A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)
December 20, 2008 Prepare your retinas for an assault of Christmas-time proportions:
Jami H. assures me there's actually cake under that mess. A mess, I might add, which is completely inedible - except for the frosting dots on the plastic aquarium sprigs, of course. So let's see: we've got trees, icicle garland, holly berries and leaves, and a shiny gold...ax?
Srsly - who plans this stuff?
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Reader Comments (118)
I don't really understand what's going on here, but I know I'm scared.
Well ya know Jen, mass murderers want to celebrate Christmas too! Jeez, you're so discriminatory.
Prepare your retinas, indeed!!
Is that lettuce I see on there???
Mmmmm, plastic axe.
That looks JUST like the trashcan in my son's kindergarten classroom did when I swept all the junk off the craft table after their holiday party.... who woulda thunk I could have marketed it as a holiday cake? Good news for me, I have 2 more to send through school.... I'm gonna be RICH!
Tammy
Is that a cupcake under there? I think I spot a cupcake wrapper...
Shocking.
What IS that??? (turning head, squinting eyes, moving closer to screen - nope didn't help!)
I think I see a CUPCAKE under all of that mess! And does it have red and green swirled frosting with holiday sprinkles? I wonder if the wreckerator thought they were fixing it by adding plastic crap to cover up the part where the red and green combined to brown instead of swirling in a festive holiday fashion.
And the ax... I am really at a loss on that one. Maybe to chop down the aquarium springs growing out of your cupcake?
Thanks for some Saturday morning humor!!!
"..someone left the cake out in the rain..." No, really.
I'm pretty sure the axe is for
Chopping through all the ornamental
garbage to get to the luscious Fruit
Cake inside! No? Then maybe it's
A suicide axe for killing yourself
after ingesting that nasty bit of
Christmas festivity!
The golden ax caught my eye immediately. Why? If it were a scythe, I could understand...Father Time, and all...
I look forward to your blog and your witty commentary every day. Thanks so much!
Blogless Mary Lou
The first thing I said when I open this was...
"What the eff is that?"
Of course, 'eff' was completely pronounced.
Some poeple should not be allowed near a mixer & a stove.
It looks like Santa threw up on the cake. All of that crap...errr stuff...isn't even artfully arranged. Looks like the decorator (and I use that term loosely!) stood back 5 feet and just threw it willy-nilly. Why bother?!
Could this cake lend some of its decorations to yesterday's "Winter" cake? They'd both still be wrecks, I promise!
Where's the kitchen sink?
Best of all, it looks like all that mess is on a cupcake!!
I had to keep leaning closer and closer to my laptop screen to actually figure out what was going on!
Maybe there's something about the cake they were trying to distract people from. Perhaps they thought "if we pile enough random crap on top of the cake, they won't realize we ran out of frosting."
What the HECK!!!!!!! this is crazy!
What kind of person comes up with crap like this and thinks its a good job well done??????
NUTS!
That looks like a cracked tooth waiting to happen!
Monique D.
In fourth grade, we made presents for our moms that looked like this cake: a plaster of Paris base with things just kind of embedded in it, of which all that remain now are the twigs of decomposed evergreen sprigs, a dusting of glitter, and the partial carcasses of broken tiny glass ornaments. So cheer up, cake -- in 39 years you'll look much more tasteful.
Woah.
What is happening here?
WV: mucro -- What this cake is made of.
Brianna McCarthy@Passion.Fruit
http://briannamccarthy.blogspot.com
I thnk that's a giant cupcake hiding underneath there...perhaps the purpose of the ax is to break the cupcake free?
I...um...what? That's not a cake. That is the pile of bits and pieces of broken or unwanted decorations that has been sitting in a corner of the garage.
I think someone was walking through the bakery with a box full of unused decorations and they tripped and dumped them on top of the cake. Then the decorator was probably busy and just threw some frosting on there for good measure.
I think I see a cupcake somewhere in there... lol
Someone had a perfect town in Animal Crossing!
Also, Druids would cut mistletoe with a golden blade, maybe the wreckerator is better-educated in folklore than we thought.
Here's what happened.
Employee #1: I have to leave early. When that cake is out of the oven decorate it for Christmas and put it in the case.
Employee #2: Uh, I'm not sure I know how to do Christmas cakes.
Employee #1: Just like a birthday cake, except red and green, instead of electric blue.
Employee #2: [Doubtful look, remembering how loudly the last birthday cake customer screamed.]
Employee #1: Just do your best, and if you mess anything up there's a bunch of Christmas decorating inedibles in the drawer next to the airbrush. You can cover up any mistakes with something from there.
---
And as for the axe, the Presidents' Day supplies are in the next drawer up, and Lincoln's Axe got in the wrong compartment.
IT's what you do at the grocery's cake department when the teen ager is baking and he/she doesn't know how to ice and decorate...
"hey I know! I'll just go get some of that tree decorating stuff off the discount table at the back of the grocery store near the restrooms and use that instead. Christmas is Christmas right? " heh heh heh....
even scarily - *someone* is going to buy this!
I'm seriously worried about my mental state because...I think I understand the "theme". It's an ode to going out into the wintry, icy woods to chop down your Christmas tree. Peaceful, ice laden branches, golden ax, branches crackling underfoot.
I've fallen into the vortex Hold me!
it looks like one of this pictures with a lot of stuff on it and you have to look for one tiny person . In this case it's more like "finde the ax"
My son has an irrational fear of Veggie Tales. He was leaning over my shoulder and said "oh no mommy veggie tales made a cake..no mommy no!!!!" The scariest thing he could imagine creating the scariest thing imaginable..that about sums it up ;)
What...What IS that??? Did they really put that on display??? My sweet mother of Wilton.
Word Verification: inner; This cake violates my inner cake decorator.
christmas barfed on that cake, cupcake/ whatever? it must have been a rough night for christmas.....
This is what happens when Santa barfs.
This is my new favorite wreck! Hideous in the most magnificent way!
Maybe they made it for Jack Nicholson to commemorate "The Shining."
Where's the psycho santa with the bugged out eyes?
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
The thing is hideous for sure, but the ax is kind of a traditional Yuletide Log decoration. Get it? Log? Ax? There is logic there.
The garland? Not so much.
Mella- I'm not sure. The axe is the one item I could actually tell what it was. The rest is just... a glob of stuff?
And OMG, my verification word was vicules! I can totally see it, "This cake is covered in vicules of holiday decoration."
Is there even any cake under that monstrosity?
Is that a cupcake??!
At last, a cake to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas--going to extremes in the most excessive manner possible.
Except I didn't see gold or silver dragees. Maybe next year.
I'm with the person who said, "It's an ode to going out into the wintry, icy woods to chop down your Christmas tree." Not to justify the result, but I think there was a coherent intention there -- it started from a Buche de Noel and spiralled out of control.
There's nothing wrong with an ax on your buche de noel, but it makes more sense if you can tell that the cake is supposed to resemble a log!
It looks like the twisted pile of stuff at the bottom of the ornament box when we drag it out of the attic every December. Not a very appetite-inducing sight, I have to say.
Who manufactures shiny gold axes, and for what purpose?!
Oh wait - is there an annual Paul Bunyan convention somewhere?
That looks like someone got really excited about the holidays and threw up...thus creating this wreck.
Is this supposed to be something you eat?
?????
???
??
? Nope, I still don't see it.
**Word verification: racipe - a recipe for an inedible cake