports.)
I always feel sorry for the cake decorator...
Can you imagine someone coming in and order a swastika cake? Or a drunk baby? The decorator has to be thinking, "Hmmmmmm... Uphold my morals or pay the rent?"
As a decorator myself, I've had some customers come up with some half-cocked, I mean cockamanie, I mean RIDICULOUS ideas especially for bridal showers.
Sometimes you just have to say no.
@Anonymous -
Yes, http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IggDBj_gMTg/SdWeL7I1UpI/AAAAAAAAA8o/FoCGasjS1k4/s400/gorillafight.jpg" rel="nofollow"> fighting gorillas *are* much cooler, but STILL not as cool as a http://www.pinkcakebox.com/images/cake811.jpg" rel="nofollow">Fighting Gorilla Cake!
That's it. I'm offended. Well, offended that I laughed so hard I hurt my cheeks.
Oh, this made me chuckle! As a new follower I'm deeply impressed by your self control and ninja diplomacy skills xD
I want to rearrange the pics so the badass baby is raised by the Klan cupcakes and becomes a Nazi cake decorator, then has a nervous breakdown (represented by the abstract balloons cake,) joins the Colombian militia and grows into an upstanding guerrilla who enjoys the occasional big brown (pea)cock on his days off.
It's a movie waiting to happen!
As soon as I quit laughing, I might be able to figure out if I'm offended or not.
I'm not going to search for pictures to check this while I'm at work, but isn't the swastika the wrong way round?
If so, is is subtle subversion of the customer's order or inadvertent wreck?
Reminds me of a t-shirt I saw once - a t-shirt guaranteed to offend someone. Nuke the Gay Baby Whales for Jesus. Yep, you read it right. Not that I'm approving of it, but the inclusiveness provides a lot of humor...
Were those cupcakes served at the annual "White No-Iron Percale Formal" perchance?
That. Was. Awesome.
You lost your not-being-offensive-ness with "grammar nazi" ha.
I can't believe someone would have that second to last cake!?!
Is that swastika backwards? I think it is.** Does that mean they don't really mean the hatred?
Keep up the stellar comedy Jen!
**I'm a history major, not a klan member. That's the only way I know what it's supposed to look like. :)
Okay, useless trivia time! So the funny thing with the swastika cake is that if it really was meant to be a swastika they wrecked it... cause the way it's placed is actually the symbol for Buddhism, very peaceful and loving and not at all offensive. I guess the question is... what part of the world did that cake originate from?
Which makes it more funny!
Love the blog!
With so much in-offensive material in one post it's a wonder you didn't strain something.
I hope you're at least taking a nap after that!
I am a gorilla and I am offended you don't think we can decorate cakes well.
If I could find an attorney to represent jungle mammals I would sue you. As I am not interested in violent backlash, you will not be finding a pack of cheetahs waiting in your shower, either.
awh, you included the turkey for the Canadians because it's our Thanksgiving this weekend!! Thanks!
A pumpkin patch?
A very proud male turkey and exploded frogs?
Don't know what to say about the baby with beer and a gun, except that may be how he was conceived?
That Nazi cake is so sad. Maybe it has a file in it and was made for an inmate?
I know Halloween is coming, but those ghostly cupcakes should probably be sold as Kluxcakes.
Ok everyone, settle down, we don't want our beloved CW to become flaccid, urrr um boring... yeah, boring. Today's post was a win for the fantastic duo that is Jen and John!
There are no words. There is only more vodka.
The first one has to be a pumpkin patch.. Right??
I am choosing to believe that the baby with the beer bottles and a gun was a groom's cake...for a 4th of July wedding..for a Scottish-American groom..
I mean men are all babies, right? Oh, sorry, that was probably offensive.
I particularly enjoy that the KKKupkakes are chocolate.
Wow. Quotes make everything better.
Multicolored "balloons".
A "turkey".
No comment on the Columbia cake...
"Baby" drinking "beer".
It's a "Buddhist" Symbol.
Those are "ghosts".
See, now nothing can be seen as "offensive".
Anyone who is offended probably needs to be. Nuf Said.
True hilarity for a Friday! :)
Possibly my favorite post ever.
Hey! "Hm" is spelled with two 'm's or don't you know that? It's "hmm"! I'm offended now! Gr! I mean, grr! Off I go in a hufff. I mean, huff.
In defense...that's not a Nazi Swastika.
There are a ton of swatika's, most are not evil. =)
Actually Margaret/Kelly/Chy, the swastika and sauvastika are both common symbols in Eastern religions in general, not just Buddhism. The swastika is pretty commonly used in association with Kuan Yin, the Goddess of Mercy and a reincarnation of the boddhisattva of compassion.
From a Nazi sympathizer POV, yeah, it would be a wreck, since the "left-facing" form is the sauvastika.
However, the symbols themselves have basically the same meaning in Eastern religions, and are swapped (left or right facing) more for balance issues than meaning issues. (Religion-dependent, of course - in Hinduism it's two different aspects of Vishnu, while in Buddhism it's a tantric representation of the universal mantra AUM, and so forth.)
...you learn these things fast when you're a pale blonde Buddhist. ;-)
I love it and the heck with those that have no sense of humor, we don't need'em! And I would like to apologize for the Canadians with no sense of haha it's usually one of our better traits. Keep up the good work!
bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you made my day and it's only 11:00 in the morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hilarious stuff :D
Dear Jen,
I love you. Never, never change. I don't know where I'd get my daily laugh otherwise.
Krazy Klan Kupcakes! (Or maybe ghosts of the Coneheads? )
Hey Kelly Hills! Thanks for the clarification on the swastika symbol, or whatever it is.
I am kinda wondering though, if it's not supposed to be a nazi symbol, why is it in a white circle on a red background?
Hola,
The Nazi cake, and it is a Nazi cake, was made for the cast of Cabaret.
Yupperdoodles.
john
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
This is anonymous because I'm too lazy to "Choose an identity"!
Hey I'm Canadian and I found this post hilarious! I'm sorry some of my fellow citizens are so sensitive. Lighten up fellow Canucks!
Extra hilarous this morning! I thank you, my coffee-covered keyboard.. not so much!
Honestly, I saw nothing wrong with the ghosts until reading these comments.