Reality Bit
July 28, 2009 NOTE: This post was written several days ago, and was not intended to be a commentary on any breaking news events. My sincere apologies to any who may find it offensive.
Cake artists, can we talk? I feel like we need to have a little heart-to-heart.
Ok, here's the deal: I know that you guys are talented - I do! - and I get that you like to showcase your talent with the cakes you make.
The only problem is, when you make something like this:
Photo removed at baker's request
Not to mention it's depressing; could that look any more funereal?
Look at it from the cake consumer's perspective: would you want to slice into a sleeping baby?
"I call butt!"
Or worse, have a toddler's eyeball staring up at you from your plate?
Yeah, I didn't think so.
So cake sculptors, please, stop making us choose between cake deprivation and feeling like a cannibal. If you must make a baby cake, make it nice and cartoony - preferably with no basis in reality whatsoever.
You know, like this:
Three arms, a gravity defying diaper, and crazy sunglasses? Yep, I'd eat that.
Update: Tons of you are saying that's a butt crack, not an arm. (The rest claim it's Epcot.) I can almost see that, but I still think it looks more like an arm. ;)
- Related Wreckage: You Say Goodbye, and I Say Hello
Reader Comments (296)
After looking and looking and feeling very odd for looking some more...I think it's his butt cheek not an arm.
But it's still horrible....
and I almost threw up when I saw the first one...it's really funeral-ish. I don't know how someone could stand back and say awwwww so cute...it's more like awww so sad
I think you're confusing this so-called "baby's" butt-crack with a third arm - look again! Those two little midget appendages are the arms, the other thing is descending down into the diaper.....
hey there,
have been enjoying and laughing myself to tears reading cakewrecks each morning ... but have never commented.
love the cakewrecks and especially your commentary. v. funny stuff! and congrats on your recent funny blog award!
i agree, the first cake is v. morbid, like a dead baby (albeit lovely and sweet) lying in a casket. i'll pass on eating that one.
thanks for the daily laughs! keep up the great work.
terry lee
Sadly, he only has two arms - the other one is his right butt cheek.
I thought it was a 3rd arm too!!
Upon further inspection I think its SUPPOSED to be the baby's butt.
But, i still see 3 arms and its much funnier that way!!
perhaps there is some latent agression being expressed in the ultra realistic cakes, because i don't think anyone could feel *good* about eating a baby.
i love this site forever,
tangeria
I feel that the 3rd arm in question is actually the definition of it's bottom. The angle is strange and makes it appear to have 3 arms...
If that's a third arm, then where do you see the second arm? I can't spot any other left arms.
I think the line on the back is supposed to be his little baby butt, hanging out of the diaper. But yeah, three arms sounds more fun.
Nah, it's not three arms. The baby (and I use the term loosely) has its back to us. That's his/her... um... split? The baby is standing facing away and is turned back towards us, embarassed at the... erm... bare @ss. Voila. (It's still fugly, though.)
Carmiehead
That's not a third arm. What you think is the baby's left arm is actually its back and a butt cheek, I'm pretty sure!
I can't see the third arm on the cartoon baby cake... is my wreckdar broken?
I guess I'm one of those people that isn't grossed out by cakes that look like humans. In fact, it would be even better if the cake was red velvet! Pass me the left ear!
And that baby has quite an enormous backside. Maybe the kid's destined to be a future plumber??
I'm pretty sure the "third arm" is supposed to be a butt crack ala the Coppertone baby.
Took me a solid five minutes of examining, but I am proud to say that third arm on the right is really bum crack. What a relief. The bum's position even [almost]begins to explain the "gravity defying diaper" appearance.
Morbo doesn't like babies. They give him gas.
At first I was like, why is that baby's hand down in his diaper. Then I realized that was supposed to be his bum...
Oh.
Not nearly as good of a story...
I do believe that 3rd arm may in fact be a poorly-conceived attempt at bottom crackage.
Mmm, I'd dare say that's no 3rd arm sprouting from the cool fella's chest, but his back and what comes below... oh yeah!
Btw, I'd like to see a naked mohawk baby riding a carrot sculpted in cake for a baby shower, now that WOULD rock (any baker out there willing to try?? Pleeeeeeeeease =D)
I can only see two arms! I feel left out!
Am I missing something? I don't see a third arm. I see one pointing to the mouth, one in the middle, and a butt crack. So the baby is twisted to the side so you can see it's backside. Did I miss the 3rd?
I hope I'm not the 83,039,483,754th person to point this out (since the comments come out in bunches and none appear yet), but that's not 3 arms. That's 2 arms and a butt. A butt sticking out above the diaper. The baby is looking back over his left shoulder. We are seeing the back of the baby's legs. The perspective is making me a little seasick.
Also, is that kiwi and hard-boiled eggs up in the corner?
LOL, love the chinese cake!!
The top cake really does look like a funeral.
So disturbing.
These cakes are always disturbing, but they are especially so after the news from Texas yesterday. (Sorry, but it's all I can think about.)
I'll admit that the decorators are good at what they do, BUT, there's no way I'd eat ANY of those cakes. Just too creepy.
As for the last cake. I believe he's only got two arms and what looks to be an arm in his diaper is actually his butt. LOL It took me a minute to figure it out, but with no depth or shadows it's hard to tell.
It'd be worse if they were all red velvet cakes.
Where are there 3 arms?
The first two are WAAAAAY too realistic. I couldn't possibly eat those cakes.
I think what you think is a third arm is in fact a butt-cheek. -Kristina
with the "3 arm baby" - i think its his butt crack....just my guess...
How could you pass up that arm stuffed into the back of the diaper? Do you REALLY want to eat that??
Ok, I have to ask....where are you seeing 3 arms in the last pic? One in the mouth, one by the safety pin, one....??? Isn't the back part a weird side view of the butt crack? This is driving me crazy!! I don't see ARM #3!!
Hallie :)
I think the "arm" on the right is the baby's right buttock (baby is looking over its left shoulder). It still makes the legs disproportionate and the diaper more oddly held up.
oh my .. that third arms KILLS ME!
Looking at the last one, I think it's supposed to be looking back over its shoulder, so the 2 things on the (reader's) left, well the left and center, are arms and there is supposed to be a bare bum peeking out of the diaper. But it does look more like a shoulder and arm!
I don't see a third arm... is it just me? I do see a strangly located arm. I'll give ya that. And the sunglasses without arms, well, those are fun. :')
ummm, I don't see a third arm--I think he's just turned at a weird angle so you can see 'crack' above the daiper- Jennifer
I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be a buttcrack... It just isn't centered with the legs.
i think that cartoon baby has 2 arms and a bizarre bum....
Wait, three arms? I think I see two arms and a misaligned... butt crack.
I think that what you are seeing as the baby's leftmost arm is actually his, umm... crack. He's kind of twisted around, mooning us.
In order:
Aaaaauuuugggghh! It’s the “Baby Lenin” cake!
Because when I think “cake,” I think “naked baby butt”!
Disembodied bug-eyed baby head will float in your nightmares foreeevvvveeeeerrrrrr!!!
“Veeerrrrryyy interesting! But shtoopid!”
^..^
That's not a third arm! The right-most "arm" is part of his little bottom. He's got plumber's butt!!
I feel like the second cake is going to produce one of those swirly little brown cakes any minute.
WV: firmatin = the medicine you'll need after viewing these cakes.
Oh, heavens. I think that last baby is actually supposed to be turned sideways and what LOOKS to be an arm over on the right is actually his butt crack... like that makes it any better... Maybe I prefer 3 arms to butt crack cake. BLERGH. %(
i THINK what looks to be the "baby"'s left arm with its hand rummaging through its diaper for buried treasure is *supposed* to be asscrackage. i think. i could be wrong. and i kinda hope i am, because now i totally want mutant baby cake.
His left arm is no arm at all. It's a butt crack! Which makes it even worse in my book.
I think the one line is supposed to be his butt? weird. I like the idea of three arms better.
I think the arm to the far right is in fact his tushie. Which of course means that he is, in fact, an owl. Pass the forks, please.
Come on now, the "third arm" on the far right is really the baby's butt crack. Anyone can see that. Mmmm. Pass me a fork.