A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)
December 7, 2009 Parents, I give you an early Christmas present: a line up of Santa cakes so terrifying, even the naughtiest child will run screaming to do the dishes.
"Well helloooo, children. I see you when you're sleeping."
"And I know when you're awake."
"I know if you've been bad or good!" [insane giggle]
[whispering] "So be good..."
"...or else."- Related Wreckage: Santa Gets the Shaft
Note from john: Yes. Strawberry is misspelled.
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Reader Comments (135)
That last cake's card is like the current White House... There's not a "W" in it!!!
Number 4... Oh.
so, on what planet does santa's poo brain ever look appetizing? hmmm?
Why do all these bakers think Santa has blue blobs for eyes?
Tis the season for...child endangerment?
Have we given up the possibility that one or more of these might also be Lamb Chop?
http://www.videodetective.com/photos/256/010782_16.jpg
I hope the pink heart cake wasn't actually left over from last Valentine's Day and redecorated.
Very funny! Am I the only one who thinks the last one looks like Davy Jones from Pirates of the Caribean?
Ahaha! Stra'berry's the best!
That other cake is having trouble with what flavor it is, too...
It's yellow. No, wait, chocolate. Both? To represent the two faces of Santa?
1) If the first one had been intentional in having that expression, I actually would have called it a fantastic job of showing subtle displeasure. But it's probably more likely to be merely bad alignment...
2) Took me a minute to figure out that the red under the eyes of the fourth was probably supposed to be rosy cheeks. I thought, "Why the **** would anyone make Santa's eyes look like they were either bleeding or had huge puffy red bags?"
3) How much you wanna bet that "straberry" is a substitute, like how "chocolatey" refers to "chocolate didn't even look at this."
wv: ressn - the resin-like product that a straberry cake is made from.
Apparently, people will pay good money to be scared out of their wits. Horror movies, haunted houses, Santa cakes...
The third one looks like the coiled crap hound did a coiled crap on his Santa hat.
The last one lookes possessed....
Number 4...OH-EMM-GEE.
What can I say? I will certainly be good this year, I'd hate to see the "or else" from these guys.
*shudder*
while as they are all creepy, the second from the bottom shall haunt my dreams...
I like that the creepiest one is a straberry cake! And I disagree with John I don't think it is strawberry misspelled. I think it is a straberry cake.
The 4th Santa from the top--- my son is wondering if Santa's hat is made from the fur of the coiled crap hound.
John writes of the last cake, "Yes. Strawberry is misspelled."
I thought they'd misspelled "staberry."
The first one isn't all bad. I've been holding off from buying a heart shaped 'tin' (teflon), since there's only really one thing to use it for.
I never knew heart shaped pans could be so versatile. (The first cake)
Wow--when you put them all together on a card like that...it's just ten times scarier!
Great idea!
I personally love the first one, where it's apparent that they took a heart-shaped pan and flipped it upside down.
No wonder the song tells you to "jump in bed, cover up your head, because Santa Claus comes tonight" I'd be hiding too if that scary dude was headed toward my house.
The whispering one is by far the most terrifying. The red alcoholic schnoz, the red droopy bags under the eyes, the leering upward gaze... I'm glad it's 10:15 in the morning so that I can move past this before going to bed tonight (hopefully)!
--kate
P.S. What says Christmas like a "straberry cake"? Nothing, that's what.
Credit is due to the creator of the first one for re-using a Valentine's day mould...
The second to the last cake looks like the "hat" was piped with corned beef hash. Yum!
I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.....
ROTFLOL! Those cakes are Awesome!
You're the best Jen! Have a great holiday!
Very creeeeeeeeepy. Good thing I actually know where a the REAL Santa can be found 24/7. He makes lunch every day at the local vo-tech.
The chili cheese fries are to DIE for!! Or at least gain 6lbs XD
The fourth one down is just flat creepy.
Mommy, save me.
Those are some scary cakes. I might replace my annual Christmas Evil viewing with staring at those cakes for an hour or so. It'll certainly be scarier, but will lack the warmth and heart of the film.
Tough call.
Is it weird that I like the one that everyone hates? If his eyes were both looking ahead, I'd like #4!
My first thought was the third one had been sipping a little "adult" eggnog!
i am going to show this to my kids! ;)
As a child, I never would've run screaming to do the dishes over Santa as seen here-- if I was naughty and DIDN'T do the dishes, maybe no one who looked like this guy would've shown up at all, preferably.
The first cakes looks like it could be the Other Santa in Coraline. At the very least, the Other Mother in disguise.
That last one sorta looks like Jack (the pumpkin king)
I have to say, these were very well-organized in that they got progressively creepier!
I kept thinking "OK, that one HAD to be the worst..." *breathe*...*scroll, scroll* - AHHHH!!!!!
The role of creepy cake santa #4 is being played by Dennis Franz!
worst part is the first one is a prefab cake the stores get in.
like a train wreck, i can't stop looking at the third one (with the flavor-identity crisis).
what is UP with that misplaced, droopy, globby eye?!
wwbjtot?!(what would baby jesus think of this?!);-)
Oh my god. The third cake and the last one are insanely creepy.
Ho, ho, h... oh my.
I just googled "STRABERRY" with disturbing results. I don't think I want this cake.
Creepy Cake #2 looks like Pennywise the Clown trying to disguise himself as Santa; "My reindeer floooat....."
whereas Creepy Cake #4...C'mon, Cthulu, I know December belongs to you, but you've done better disguises than that.
Password for the Day: "Melapt", as in "These cakes are melapt for Santa--unless you want to pass him off as a drooling psycho."
Oh geez! That last one is from some campy horror film. I may have to sleep with the light on until after christmas!
I didn't realize that Santa had such scary blue eyes...but since all of these show him that way I guess it must be the truth...... :-)
Even the best (as in bad, not good) 'cake wrecker baker' should have known to throw number 4 AWAY! Really, really scary!
I have been threatenig my kids with 'be good, santa is watching' all day...this pic might really aid that threat (or totally ruin christmas), WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET A MOMENTS PEACE.
I think the gumball eye santa (third cake) is the creepiest!
So i took the picture of the first one, in my local grocery store, and I'd like to point out that the cake was right next to weight watchers snacks. Great placement :P
Those are sincerely creepy...I'm going to have nightmares