Happy Birthday to Meeee!
May 12, 2009 It's muh birfday.
Awwww yeeeeaaah.
Now, I could celebrate by taking a cruise:
(A really really short one.)
Or go the traditional route and just get schnockered on booze sprinkles:
(After which I will apparently choke on ribbon and die. Hm. Ok, maybe not.)And yet, all of those options (particularly the last one) pale in comparison to how I'm going to celebrate my birthday. How's that, you ask? Well, allow me to tell you...in song.
Hit it, Bobby!
[cranking up Ghostbusters 2 soundtrack]
my name is Jen Yates and it's my birthday, yo!
So I'm throwin' a party, virtually speaking,
And I've got amazing news so please keep reading.
Now pack up your group, get a grip, come equipped,
Go pre-order lots of my book and then split!"
[music screeching to a halt] Of course I mean "split" in the ice-cream-eating way, not the hike-taking way - but you knew that, right?
And did you catch the big shocking news*, or were my sweet rhymes too dazzling for you? (*Granted, it's not quite as shocking for you Twits, since I inadvertently leaked it last week...) Yep, that's right: Cake Wrecks the book is now available for pre-order! Can we take a moment to savor that bit of sweet insanity?
[savoring] Mmmm. Yeah. That's the stuff.
Now, since I know how absolutely terrible you must feel over not getting me a birthday present - or even a card! You bum! - may I suggest a way to alleviate that burden? Buy yourself a gift. The gift... [cuing Hallmark music] of laughter:
(NOTE: This is NOT the final cover. Check back at 12 pm EST to vote for the cover you like best!)[announcer voice] Yes, that's right! You'll get this lovely 6x8 hardcover edition of Cake Wrecks, When Professional Cake Go Hilariously Wrong, with over 19o pages of new Wreckage, fan favorites, behind-the-scenes commentary from Jen, reader stories, cakey controversies, and much, much more, all for the low price of $12.99! What a deal!
Why pre-order today? I'll give you seven good reasons:
7. It costs a heckuva lot less than a CW t-shirt.
6. It makes me look good.
5. Buy one for all your friends, and your Christmas shopping is done.
4. You'll get the book automatically shipped to you as soon as it's released.
3. High volumes of pre-orders somehow factor in to the mysterious industry formula that lands titles on best-sellers lists. Is that a lofty goal? Sure it is. So loft with me, darlings.
2. Every single order will give me a personal warm fuzzy. And it's my birthday, so today's the best time to send me warm fuzzies.
And the number one reason to pre-order Cake Wrecks today? (drum-roll, please.)
1. The Carrot Jockeys command you!
Wrecky World Domination, here they come! ;)
You can order Cake Wrecks: When Professional Cakes Go Hilariously Wrong from Barnes & Noble, Borders, or Amazon. (And as a bonus, both Barnes & Noble and Amazon are now offering impressive discounts off the cover price.) So what are you waiting for? Do it! Do it NOW!!
Reader Comments (201)
It's my birthday too!! It's my birthday too!! That is sooo hilarious. I logged on and saw the post title and was like? "How did she KNOW???"
Happy Birthday Jen. I hope your cake is a beautiful creation and NOT a wreck. have a lovely day!
Happy Birthday! Did I spell that right? Love your blog & I bet the book will be a big hit!
I have questions:
Why would you put a shipwreck on a cake? Just what is that guy doing to that womans chest? Why is the elephant hungover before the start of the party? Is it just me or are the wrecks getting worse?
Happy birthday Jen! Congrats, Only I don't see what's wrong really with the first cruise one?
Oh, Happy Birthday Jen - and you gave us a gift! Thanks!! My vote would be for number 3 -but without the choking on the ribbon part - sprinkle drinks for everyone - on me!!
Happy Birthday and congratulations! I pre-ordered two copies (so I don't have to share with my mother).
Happy Birthday!!!!! I hope you get a LOT of pre-sales.....lol, (said as I meander my way over to Amazon)
Happy Birthday! May your cake be non-wrecky.
Am I the only one who read that last line in a Zim voice?
Happy birthday! May your day be filled with fun, laughter, and cakes that don't look anything like the ones featured here.
Happy Birthday! My birthday is coming up, and since my husband reads your blog (and has already bought me a t-shirt here), I'm pretty sure I know what my present will be. Yay!
Happy birthday!!!
it took me a minute to figure out the second one as I was taking your shoe comment literally. Why is she naked? Why aren't there any shoes? why does the shoe sales man lok like a dr? What the heck is on the table?
And as soon as all of the disparate elements came together and I realized the Shoesalesman/Doc was NOT handing her a box, but that was, in face, a censoring box and he was actually...well, we won't go into that...it all clicked together and I immediately had a "duh!" moment.
Of course! Why wouldn't I want a cake to celebrate my boob job? I'm actually surprised I can't go down to Publix to pick one up!
Happy B'Day, Jen!
Happy "Birthdays" in red.
And at Amazon you can get your awesome book for just $10.39. This is one of those perfect what-do-you-get-the-person-who-has-everything kind of gift.
hapPy, Birhtday! Or perhaps Happy Balker Satherday? Hope you have fun. I think I'm going to order a book for my parents - they'll get a kick out of it.
As for the wrecks, that first one is clearly not a cruise ship, but a shampoo tanker that has ruptured.
So, I go into a bookshop and ask for your book, which presumably isnt on the shelves yet. They promise to hold one for me when it arrives in stock. This consitutes an "order", yes? So what exactly is a "pre-order" and how does this differ from an "order"?
I've long wanted to ask someone this - unfortunately every time I go into a bookshop and make the same enquiry all I get is blank looks, shrugged shoulders and "I dunno, do I?" from the person behind the till.
Happy Birthday Jenn!
I pre-ordered your book from Amazon! (So you're welcome lol)
Can't wait til October to read it!
:o)
Happy Birthday!
Your book gives me the perfect reason to use the Amazon gift certificate that I have. Congratulations!!
P.S. Thank you for all the laughs you have given me since I found your blog. The sprinkles are on me! (I mean...not *literally* on me...)
If my carrot jockey overlords command it, then it is not my place to deny them.
Also, a very happy birthday to you :)
Happy birthday! Mine was yesterday. That means we're practically twins. LOL
that 1st one looks like my son took his toy boat out of the bath and dumped it on a cake......horrible!
Hope your bithday is way better than these cakes! I WILL get a book as soon as I find some one who will ship it to South Africa!
Hapy brithday too yoo,Jen! Thanks for all the laughs. I swear you make me laugh til I cry more often then my sister. (that would be quite a lot.)
wv asysi I would try out for softball, but I throw like asysi.
Happy Birthday Mistress of Cake Wreckery! I are mah birfday too.
Happy Birthday!! It's my husband's birthday too!
I just pre-ordered. MUST have the book, especially if 75% of the Wrecks have never been seen before!! When will it be published?
Happy Birthday! How is it that you only get one Birthday, but you give us all a Birthday EVERY day with all these hilarious wrecks?? That doesn't seem fair! ;P
Have a great day, ma'am!
Happy Birthday to you. Thanks for making every day seem like MY birthday....cuz you give me the gift of laughter on a daily basis via CakeWrecks. (and UnderNeat that, Jen). :-)
Happy Birthday!!
Happy Birthday! Hope today finds you in Margaritaville. :)
I just ordered 3 from Amazon, they will make great gifts.
Happy birthday.
I have to get one...
who am I to disobey the carrot jockey overlords?
Happy Birthday!! I will admit, I am DYING to see what your birthday cake looks like. I can't decide if I hope it's outrageously gorgeous or fantastically wrecky. Either way, have a wonderful time!
Happy Birfdae.
Thanks for bringing sunshine into my life so often. Hope all your wishes come true today & always.
Can't wait to see the book!
I just pre-ordered it on Amazon. Happy Birthday! :)
Happy birthday to you! May your cake be impeccable.
You know you're a Cake Wrecks reader when.....
you read the ad banner as "Learn How I Removed 10 Years of Sprinkles!"
wv: redlies
Happy Birthday! I am mildly appalled by the plastic surgery cake... Who comes up with this stuff???
:)
Happy Birthday Jen!!!!!!!!
I have a friend who works for a book distributer and she's already pre-ordered my copy for me! Yay, I can't wait!!!!!
happy birthday, cake lady!
Happy Birthday!
I love reading your blog it's hilarious!
Sofie
Jolly good fellow!
Feliz aniversario!
Sto lat, Jen, sto lat!
Hapy Brithday "Jen"!!
Happy birthday Jen!
I fully intend to order the book just as soon as I pay my credit card bill this month. xD After that, it's the first thing on my list of stuff to buy!
when and where will this book be available in Australia??
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday Jen!
You make my day every morning when I get into work. In fact, my boss and I laughed until we cried the day we discovered your blog...Which brings me to a question. We are planning a conference for June 11-14 for our association. Our spouse event is an "Ace of Cakes" contest that we expect to have more wrecks than aces. We even went to the dollar store and bought all kinds of plastic flotsam for the occasion.
(Sadly, we found no naked mohawk babies.)
When will your book be available? I would love to purchase one so that we can give it to the "winner" of our Ace of Cakes contest.
Michele
Epi Burfday Jen!!!
OMG, I wish I baked you something really hideous! And I promise you if I had...it would have been.
Rock on with your bad birthday cake self...
tracy
*bursts into song at the sight of cake 1* "There's got to be a morning after...." *crickets chirping*
Erm...yes, well happy birthday Jen.
Happy Birthday!
Mine isn't for another week.
Sell LOTS!
Happy Birthday Jen! May you have much fun and delicious cake on your special day!
If I can find my Barnes & Noble gift card, I'm sure I could use that towards a pre-order. If not, I'll just have to wait. Looking forward to it!
I think cake #1 started out as a ugly purple dress torso cake. Then someone sat on it. The wreckorator had a cruise cake to make, so she/he drooled some blue icing down the side, threw a ship figure ans called it a day!
It's my birthday too!! Yay!!
This is too wierd! It is my birthday, too. Lots of wonderful people born on this date. I think you should send us each a copy of your book as a birthday present. Happy Birthday Cara, Jen, Lani's husband, and me! :)
Happy Birthday, and congrats! Don't forget that your book will also be available for order from everyone's local independent bookstores, as well! :)