Return of the Belly Cake
April 20, 2009 So tell me, how long's it been since you stared at a pregnant woman's naked belly?
Wow, that long? Well, have no fear! As long as belly cakes are made, I promise to never let you forget what a pregnant woman's torso looks like. Or at least a fondant-covered version of one, anyway. Consider it my personal Cake Wrecks guarantee to you.
You're welcome.
Now, you would be forgiven for seeing a bald Ziggy doll in a bib here at first. (I know I sure did.) After all, I don't think I've ever featured a belly cake with the oh-so-authentic "belly line" before.
Speaking of which: When I first saw this cake I had no idea what that line was or why it was there, since I've never been pregnant. So I mentioned it to a then-pregnant friend. My friend was quite helpful and, despite my protests, insisted on whipping up her dress to show me the line on her own belly. Which was...unexpected. Kelly R., I have you to thank for that bit of enlightenment. So thanks. Really.
I used to think that part of the belly cake's creepiness was due to its having no head. Then Melody W. sent this in:
And I totally changed my mind.
By the way, I've never seen a belly button look quite so much like a...well... belly button before. It totally looks like a tufted pillow. Or maybe the end of a giant hot dog. [head tilt] Ok, yeah: let's stick with "pillow."
You know what these belly cakes are missing, though? No, no, besides that. Sex appeal, that's what. Totally. Tune in tomorrow for a few spicy numbers that you are sure to remember far, far into the future. Like, deathbed future, even. (I'm trying to ramp up your sense of anticipation. Is it working?)
Reader Comments (115)
In answer to your question, it was just last week that a very pregnant co-worker hoisted her shirt to show off her belly which looked almost identical to the first cake. Yee gads.
What, really? the one with the face... did she want that or was it a suprise? Id be weirded out.
And the one with the underpants... I know youve never been preggers, but uh.. those who are THAT pregnant, dont usually wear underpants like that. Do they make maternity thongs? Either way.. EWWW!!
I have only one word: YIKES!
I think that sums it up quite nicely.
Ew, ew.
Remind me to never have a baby shower.
Just in case.
Don't they know how sensitive pregnant women are? I practically cried over the fact that my baby shower cake had green trim instead of blue. Had I been greeted with any of this...it makes me shudder just thinking about it.
*shudder*
Seriously. What makes people think this is ok to do in cake? Can you imagine the sick comments as the cake is cut and served?
Just say no. Really. Body parts in cake is not ok!
Oh gross.
I'm due July 11 and nothing like this better show up at one of my showers!
Those are some scary cakes! Two facts that I think should be added here...
1) The "belly line" is technically called the linea negra (but not all women get them)
2) On the top cake "Mazal Tov" should actually bespelled "Mazel Tov"
Apparently, a belly line is a hormonal thing that eventually fades after pregnancy. If you hadn't mentioned it, I'd've assumed it was just a clumsy trickle on the cake.
Incidentally, mere minutes ago, I saw an insinuation of a very pregnant woman having sex. Somehow, that does not strike me as acceptable.
I'm certainly loath to find pregnant women sexy. It tells me they're already taken. Of course, if I were the father, I might think differently.
that is just WRONG!
Heh, I haven't thought of Ziggy in ages. What a boring comic that was.
Also, yes, I am wondering what comes next.
The one with the face is really, really....creepy...oh my, I hope she didn't know they were doing that.
:::blink:::
That.
Is.
Disturbing.
On many, many levels.
I don't understand the cute panties, either. I've never heard of a pregnant woman who was concerned with her undies except for how comfortable they were.
Those do not look comfy, and I'm not pregnant.
I have known pregnant women who totally wore underwear like that. They're not "maternity thongs" they're regular thongs. Most women can fit into regular underwear when they are pregnant, provided they don't expect the underwear to come up to their belly button, granny style. I have known pregnant woman who went out of their way to buy underwear that basically covers up the entire belly, but wearing whatever underwear you wore before pregnancy seems way cheaper and easier to me, thongs or no.
Still those cakes are deeply disturbing. Are you sure tomorrow's are worse?
And what is that...erm...coffee stain on the last belly? Yuck.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
Oh, good lord. This just reminds me, once more, why I choose not to join that club.
gross, gross, and gross. pregnant women are beautiful. belly cakes are not.
jen, i'm wondering if on cw2 you might want to blur or black-bar the face, just in case the pictured mama sees this and gets upset. i used to post photos of people doing rude things in my blog (eating unpaid for food, for example), until someone pointed out that even though I shot photos in a public place, i could be sued.
never thought that they would make a belly shaped cake. it would be very queer here in Malaysia.
the realistic details make its more ickier.
Wow, I'd be pissed if they stuck my head on a pregnant cake. (And I want kids!) That's gotta be one of the creepiest cakes. Ever.
What's worse than a belly cake is the fact that somebody has to cut into the belly with a sharp knife...ewwwww
Re: Cake #1
I have been so pregnant that nothing fit...even underwear. I just never thought of tying a bandanna down there...hmm.
Yeah because *thats* the kind of underwear pregnant women wear!
Lol, Autumn, they DO in fact make maternity thongs. I came across some at "Motherhood" back when I was pregnant. Let me just say that underwear lines were NOT my top concern while pregnant! (And thongs, that big - sick and wrong my friends, just sick and wrong)
One question: What, no stretchmarks? So long as we're keeping it real. . .
As as soon to be Baking and Pastry student, I solemnly swear to never, ever make one of these. Ever.
All Mae - I was thinking the same thing! A few airbrushed stretchmarks would be nice.
"Who wants to perform the cesaerian -- I mean, cut the cake?!"
Ew. And ew.
It's immensely disturbing to me that at the party purportedly celebrating the impending arrival of the being in the belly, the guests EAT said belly.
Ew again.
WV: vulampr - the sound of my throwing up in my mouth a little bit at the sight of those cakes.
I'm going to go with "dread" rather than "anticipation."
Speaking of babies and bellies, I'm reminded of this amusing "how to make a baby" video I just watched (yes it's work-safe): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luf6ZepNY6o
Wow, suddenly I feel sexy, with 5 weeks of pregnancy left. My stretch marks are SO much more attractive than THOSE cakes. @______@
I want to know where the stretch marks are on those pregnant belly cakes. I really think that if my relatives ever greeted me at my baby shower with a belly cake, I would have disowned them. And if it had been a friend? Well, we probably wouldn't be friends anymore. Yuck.
There's a line? I didn't know there was a line...
Well I'm surely anticipating the deathbed bit if I'm in a situation involving a belly cake :P
What Ali Mae said. Stretchmarks.
I'm thinking, red foodcolouring, or maybe they could depress strings of strawberry laces into the icing?
I feel terrible for that first pregnant woman who, so close to giving birth, obviously had her legs run over by a steam roller. What worse fate could befall a young mother...
:: looks at the second cake ::
DEAR GOD!
This is horrible!!! lol, thanks for the laugh!
Ali Mae - although you made me laugh...PLEASE do not give these wreckmakers anymore ideas - as gross as these cakes are, the idea of stretchmarks on a cake [Rand McNally Road Atlas Anyone?] made me throw up a lil' in my mouth.
bleech.
Foreshadowing - the sign of quality writing, and a sign to me to avoid this blog tomorrow. Ack!
No. No. No. NO. What is with the red pants? Nooooooo!
The only thing that could make this worse is if they made red velvet cakes. Eew!
well besides the fact that they spelled "mazel tov" wrong...
i love your blog... it gives me my daily laugh. :)
Anticipation? No, dread.
By the way, thanks, there's an ad for a stretch mark cure at the bottom of the page - complete with pictures.
As someone 22 weeks pregnant with my second child, I may just have to avoid cw tomorrow... I stare at a pg belly every day and even *I* don't want to see that!
And yes, there's a line. The line is one of many, many little details "they" don't tell you about in sex-ed. If you someday plan to have children, do yourself a favor now and just forget everything you think you know...
wv: trulnes. I'm mostly disturbed by the trulnes of it all...
why is there a bow on her nipple?
I SWEAR that when im pregnant. ( not ANYTIME soon ) but when i get a shower i will request no belly or creepy baby cakes. omg.
Not only is the theme of the cake a wreck, they a lso spell "Mazel" wrong. Oy vey!
These are absolutely disgusting as cakes. I couldn't imagine being presented with something like this at a baby shower.
One really creepy thing is that while pregnant, a woman's sex drive actually INCREASES...which scares a lot of men, because they don't want to engage in that kind of activity with their pregnant spouse for fear of damaging the baby. The baby is well protected by amniotic fluid and all that....believe me!
Maybe that's why they put the sexy thong on the one cake.
What? Belly line? WHY does pregnancy have to come with all these hidden surprises?
Someone needs to compile a list so I'm prepared when I decide to have kids.
I'd also rather not learn about these things from a cake.
Ummm, no.
What happened to pictures of nice things on a cake, like rattles and baby carriages and teddy bears? 0_o
Guess those aren't 'edgy' and 'sexy' enough. Pleh.
Those....eh, we'll go with "ew."