The Spirit Didn't Just Move; It Threw Up
December 19, 2009 You know that neighbor - the one whose house is currently covered in a full Big Lots' worth of blinking lights, inflatable snowmen, plastic nativity scenes, candy cane fence posts, and Santa-hat-wearing flamingos? Yeah, that one.
Turns out, s/he is also in the cake business.
Oh no you don't - no scrolling down just yet! This, my friends, is a cake worth savoring.
Why don't you call a friend over, click on the photo to enlarge it, and then take a few moments to count how many pieces of plastic there are? Next you can debate whether "Christmas" is two different colors to call attention to "Christ" or because someone ran out of red icing. Then, just for funsies, estimate how many bottles of sprinkles were poured on to make that thick crunchy coating.
Frankly, we could be here all day.
Ok, fully savored? Good.
Now, imagine being a business person, and one looking to expand that business. Would you - hypothetically speaking - think the above cake would be an effective marketing tool?
Why do I ask? Uh...well...
I know the mad sprinkle action makes it hard to tell, but that red paper is actually a business card - and of a wedding planner.
Yes, a wedding planner.
Who wants you to hire him.
To plan your wedding.
Is your friend still there? Good. Next time killer: imagine a wedding thematically congruent with that cake. Maybe draw a few pictures. Then send them to me - cuz THIS I gotta see.
To be honest, A. Nony, I'm a little jealous: this would've been a brilliant way for me to send my own holiday greetings out.
- Related Wreckage: Ye Olde Yuletide Ax
UPDATE: Well, I can't say I didn't ask for this. Heheh.
Marian Murdoch (who is a rockin' photographer, btw) cracked me up with the little bridge & Santa/officiator, but the best part is that shocked snowman. You can almost hear him saying, "OMG, Mary? Is that you?!?"
Then we have Fanboy Wife's creation:
Oh yes, it's all there - right down to the bonus-points-scoring red rickrack up the side of the bride's dress. That kind of attention to detail is what really sets you Wreckerators apart!
Another Update: Ok, one more, from 15-year-old Kelsie:
Love the children's choir. ;)
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Reader Comments (94)
My husband's utterly snort-worthy comment on the first cake? "It looks like some kid peed in the snow!" (Referring on course to those yellow sprinkles). It's cakes like these that make me so glad I know a good baker...
Rene
There are Christmas tree lightbulbs "strategically" placed on the first cake. Full-sized Christmas tree lights. Not a row of them, to look like a string of lights, just a few. In amongst the snowmen and Nativity scene... (and the cross)... Like a eggnog-fueled nightmare.
Inexplicable. Alarming.
Step away from the plastic! Step away from the plastic "decor" and nobody gets hurt!
Merry merry...
At first I was put off by the cross and cross shadow at the nativity -- but I know there are churches that include the death and resurrection of Jesus in their humongous Christmas pagents. I like the one's that end with the wise men showing up. One thing you generally don't find is Santa gayly sledding by the manger on a sunami of sprinkles tossing gifts out to heaven knows who.
If I have learned anything from the Simpsons, it is that "Desserts aren't always right."
I see a spot they left bare....
Coincidence or...?
wv:recoma-These cakes make the recently well,want to re-coma.
Thinking about eating the sprinkles really made me get the chills because I thought it would be a lot like chewing on sand.
Also, has anyone else noticed that cake #2 is resting on what looks to be a dirty shopping cart? With an even dirtier chair in the corner? It made me think about what the wedding planners kitchen must look like and then I felt bad for anyone that was going to actually have to eat that cake. ick.
I'm glad I stopped to savour that first one. Looked at it once and went "yuck!". Then I enlarged the picture to really... well, savour, it. I don't understand why there is a cake underneath that wintery landscape. When I saw the lace at the edges, that was the final straw. It is too much for my brain to comprehend!
Oh Jen, Jen, Jen... you challenged me! In your email box is a drawing of the "real life" wedding inspired by the wedding planner wreck. What a fun way to spend a Saturday afternoon, haha!
I'm so glad I came late today to this post. Yikes!
(And we have a guy in the neighborhood who has about 127 blow up penguins in his tiny lot--he adds more every year--some years even has a mega-screen tv showing penguin movies. No cake though.)
EEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!
It's tackychristmasyards.com come to life!!
The best Christmas ever thanks to you and your wonderful idea. It just feels so good to give every day rather than deal with the rush at the Malls. Hope you do this again next year!
Happy Holidays from Nana, who takes longer and longer at this site as there is so much to do!
wv: bineed, I bineed to give some more!
My 4 year old came in when I had the first picture expanded and I asked her what she thought of it. She thought it was pretty cool, but she's *4*. I asked her if she liked all that stuff on it. She said, "Well, it's okay. But can we EAT IT?"
I said, "Actually, you can't eat most of those little shapes. They're plastic."
She said, "Oh, then there's too much plastic on it. Can I see the babies on carrots now?"
So I went back to the main page and asked her why she thought the babies were riding the carrots. She said, "Because there's no rabbit." There you have it, mystery solved.
As to the scale issue between the babies and carrots, she said, "It's just a joke. A really silly joke."
wv: fronsai The last word screamed by a suicidal palm tree enthusiast.
YES! I'm finally caught up! i just started reading a couple days ago and I'm CAUGHT UP! I can post a comment people will SEE.
Ahem... anyways. Yes I have a neighbor who drowns their lawn in decorations. It's cute but... a bit much I say!
My brain shut down trying to name everything on those cakes. Jiminy.
My ADHD children could have made a classier cake, and probably could come up with a nicer wedding theme too!!! Dang!
How bad can these bakers get!? Hee hee... those are so funny. Your blog always makes me laugh!
I can understand someone wanting to celebrate both the secular and religious aspects of Christmas, but this is not the way to do it. Not to mention that inverted cross...makes you wonder if Rosemary's Baby is in that manger instead!
I always cringe when they have Santa AND a Nativity scene in the same place....
I looked and I looked and I looked and I looked.
I give up.
Where IS Waldo?
What? No menorah? He was Jewish after all.
I want to know why all the huskies left the yellow snow around the nativity scene???
One of my favorite posts ever, Jen.
The missus and I actually enlarged the first photo and did the analysis before we read the comments.
Me, a pastry chef and her, a cake artist just cannot believe some of the things that people actually charge money for.
Kudos to you for using your powers for the good of others this Holiday Season.
Merry Christmas to you and John and a wrecky New Year!!
WV - dearr - dearr Lord, what were these wreckerators thinking?
WHere's Waldo? Surely he's in there somewhere, with all the other stuff!
My favorite charity! Yeah! I am in love with Habitat for Humanity. I have given my time and money and received more in return than I ever thought possible.
Saw your book on the Today show this morning. Keep wrecking!
Oh yes. The two-color icing was to bang us over the head with "keep Christ in Christmas"--didja notice the ominous dark shadow of a cross front-and-center of the faceless Nativity? Jeez!
I guess the buzzkill was to balance the Santa-and-deer, the treeline, the RIVER (which I kinda like, especially because in the smaller version, it looks like the snowman is contemplating jumping), the LIGHTBULBS...Oy!
--Blondie's Mom
PS Did anyone else wonder who "killer" was? As in "next time killer"? No? Just me? Oh well
@ drgns4vr-- OMG, I think you must be talking about the penguin house we look forward to driving by every year... because we DON'T live in that neighborhood! (How many can there be??) You have to keep circling around to take it all in, and even then, there's probably still stuff we miss! That place was what I was thinking of, too, when I saw the cakes today!
-CC
Blondie's Mom again.
I see by finally reading the other posts that that cross really creeps us out. I'll be surprised if there isn't a little plastic Martin Luther on the back of the cake hammering on a sprinkle-encrusted church door.
drgns4vr: better send up the searchlight for Batman!
Mama Caguama: LOL! I think Waldo's with Martin Luther, holding that menorah for Joanne.
Beccy: LOL
And can someone explain the "wv"s to me? I sort of get it...
Light bulbs? On a cake????
I hope they are plastic!
There is glass on that cake! Anyone for a little broken glass?
The foreshadowing of the Cross would actually be kind of interesting art, if it was by itself and not flung in with the flotsam.
WV: shbouti. Wasn't there a cool old song with that word in it?
Nice artwork, people! Love the shocked snowman. and the Santa hat on crucified Jesus. Too bad Poo-dolph missed the festivities!
AGhhhhhhhhh! no Amount of Zmas booze or years of ytping lesson can compile a repy beyond Ashghhhhhh@11!!! MY Gram would be ashamed!
wv: (since I was here part of it's inception) hahfst...."they made a hafst attempt to decorate a cake."
whenever I see a religious wreck I think of Lisa Simpson, referring to the "California Prunes Christmas" -- that was offensive to Christians AND prunes!
The foreshadowing cross is pretty standard tradition for the nativity scene (the wise men's gifts, countless carols, etc), but the actual art is pretty tacky. I mean, the whole point of the Christmas story is supposed to be foreshadowing and symbolism. That doesn't mean you can't be a bit more artful.
All of which distracts us from the fact that there are lightbulbs on that cake.
THERE ARE LIGHTBULBS ON THE CAKE.
LIGHTBULBS HIDDEN IN ICING.
Good lord.
Haha, it looks like kids put these together! :)
It could be a Christian cake. I have a teacher who will emphasize CHRIST in every word that contains it ^^;;
Amy
Blondie's Mom: the wv took me a while to figure out too.
When you leave a comment, you need to type the word verification in the box below in order for your comment to be sent to the site.
Sometimes, the word strikes people funny and they add it to their comment with a definition or interpretation of it.
ex. my current WV is "matedi."
so, I could write something about it. like:
wv: matedi. How a person with a speech impediment might pronounce "martedi," which is "Tuesday" in French. Or how a French preschooler might spell it.
Not the best of examples, but there ya go. :)
Here's one for matedi--
Little Johnny told matedi her gray hair.
here's mine. vilesu. What someone would say to Sue when she shows her ill manners.
The Fanboy Wife's drawing is SO funny! Especially with the extension cord running along the aisle and the broken gingerbread man cookie laying there, and of course the Jesus on the Crucifix wearing a Santa hat! That stuff is exactly what you'd see for sure if the person who made that cake planned a wedding. Those cakes should be thrown in the garbage!!!!!!
Okay. I like sprinkles but the outside of a cake should NOT be crunchy (unless the sides are covered with almonds or something. Or Heath bar. that's okay too.).
LOL the fan art is hysterical. Especially the Santa hat on the crucifix. Let's hear it for having an irreverent Christmas! XD
Jen, you are obviously a very particular and gifted wordsmith, so I wanted to make one small correction to your post about Habitat for Humanity.
I am the Family Services Director for an affiliate in Indiana, and I would like to point out that we build homes WITH families, not FOR them. Each family contributes hundreds of hours to the organization, learning about managing their finances and home maintenance, and building their (and other families') houses. It's a joy to work with these families, and I hope many people will join us!
Wow! Just... wow... Seriously, worst. cake. ever.
wv: fulsono
When I saw that cake I think I fulsono'ed in my mouth a little.
Jesus.You could play I Spy in the first two and it would take hours..
Just wanted to let you know that I didn't donate through your First Giving page, but I did send in a donation to my local Habitat for Humanity chapter. Thanks again for doing this-I can't wait to see the final totals!
IS Jesus on the cross behind that couple wearing a SANTA HAT!?!? And where Is the priest marrying them?
I love how in the middle picture there is a gingerbread man in the aisle, like he was part of the flowers thrown!!
The kind of wedding that comes to mind? For me, it was immediately that episode of Rosanne where she plans the wedding for her gay boss from the restaurant. Yeeesh...