Nah, These Won't Traumatize the Kids at ALL
March 2, 2009 These cakes are all quite nicely done. I'm sure that will be of some comfort to the kids when they're in therapy.
Sock-hop it to me, Audrey R.!
Yes, happy birthday, girls, from Headless Flo and her Tinker-Toy Poodle Skirt of Probable Misfortune. ("Doom" was taken.)
Now, who wants ice cream?
"No, no, Patrick, the dinosaur isn't trying to eat you. He's here to party!"
See? Look at that cute little party hat! It really bring out his razor sharp teeth, don't you think, Selah?
Speaking of teeth...
This looks like the aftermath of a fairy-tale massacre, or in other words, a-DOR-able! [sing-song voice] Say, Arloe S., is that middle pig coming or going?
[announcer voice] "Hey parents, are you tired of boring, peaceful birthday parties? Want to add a little more excitement back into the one-year celebration? Then ask for the Dead Elephant special!"
[Kids yelling] "Yay! Dead elephants!"
[announcer] "That's right, kids! Yes, these delectable globs of deceased pachyderms tell the world: this party is gonna be killer!
"Side effects may include screaming, crying, thumb-sucking, sweating, itchy palms, irritable bowel, and a life-long fear of blue animals. Not recommended for children with nervous constitutions or sensitive bladders. Dead elephants are not responsible for any damages - real or imagined - done to your children. Void where prohibited, all rights reserved."
You've got a killer eye there, Andrew C.
Reader Comments (130)
My two year old came up while I was looking at this post and said, "Scary! Scary, Mommy, scary." Indeed, I won't be getting those cakes for any of his birthdays. Unless I start to hate him. And that won't happen.
I like the way the dead elephants cake is apparently a huge "1" but there appears to be a card to the right of it labeled "6" - I wonder how old the kid really is.
actually, the one with the wolf and the three little pigs is taken from an illustration in a children's book(think older than fairy tale age, like 9 or 10) telling a "modern day" version of the story. i rather think it's a really nice-looking cake.
A little early for a cake that is too scary...
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Actually, I think that Dinosaur one is awesomely done. I want it at my next party!
madeline-may said: Those dead elephants look freaking delicious. Yeah, I said it.
Careful, there are enough crossover readers from passive-aggressive notes that you could end up wearing the unitard.
Deeead elephants (bum bum bum) deeeadd elephants (bum bum bum)
deeead elephants aren't much fun.
Dimento, anyone?
wv: pubnex. "The elephants turned blue.. they'll need to visit the pubnex to pinken up again."
LOL - The "x"s on those elephant's eyes are priceless!
I actually really like the wolf cake and the elephant cake (bizarre as it is). Beats a generic plastic Bob the Builder anyday.
Actually I think the elephants MIGHT be drunk and passed out, not dead, based on teh X's over their eyes.
These are great wrecks... scary wrong, yet surprisingly well done. The elephant cake would have been adorable... but what was going throught the decorators mind that made him decide to add a red "x" to their eyes? I hope it was requested... maybe "Dead Elephants" WAS the name of the band that ordered the cake :) And the three pigs cake is great. It makes me want to make a cake depicting "The stinky cheese man" (Will anyone over 27 know what I mean by that, i wonder... )
Cakewrecks is consistently one of the best and funniest blogs I visit on a daily basis.
You guys should add a "Followers" box. I know I'd follow CW.
Maybe the elephants are supposed to be passed out drunk - but if so, why aren't they pink?
And it looks like they just ran out of room on the sock-hopper cake - nice planning, wreckerator. They could have just put wheels in place of the feet and made her a dressmaker's form.
OMG! It's the blue elephant brothers of the pink elephant on my New Year's cake! -Amy C.
I love the dead elephant cake! I could be wrong, but in other countries, but having Xs for eyes means that the character is sleeping?
What is up with these parents??
And I like that the sock-hopper's jacket is monogrammed with "AH" (the kids' initials). Yes, AH! is right...
The 3 Pigs cake lady has more, and these are weird/great/something, including the heart (with arteries), woman with baby crowning, and roasted chicken cakes: http://thecakelady.ca/bizarre3.html
Okay, the dead elephants did seem a bit weird, and the outfit minus a body needed a double-take. But I like that dinosaur. I think my 4-year-old would LOVE that cake. As for the 3 pigs, that is hilarious. Not really my thing though. I could see my 2-year-old really liking that one. He loves anything with big teeth right now, and it's not looking right at him like the dino-monster.
My first thought was that the elephants were some depraved version of Heffalumps, like so: http://love-a-cupcake.blogspot.com/2008/02/heffalumps-cuppies.html
My next flight of fancy is an elaborate story that the "1" stands for "We're number 1," like a foam finger. A team with the initial "G," see bottom of the cake, has soundly defeated a team with an elephant mascot. Hence the festive sprinkles and the carnage.
The dinosaur cake looks like a rabib Barney. The Elephant cake.... is just creepy.
My son would adore the T. Rex cake but he's 8 and is all about the gore.
I think those elephant eyes are supposed to be buttons (sewn on) but they just look dead. Not to mention the diabetic coma that amount of frosting would put you into.
Okay, I went to the Cake Lady link. I want the coffin-covered-in-roses cake for my wake.
I'm going to have nightmares about Wolfie and the Half-Hams tonight.
Of course the elephants are dead. Any child of a certain age (ahem, middle?) remembers that cartoon characters with Xs for eyes were dead.
I have a pathological fear of elephants, but I'd scarf one of those frosting goops right down. Hand me a spoon.
Word verification: locker. I hid my scary cake in my locker and got busted during inspection. Oops. ;)
Did anyone else see the dinosaur cake and think of the AT&T commercial with Freddie the Fun-Loving Dinosaur being replaced with the T-Rex?
I was wondering if the sock hop lady was supposed to be the Nanny from Muppet Babies since you never see her head (AND this would qualify her for your 80s tribute!). Even so, it's, like, grody to the max!
LOVE them all! The pigs are my fav....who would do that? Honestly. Why the butts?
I absolutely love the last one.
Hah! Elephanticide.
Oh! That is *straw* scattered around the pigs and wolf. My first thought was toothpicks for the wolf to get the last shreds of pork out of his teeth.
Maybe the dead elephants cake is to celebrate an alcoholic's first full year of sobriety. That would explain both the blueness and the deadness.
I think the lizard one would go over with no problems, even at a 4yo's boys bday party.
My son would probably think it's awesome.
HA! I am so glad my cousin told me to come check you out. You are my favorite now. :)
Some of my favorite things are cake and humor. Bad cakes and humor is even better.
I did a post about a botched wedding cake. I'm sure you've seen the cake before. Anyway, in her comment she mentioned you're awesome {sing song voice} blog. I'm hooked and will be visiting everyday...at least once.
Today is Dr. Seuss's birthday, so maybe you could find some cool, or not so cool, cakes for him. Just a humble suggestion.
Ha! That 3 little pigs cake is funny shit!!
I love the three pigs cake! It reminds me of the time when my husband got me a cake with a dead pig on it. I loved that cake, too!! In all fairness to my beloved, there's a story there;^)
And the dead blue elephants (what other color would dead elephants be???) were wondrous.
I actually really like the dead elephants, but I'm not a little kid.
they are pretty cute icing critters.
Ummmm...is it me, or does the Wolf on the mauled Piggy cake look JUST like Gmork from The Neverending Story? Maybe I'm still hung over from the Sunday Sweets '80's thing, but that cake has me fearing The Nothing and hoping Falcor will scoop up Atreyu and take him to the Childlike Empress instead of letting him get mauled by Gmork. Aaaaah, the '80's...
I'm sorry, but I'm going to be laughing about the 3 pigs until tomorrow. I want the directions b/c I think I may have to find an excuse to make that one.
All these cakes are very well-made. I love the poodle skirt cake. Just because it's not your thing doesn't make it a wreck.
Hysterical! Though the dino was a bit much - eek!
WV: sessuse - these oddball cake wrecks are just the thing for Dr. Sessuse's birthday!
BTW, if you who protest that these are *not* wrecks would read the sidebars, you'll note that they ARE wrecks because Jen says so. Rules of the blog.
Um.. is the elephant cake shaped like a one? It leads me to believe it's a 1st birthday cake.... hmm, I could be wrong, maybe it's the first time the cake receiver poached an endangered animal??
That's ONE, ONE POACHED ELEPHANT. Mwa ha ha ha haaa! I love to count.
Dibs on the wastebasket.
(shaky singing through clenched teeth) yea, memories!
Blessings, Carolynn
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I think having dead elephants means way more frosting and that's a good thing.
OK, I actually like the dinosaur cake, but the headless, handless sock hop gal freaks me the eff out.
Ok the wolf and the 3 pigs is actually from a book (I think) it's called "The Three little pigs, the true story"
It's told by the wolf and he just happens to come across the dead piggies and he didn't want them to go to waste ((snicker)) the picture in the book actually looks like that.
See the wolf just sneezed and well that's how he found the pigs.
There's even a story about his "Trial"
http://www.shol.com/agita/wolfside.htm
There's also a puppet show that is based on the book that is really really great at one point one of the pigs "falls off the road of life" my little boy laughed so hard he almost fell over:)
I can't find the picture but here's an old you tube clip where Tim Allen reads the story to some kids. At the end of the clip you can see the part that looks like the cake
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTrQJgMTErQ
AH! The elephants remind me of the scary drunk scene in Dumbo. Only here it looks like the elephants on parade had too much to drink.
That dinosaur cake reminds me of that commercial. Where the mother was expecting some happy friendly dinosaur only to get the mini godzilla. The mother looks at the camera all worried and says "ah memories." as the children are screaming of course. I can see the theme now.
These are killer! Ba-dum-bum-baaa!
Poor Patrick didn't even get a dot on his "i". That's gotta hurt real bad, man.
I really love this blog.You made me laugh.
Well as I know children remember the things that had a big impact upon them.
So if I would ever make cake like that I should probably ask my self many times:Was this a happy birthday or a spuky birthday?
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I just want those little piggies with their little curly tails
that cake is art