Nah, These Won't Traumatize the Kids at ALL
March 2, 2009 These cakes are all quite nicely done. I'm sure that will be of some comfort to the kids when they're in therapy.
Sock-hop it to me, Audrey R.!
Yes, happy birthday, girls, from Headless Flo and her Tinker-Toy Poodle Skirt of Probable Misfortune. ("Doom" was taken.)
Now, who wants ice cream?
"No, no, Patrick, the dinosaur isn't trying to eat you. He's here to party!"
See? Look at that cute little party hat! It really bring out his razor sharp teeth, don't you think, Selah?
Speaking of teeth...
This looks like the aftermath of a fairy-tale massacre, or in other words, a-DOR-able! [sing-song voice] Say, Arloe S., is that middle pig coming or going?
[announcer voice] "Hey parents, are you tired of boring, peaceful birthday parties? Want to add a little more excitement back into the one-year celebration? Then ask for the Dead Elephant special!"
[Kids yelling] "Yay! Dead elephants!"
[announcer] "That's right, kids! Yes, these delectable globs of deceased pachyderms tell the world: this party is gonna be killer!
"Side effects may include screaming, crying, thumb-sucking, sweating, itchy palms, irritable bowel, and a life-long fear of blue animals. Not recommended for children with nervous constitutions or sensitive bladders. Dead elephants are not responsible for any damages - real or imagined - done to your children. Void where prohibited, all rights reserved."
You've got a killer eye there, Andrew C.
Reader Comments (130)
I thought the elephants were drunk! HAHA They had a little too much fun at the party
At least they're blue to show that they're dead... Although making them a little more purple-y grey might have made them more realistic.
Poor kid!
Please tell me those elephants aren't solid frosting!
i think the t-rex cake is way awesome and makes me think of a cake my 12 year old brother would want.
the 3 little pigs is hilarious!
dead elephants, not so much.
Maybe the dead elephants isn't celebrating a kids birthday, but the one year being sober mark??? Or maybe the baby just realllllly hates elephants?
I loved these though!
Wow! I've been missing out! It hurts to not laugh this hard, under my breathe, at work. Well I've been under a rock for way too long...found you on the Weblog Awards page. Congrats!!
Must...eat...bad bad wolf. Wow...that one was just...wow.
My boys would love the dinosaur, although my 2 year old says it's a crocodile. They like dinos, and the scarier, the better.
I think you missed something on Headless Flo. I think even more disturbing than the fact that her head wouldn't fit on the cake is that she has ARM STUMPS! Arms would have fit on the cake, which makes the lack of them seriously creepy.
Maybe she should have added a cupcake head and made it a CCC!
And Three Little Pigs? No, it should be called "Pig Butt Cake."
At first I thought the dead elephants cake was a replica of the 'hungy hippos' board game.
Hey mom I think the Hungary Hungary Hippos died of starvation
I have to say that my 4-year-old daughter would LOVE the scary dino cake. She (and her similarly aged cousins) would have thought it was the coolest!
And they also love any large quantities of icing. Perfect for that age group.
I kind of like the dinosaur cake!!
I just don't understand the dead elephants - especially not on a first birthday cake! Maybe they're figuring the kid will be too young to be disturbed and will instead concentrate only on the cake?
I think the "dead elephants" cake might be political: were the "blue" states Republican? But I don't understand the "1" shape in that context. The elephants are cute, anyway.
Yes I think the dead elephant cake is political too. Dead Elephant is a website....wonder who the G might stand for? :)
I particularly like the X-eyes.
My 5 y.o. daughter saw the Big Bad Wolf cake and said, "Looks like he blowed too hard."
Yup, piggy segments everywhere.... Ew.
I'm not entirely sure if those dead elephants werent meant to be dead. Uh-oh!
I doubt anyone's going to read this far, but I thought I'd put in my 2 cents. :-)
I have to say, I love the dino cake. Kids love that sort of thing. When my brother was 3 or 4 (don't remember exactly), my mom asked what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday. His response was 'Dinosaurs attacking a train'. So she got a little plastic train cake topper and little plastic (not cake topper) dinos. And there was the 'dinosaurs attacking a train'. He loved it.
my soon to be 4 sister pointed at the dinosaur cake and said "i want that cake!" and i just don't understand the pig cake.
I thought those elephants were drunk.
Wreckerator #1: "Ok, I'll make it, but I have to warn you: I haven't learned how to draw heads, forearms and hands yet. Or dogs, for that matter."
The 'one year of sobriety' theory for the last makes a heckuva lot more sense -- and is much cooler -- than a carnage-themed first birthday party.
Hmmm ... Ahhh...
Um actually trying to decided what I feel 'bout these - hmmm ...
I think you might need to rethink the cakes, the kids might have nightmares- on their birthday!
;( Hop Rabbit Pleaseee
My sister and I's 15th and 16th (we'd share parties due to our birthdays' being so close together) birthday cake had a passed out pink elephant and a bottle of booze. xD Our original cake was dropped so whatever could be found at the grocery store was purchased. Did I mention that this was before Christmas?
Scary, frightening, nightmare-inducing, devilish, devastating, spooky, eerie, evil, macabre, cakes.
I want to know the back story of the dead elephants cake...I mean, what kind of cake did they request???
Hi I just want to say that who ever it is writing the comments under these cake wreck pictures....Your comments are funny and not that mean and I cry laughing,
How traumatising would it be, to be named Phillipas. I don't think the cake could add more agony.
I just noticed...is the poodle on the skirt also headless....?
As all bakers know, consistency in the icing is of utmost importance.
I "hate" you, now I have to go change my pants (forget kids with weak bladders). This is your funniest yet.
Funny enough those dead elephants were a corporate level design brought down to the bakeries a few years ago in the Meijer chain as "drunk elephants for new years cakes. I'm not sure this makes it any better in any way shape or form.