Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party
February 18, 2009 It all started with those kitschy toilet-paper cover dolls:
I think every grandmother was required by law to make enough of these things for her family to cover a mountain of TP. (My personal favorite was our red-dressed flamenco dancer. You?) After this was done, those dear crafty souls had to come up with new ways to use their stockpile of doll torsos.
Enter: the doll cake!
It was understandable when at first children assumed they were being served yarn and TP. Here Jenn L. is saying, "How about you put that over there and go fetch me my real cake, before someone throws a hissy, Ok?"
Fast forward 30 years or so, and doll cakes have come a long way. Why, just look at all the diverse styles they come in now!
The "Hawaiian Shaving Brush":
The "Easy-Chair-Under-Her-Dress":
("My lap! My lap! My lap is on FI-YUR!")
The "Girls-Shouldn't-Have-ALL-the-Fun":
And the ever popular "Climb Every Mountain":
Cherie, Andrea M., Sanne, & Cattie P., all together now: "Life in plastic - it's fantastic!"
Reader Comments (251)
I cannot believe those were made by real professionals...
You know there's nothing more offensive than naked TP.
I can't stop laughing at my lap, my lap my lap is on fy-yur!
I still have Big (questionable orientation) Ken in my collection. I like him too much to make a cake out of him.
Horrible or no, I desperately want to go to whatever party commissioned the Ken Does the Castro cake. HEAVEN!
Where do all the left-over legs go?
Hmm, I wonder if anyone can procure the video clip of 'Whatever, Martha!' for these little nightmares?
For those of you who don't remember Earring Magic Ken (and I'm so glad to see some of you do), http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earring_Magic_Ken" REL="nofollow">Wiki knows all, of course.
I will never, ever listen to Barbie Girl the same way ever again.
I wonder......why would someone make a KEN cake? Doesn't everybody hate that doll? (shivers)
Thank God my mother never made a Barbie cake.
she always made a castle or a ladybug.
The Earring Magic Ken cake is the BEST. I totally want one for my next birthday.
(And yes, most people are pretty sure Mattel cluelessly provided Ken with what amounts to a c**k ring on a chain. It was probably the best doll of the early 1990s for that very reason.)
- Lisa.
Thank you so much for posting these! My Mom made me a doll cake for one of my birthday's and I was just over the moon about it! I think I'm going to see if I can order one for my next birthday. LOL
**blink**
Uh, the Ken cake..what? Why?
Just because you can, does not mean you should!
no no no no no. these are TOO ABSURD! please tell me WHAT is happening with the teapot one- ARM! what happened?? also, like always- the commentary is spot on, esp regarding the shaving brush barbie. excellent.
I laughed until I cried...I thought these cakes were like the rest of the 70's horrors - never to be seen again, never to be admitted that I wore some of those styles, did my hair that way, etc.
Oh my goodness....no words left to say...except, um the blue teapot, did they frosting-ly enhance her? she was gigantic.
And someone always gets to lick the frosting off! I remember that from one of my childhood friends bday parties. Her older brother, probably like 10yrs, got to lick the frosting off. Yeah, bad mom. But I've always wanted one...even in adult life I still want what I couldn't have as a child. That's probably while the're still made because people are giving their kids what they didn't get. Weird. What's with the 10ft tall cake and the angled pattern?
I thought maybe the Ken one was supposed to be Scottish, but that just wouldn't explain the mesh shirt and earring/necklace combo. I would love to hear the backstory to that one.
(Should I admit to making a bridal dolly cake for a wedding shower several years ago? I still have the poor half-doll pick around somewhere....)
i am most disturbed, actually, by the hawaiian doll's lick-off frosting bikini. that was before the mention of what may or may not be around ken doll's neck. now i'm in a serious moral debate about which is less appropriate for children...
I always loved loved loved my mom's doll cakes. There were all very "Gone With the Wind" although I always felt bad that the poor doll is actually an amputee from the waist down. These however are just awful!
Earring Magic Ken! The "necklace" apparently comes with the doll, as does the purple mesh shirt! That is too awesome!
OK, the barbie cakes are creepy enough, but throwing cross dressing Ken in there. That just begs too many questions for a young child's birthday party. Or maybe this is a "coming out" cake?
Sadly, my soon to be 7 year-old wants one of these so bad. She loves Barbies and saw one at the grocery store. I have been trying to think how to utilize my basic baking skils to make one 'cuz $50 for a cake (especially one as hideous) is outrageous.
I think the cake that says "Dolly" on it is Dolly Parton...check out the boobs. What little girl needs a cake with DDD boobs....that's surely setting up large expectations, eh?
The Ken cake is just wrong on so many levels, I don't even know where to begin....nice bling .... wait ... what is that bling ... oh no! Dude ... what kind of party is Ken attending?
As a rank amateur who took basic cake decorating as a lark, I made better-looking Barbie cakes than these.
HOW BIG did that "mountain" cake pan have to be? Or are there multiple layers under there? The doll should have been on top of the cake, wearing climbing gear.
Holy freakin' cow.
Word Verification: tingen. I started tingen all over when I saw the Ken cake.
I totally had one of these cakes when I was little. I think mine was a blonde barbie with vanilla cake and pink frosting. I was 8 so of course I LOVED it.
hee heee heeee... the Ken!!! The flaming lap!!!! *gasp* hee hee heeeee
WEIRD!!!!
If I showed this blog entry to my Gran, she would adore each and every one of these 'wrecks'. I recall a babyblue princess knit toilet roll cover that graced the back of her throne. Hilarious!
I've really GOT to stop visiting your blog at work. People are coming out of the hallway wanting to know what is so funny! My lap ... my lap ... my lap is on fire!
Hey now...I am getting my feelings hurt here. I made one of those for my daughter's birthday a few years ago. It was a "princess cake" and she asked for it after seeing one in a Wilton book. It was better looking than these...but really, pretty standard for a little girl's birthday. My daughter loved it! Those of you who are disgusted are either jealous you never got one, you have never had a 4 year old daughter, or you throw some lame birthday parties!!!!
Of course, you wash the doll in soap and warm water and maybe bleach and rinse and dry...no big deal! Granted...the cake pictured rate from, "what pan did they use for that?!" to "Yuck!"
So funny!!
my favorite TP cover was my grandmother's Mrs. Claus one. It was disturbing to say the least.
did you ever see the crocheted mushroom to cover the ajax can? i still have that one in the living room on the entertainment center w/ a 30 year old little plastic bottle of ajax because it's just too bizarre.
I think the burning lap barbie is not in an easy chair, but rather about 9 month pregnant
These are really funny....and so much funnier because they were supposed to be "cute" or "sweet".
What horrible cakes!
We refer to these as "bitch in a bowl" cakes.
my sister and i had doll cakes when we were kids, but thankfully, mom took her time when she made them and they came out really nice. otherwise i think we both would have needed therapy. for some reason my mom still had the doll torso in a kitchen drawer until sometime after i graduated high school. i'm not sure if she was planning on making a doll cake while we were in our teens or what. i'll have to check next time i'm at her house and see if it's finally gone.
Dang. I actually think the Hawaiian ones are adorable. I wouldn't mind having that Ken at my birthday (mwahaha i'm a loser d'aww).
"My Lap is on FI-YUR!" killed me. I'm still crying and the kids what to know why "fire" is spelled wrong. I haven't laughed that hard in ages, thanks!
LOL, the whole "My lap is on FI-YUR!" thing cracked me up.
Honestly, I think I enjoy your commentary more than the cakes. :P
That Ken doll cake may be my favorite thing ever. Who thought that would be a good idea? Did s/he do it in secret, or did this idea actually pass through more than one person's hands? Because if more than one person didn't see the problem with that cake... well, just color me flabbergasted. Or grateful, I suppose, because now I get to look at it all the time.
That hawaiian doll is sitting on a coconut. Once you peel off the thick outerskin, looks just like that.
I wish I knew these were wrecks, my local supermarket has had one on display forever, although I always thought it was cute. Much better than most of these, anyway.
This cracks me up and brings back a tragic memory: Me, an excited 8-year-old, smiling at the doll cake placed in front of me. A crowd of friends and family look on with delight as I make my wish. Then...FOOM!! Her hair goes up in flames as I blow out the candles! Cue fire extinguisher and uncontrollable sobs. "Nekked" Barbie has a nasty charred scalp and the room reeks of burning hair. Ahhh...the memories. Thanks for digging up that old wound :)
Wow... I keep seeing those cakes at Meijer, thinking I should send a pic in--too late, I guess!
Is that supposed to be Dolly Parton??? That's horrible....
The Ken one is just creepy.
...and is the big white one supposed to be a wedding cake or something???
I always thought these cakes were called Dolly Varten cakes and there are special tins for them?
wow. the "girls shouldn't have all the fun" cake is so great.
I wondered when I'd finally see these. I made one for my daughter's 3rd birthday. It was definately a wreck. LOL
-April
You can buy a regular Barbie (as opposed to generic doll picks) and wrap her legs in plastic wrap before inserting her in the cake. That way b'day girl gets a new Barbie. Probably no less sanitary than eating out at a restaurant...lol.
As far as Hula girl Barbie, I think it's actually kind of cool. But every doll cake I ever saw had the torso covered in frosting, usually those star tips making a dress top of some kind. So for all the *gasp* lickable tops, they've been making doll cakes that way for as long as there have actually been doll cakes. No kid ever thinks about it.
Mona, use a mixing bowl to make the skirt, as in actually bake it in there. That's basically what they are.
I had one of these, my sister had one, my stepdaughter had one in her turn. Most of these cakes (not Ken or Dolly Parton obviously) are made for little girls who adore ruffles and flowers and pink and purple, preferably with sparkles. I LOVED these cakes as a kid.
At my boyfriend's camp there's a disturbing red satin/black lace miniature merrywidow hanging in the bathroom (which is otherwise decorated with license plates). I think it holds toiletries, and maybe the little garter clips on the bottom hold towels??? I don't know why, or who thought it was a good idea.
Is it just me, or does the gorgeous Ken look suspiciously like he's sitting in the lower half of a Dalek?? (For those who don't know them: http://www.geocities.com/dalektimeline/NewDalek1.jpg)
Now that's one Captain Jack could go for!
They do a similar thing at Fecci's Ice Cream Parlour in Tenby, Wales.
They call it the Crinoline Lady and it's ace:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/robandkatie/482382050/in/set-72157600399004575/