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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jul282009

Reality Bit

NOTE: This post was written several days ago, and was not intended to be a commentary on any breaking news events. My sincere apologies to any who may find it offensive.

Cake artists, can we talk? I feel like we need to have a little heart-to-heart.

Ok, here's the deal: I know that you guys are talented - I do! - and I get that you like to showcase your talent with the cakes you make.

The only problem is, when you make something like this:

Photo removed at baker's request

 

Well, no one wants to eat it.


Not to mention it's depressing; could that look any more funereal?

 

Look at it from the cake consumer's perspective: would you want to slice into a sleeping baby?

 

"I call butt!"

 

 

Or worse, have a toddler's eyeball staring up at you from your plate?

 

Yeah, I didn't think so.

So cake sculptors, please, stop making us choose between cake deprivation and feeling like a cannibal. If you must make a baby cake, make it nice and cartoony - preferably with no basis in reality whatsoever.

You know, like this:

 

Three arms, a gravity defying diaper, and crazy sunglasses? Yep, I'd eat that.

 

 

Heather S., Steven K., Michelle G., & Liz J., does that kid really have a 3rd arm sprouting from his chest? Why...I think he does. Pass the milk!

 

Update: Tons of you are saying that's a butt crack, not an arm. (The rest claim it's Epcot.) I can almost see that, but I still think it looks more like an arm. ;)

- Related Wreckage: You Say Goodbye, and I Say Hello

 

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Reader Comments (296)

Funereal is right! I was thinking, "Is that baby dead?" and "WHY would you make a cake celebrating a baby's death?"

That last cake? The lack of proportion! It boggles the mind.

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarji

You have to kind of squint to see that the baby with three arms really only has two arms and an exposed butt crack. And the pose, turning over your shoulder with one finger in your mouth is a little...odd to see an infant in.

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFroneAmy

I see two arms, and a perspective-defying butt on that last one. Perhaps the decorator was channeling Picasso?

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWilhelmina

i dont think its a third arm- i think its a butt crack coming out of the falling down diaper like the coppertone kid.

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTanis

Anyone else seeing the Burger Kind as a child in the third cake?

Creepy even then.

-Kate

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate

the first cake reminds me of a sad Six Feet Under Episode

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMella

Jen, please don't have a Spaceship Earth freak out over the "three armed baby" comments. Okay? Okay.

Now...the first cake is gorgeous! But I would be mortified if that showed up at my baby shower (I assume it is a baby shower cake). I'm with you, cutesy fake babies or I'm not eating.

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

Thay third cake is even funnier now. It's like an optical illusion test..."DO you see an arm or a butt crack?"

Like those optical illusions that ask "Do you see an old hag or a pretty young girl?" or "Do you see a vase or a Silhouette."

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaurie Green

Another reason not to have a baby shower cake :)

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzyhomemaker

I feel like I'm missing out on all of the fun unless I type the words "butt crack".

Hrm. That wasn't as satisfying as I thought it'd be.

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLouie

Wow. Baby with Plumber's Crack. Who knew it could start so early?

I think this cake is meant to address the nature vs nurture debate, and is clearly saying that plumber's crack is genetic. Quite a controversial stand, I must say.

I want to see their studies to back it up!

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterc3

Sorta like an Escher baby isn't it? Is his head turned backwards or his back turned frontwards?

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterReam O Rama

He only has two arms- what you think is an arm is actually the babies bum. It does kinda look strange. I had to look hard to figure it out. love your blog by the way.

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLena

Why in the world do these bakers think we want to eat butt crack?

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBlondie

Wow...at first glance I just thought these were weird. But then I re-read it (as I always do, for extra giggles), and I caught the mention of the word "cannibalistic," and I got the connection to that horrific news out of Texas. **shudder**

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmma9405

I just want to say that those are creepy cakes, and I totally agree that the first one looks very funeralistic.

and I'd like to add, since only about 55 other posters already have, that the third arm is a butt cheek.

We get it folks.

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter:::b r a n d i:::

Is it just me, or does that first cake look like it belongs more at a funeral than a baby shower?

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

I think the first cake would be less funereal if the baby's arms were up above it's head instead of at it's side. Then it would look more like the baby was just sleeping.

And the last one is definitely not 3 arms. At first glance, I saw a baby looking over it's shoulder with it's diaper falling off it's bum. After reading the comments, and looking at the picture again, I can see where you would think the baby was looking head-on and had 3 arms, though.

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'll have pie!

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterS3XinthePantry

eating babies is wrong, no matter what. even in cake form.

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDangGina

Wow, all media should really have a sad baby warning on it, when appropriate. As someone who has buried a baby just the age of the one in the first cake, it sucks to have it jump out at you. That's a hard left on the emotional roller coaster when you're not expecting it.

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterI Love Baby Quilts!

It took me a while to work it out, but what looks like its left arm tucked into its diaper is actually its butt crack. Take another look: Its supposed to be looking back at you over its shoulder with the diaper partially pulled down...OMG THAT'S EVEN WORSE!!!!! That will haunt my dreams forever...what has been seen cannot be unseen.....

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFiona

totally creeptastic. I feel like saying, "can I have some umbilical cord?"

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

I totally saw 3 arms right away, creepy. After looking closer I can tell what the cake artist was going for, but sure didn't execute it well.

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

If I were playing the "that's not a third arm, it's a butt crack" drinking game while reading these comments, I'd be thoroughly drunk by now.

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTonya

Haha... that third arm is a butt crack! Too funny. Great post!

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

This is turning into the Spaceship Earth fiasco all over again lol.

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRawr

I know that you removed your post about horse cakes when it was posted right after the polo horse deaths, so I thought I might point this out. I love your blog, and I know you didn't do this on purpose, but some might find it distasteful. (This story is not for the faint of heart)

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/5920714/Mother-decapitated-newborn-and-ate-his-brain-Texas-police-say.html

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDanielle Alberti

I live near San Antonio and was surprised at the irony of your post after the horrific story about the mother here...I can't even bring myself to say what she did.

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaria Claudia

What news out of Texas? Could y'all link to the post? And while you're at it make the page not silver-on-blue so it is readable?

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My four year old's reaction to the naked sleeping baby cake: She baked her baby into a cake! Her baby's dead!

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristina

Having read all the comments (every...single...one...), I am moved to say "Spaceship Earth! Spaceship Earth!"

However, the soundtrack in my head sounds suspiciously like the B-52's...

"Butt crack! Bebeh butt CRACK!/ Butt Crack! Bebeh butt CRACK!"/
"The buutt-crack/is a little ol' place where/two cheeks come togetherrrrr/Butt crack bay-beeee"
"BUTT CRACK BABY!" "Butt-craa-a-ack!/That's where it's at!/Butt-cra-a-ack!/That's where it's at!"

I shall resist, albeit grudgingly, the temptation to go on.

wv: emonib--what REAL old-school Goths use to write their angsty poetry. "The Hot Topic kids can HAVE their ballpoint pens; TRUE vampires write with emonibs."

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGladys

(1) I really don't see a third arm.... I'm not sure what I'm missing.

(2) I'm sooooooo glad someone finally said it! I've been looking at all the Baby shower cakes that are babies and mommies and thinking, of the good ones, they're pretty, and realisitic sure, but, but, I can't EAT that! Sometimes too real is a problem. Honestly, it's rather disturbing! Thank you for proving I'm not the only one thinking it! :)

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa Hazelton

Thanks for adding the note about the news events as of late. As someone who lives a few miles from where this took place, it's been horrific to watch it on tv nonstop then catch the article online when looking to laugh for a few. Then again, I have a morbid sense of humor and figured, "of course coincidence would bring a post like this after such a horrible thing; that's how it always happens."

Love your site!!

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermandy

Gladys - you're my HERO!!! LMAO! Of course, I'll curse you in a few hours after having that in my head! :D

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDea

(I don't intend for this comment to be posted, just wanted to put in my two cents.)

I saw the post about the cakes and have always been vaguely creeped out by the baby cakes, but that's because they're kind of creepy.

Then I saw the tweet about the backlash to the post and couldn't imagine why. THEN I saw the disclaimer on the post and after a little bit of digging I found the story about the woman in Texas.

THESE ARE CAKES MADE IN THE SHAPE OF BABIES. That's it. There are weird/sick/disgusting people out there and terrible tragedies happen every day. You can link ANYTHING, even an innocent birthday cake, to a tragedy if you try hard enough. This is CLEARLY not a post condoning/making fun of/or even commenting on (except now, for the disclaimer) the woman in Texas or her actions.

There will also always be people who overreact or see everything as something about them. These people should not have too much attention paid to them. Pandering to them makes even MORE crazies come out, and even MORE people get offended when you don't listen to THEIR gripes and complaints.

I wouldn't pull the post, I wouldn't even have commented on it. If you try to please everyone you end up pleasing no one. Keep up the good work with your blog and if someone wants to link a cake to a sick woman they are going to do so with or without your blog. If someone is going to be horrified because they had a baby that died, and how dare you put up a post about babies on cakes without warning them, they're going to do that anyway.

I've learned that if you stay out of these people's way that's much better for everyone. Commenting and debating and removing posts just adds fuel to their fire.

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkate

Okay, it took me a while, but I saw the third arm!! It's like one of those Magic Eye books.

Jen, don't worry - you're right that it's obviously a third arm - if you look at the baby's thighs first you can conclude the butt is not a butt because the thighs stick out more and SHOULD NOT.

Now we have to figure out why the baby is wearing his diaper sideways .... hmmmmm ....

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKamity

wow, hadn't heard the story about Texas...but those are still some wrecktastic cakes!

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDea della Luna

Well, I'm glad some of you explained the three-arm thing because when I saw that I was completely WTF????

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermaxon

In case someone hasn't already said it... *intense sarcasm ahead* I don't think that's three arms, I think it's the baby's butt crack. (Sorry, does no one even glimpse at the other comments before saying the exact same thing 300 times?)
Anyway, love your blog, whenever I get down I read old posts and laugh until I cry (happy tears) :)

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercarriedavis

considering the new from the past 24 hours about the woman in texas who cannibalized her real 3.5 week old infant, this wasn't NEARLY as funny as it should be. Ironic, yes, but funny? Well, it just stirred the nausea I felt reading about the real news.

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTana

Sorry for your loss, I Love Baby Quilts.

I looked at your blog, what you do is truly beautiful.

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNichole <3s Cake

AAAAAAHHHHHH, dead baby cake!!! The first one looks so much like a funeral it is just too creepy for words.
And the second...I know the saying 'never wake a sleeping baby' but now it needs to be changed to 'never eat a sleeping baby'

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjess

Okay, seriously people. How about reading the comments before posting the same thing like a million times?

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Kate,

I hope you don't mind that I put up your comment. It was well thought out and didn't mention butt cracks so hey.

Let me know if you want me to pull it.

john

Note to everyone: Do not make baby cakes. Ever.

(Some of those don't even look like babies...)

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAbby

Anonymous, comments are moderated before they're posted. So even though it looked like there were no comments when I posted my first comment, in fact, 8 jillion other people had already said it, but I couldn't see it yet.

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWilhelmina

It is definitely a three armed baby. I was wondering why the extra arm was dangling in between where the nipples should be.
I wonder if the vestigial appendage has bones? It appears to just dangle there--a flaccid third arm.
Those that saw a but crack are much more creative--and maybe flexible, than I am.

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn H

@ Anonymous re: News

I had no idea what news they were talking about either... I google-newsed it and was HORRIFIED.

See: http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metropolitan/6550129.html

I don't see anything macabre about this post though... The intent is pure. Cake Wrecks & People Wrecks are thankfully two different kinds of websites.

The second one screams "Butterball Baby". Definately a cannibalist's dream cake.

July 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjengersnap

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