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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Oct092009

Putting Their Best Feet Forward

Ok, this is going to be toe-tally corny, but I'm doing it solely for the laughs.

Ready?

[pregnant pause]

Ta Da!

I get the impression you'd have to be a real heel to belly up to this baby shower cake. Eh?

Yep, the belly cakes just keep getting better and better, folks. I mean, sure, the headless, limbless preggo torso was undeniably appetizing for a while, but it's nice to see bakers reproducing some with a bit more kick, don't you think?

Er...Either this baby is reeeally flexible, or she's going to need some corrective shoes later in life.

So, today: fetal feet.

Tomorrow: fetal faces?

Ahh, we can only hope.

MK & Rose S., these babies really stomp out the competition, don't they?

- Related Wreckage: Return of the Belly Cake

« Happy National Cake Decorating Day! | Main | "World" Tour, Take #2! »

Reader Comments (88)

Oh man, I'm tired...I totally read that as "Tomorrow: fetal feces". Then I thought, oh crap, don't give the scary decorators any new ideas!

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

It looks like they're having cartoon babies because each foot only has four toes. Maybe they're half ninja turtle.

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor@MyOlderBrothers

Oh wow... just wow! How czan a cake be so technically right but still so wrong?!? I thank my lucky stars that I haven't been asked to do one of these monstrosities! If I ever do, I'll be sure to turn myself in to the Wreck Police! ;)

-Jenniffer
http://cupadeecakes.blogspot.com

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenniffer

Atleast neither one of them did outtie belly buttons!!! Some cakes just make ya wonder....

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

When do we get to see the 3-D ultrasound cakes?

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Ok, reading "fetal faces" as fetal "feces"...would definitely give a whole new take on the cake...

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

By the way, since I happen to be a book reviewer as well as a fan of your blog, I couldn't help http://www.errantdreams.com/reviews/2009/10/09/cake-wrecks-jen-yates/" rel="nofollow">posting a review once I was done reading through the book. Still hoping I can make it to the reschedule of the Bethesda signing!

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterheather (errantdreams)

I see feet sticking out of someone's back in that last cake. That is a seriously butt-like bosom! And the baby's feet are on the wrong sides. Ok, something positive...nice handwriting, and a lovely linea nigra (the dark line below the mother's torso's navel). How can there be that much detail on a headless woman!? I don't blame the bakery; I blame the weirdos ordering these monstrosities!

WV: vambila If you cut into these cakes you can see the vambila-cal cord.

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

oi! better feet than bum cheek impressions

{yak}

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

OK - first of all, those boobs are just EMBARRASSING! And has anyone noticed those babies are wayyy breech and posterior? This would be a scary cake for me!

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

hmmmm. something's afoot here.

at first i thought the baby's feet were literally coming out of the mama's belly. but after reading your comments, i stand corrected.

that second baby's feet are definitely backward. bet his parents won't be too thrilled to foot the bill for correcting that.

also, let's not sidestep the issue of writing across the mamas' breasts. it's very damn classy, but i think the bakers are walking on a thin line.

these wrecks really keep you on your toes!

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTerry Lee

LOL at the breech and posterior comment. Too true. The only worse cake I can imagine would be sets of feet at top AND bottom -- a locked twins situation *shudders*.

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarliO

Fetal faces!!?!!?? That'll be shades of Alien all over. EWW!!

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly H

...um, I like the baby bump cakes :)

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStacie

I think the poor kid has two left feet.

From this angle, "Tummy" looks like "Tumy." Is the fetus being regarded as a tumor? Shades of Hellboy II...

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdeckardcanine

Oooh catty! You have to admit the first one is really well executed, no matter what you think of belly cakes. Question: do you call the cake cutting a c-section? The backwards feet is just really too bad.

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Actually .... the feet in the second cake look like they are positioned more correctly than the feet in the first. When in the fetal position, the legs are crossed. The feet in the first cake look like the baby is in a terribly awkward position, it would have to be some kind of knee-chin tuck with legs together. Either way, they are both totally disturbing.

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDana

I think I know the photo responsible for this one--someone photoshopped a photo like these cakes--the PHOTO was pretty cool.

http://photobucket.com/images/pregnant%20foot%20in%20belly/

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAli Mae

I'm having a hard time with the bosoms with writing all over them. And can we make their chests a little larger!? What? Are all the bakers men?

;)

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercannwin

Oh, my. So just replicating a pregnant torso with the head, neck, and limbs cut off was not enough; now we have to see the marks of four-toed fetuses that have somehow escaped from the womb and the amniotic sac and are sticking their feet through a herniated abdominal wall. And, as Anonymous points out, they're both in a delivery-defying breech position, and the second one seems to be executing some kind of cross-legged split.

WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?

... Sorry, had to take a few breaths there to calm down. Maybe it's a cultural difference, but among my people, neither cannibalism nor display of dismembered human bodies are considered normal party games.

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGary

That is more disturbing than watching a medical drama on tv. EEEWWWWW. Wow. Seriously - what would you do if you went to a baby shower serving that cake?

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

It seems that breach birth is very in vogue for cake decorators as well. I mean, even *I* know they don't usually come ou that way.

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

I believe those cakes were trying to copy this picture, which has been circling the internet for quite a while. Personally, I think it belongs on Photoshop Disasters. http://babybumpdiaries.com/images/baby-foot-pregnancy.jpg

Sorry, there is no way you could see that much detail of a baby's foot sticking up against the mother's tummy. It's just not possible. It does make for some creepy looking cakes though.

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy C

I'm usually okay with belly cakes, but those are CREEPY.

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrandy

i'm i the only one fascinated by the second ones GIGUNDOUS BAZONGAS?! i swear on my piping tips i'm not a 13 year old boy. i swear. but- they're the same size- if not a little bigger- in "height" than the alleged tummy. I mean, I know they jump into action during pregnancy, but... those are like triple G's or something.

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

Oh.
My.
God.

Why????

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelsey

Gag. That's so un-appealing.
~Amy B

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Baahahaha.. pregnant pause. I just shot coffee through my nose. ouch.

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSara

Aw, I think the cakes are both just lovely. I wouldn't be comfortable actually chopping them up or eating them, but they sure are pretty.

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNiecey

Whoa! I'll see your 'do not want' and raise you a 'HECK NO!' 0_o

WV: 'Riverse'--Seeing these cakes makes me want to put it in riverse and get the heck outta here!

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

Jen,

These are disturbing. Today, you are my "arch" nemesis....bwwaahahaha!

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

That reminds me of the kicks my daughter gave me from the womb! But I agree, I wouldn't want to eat a cake that looks like that!

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCostumeholic

If I see feet like that come through my stomach in real life, I'm going to be creeped out. I don't know how mamas can look at these cakes and not feel a little nauseous. I bet they serve these tasty cakes very quickly.

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfeathergirl

Did anyone see the wreck that Jon Gosselin got for his daughter Mady? Misspelled name, overuse of flowers....yikes!
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20311297,00.html?xid=rss-topheadlines

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmma9405

ewww

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKara

Now I am officially creeped out by fondant...

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Er...Either this baby is reeeally flexible, or she's going to need some corrective shoes later in life."

OK, you are so completely hilarious. I laughed so loud my coworkers had to come see what I was doing... :)
Thanks for my daily therapy,
Katie

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie Anne

I'm scared this trend will go into hyper-realism and start producing accurate, NSFW breech birth(day) cakes. With lots of strawberry jam.

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Fetal faces?
We can only hope, indeed. That would be the creepiest thing ever. straight out of a scene in a horror movie. Almost like the alien bursting through the person's stomach.

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAaronJamesPatterson

shriek!!

Ewwww! Those are disgusting! Even the ones that are well made, just....yuck!

WV: derec. If Tattoo had worked on Fantasy CW Island: "Derec!! Derec, Boss!!"

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterrbnhood

Are those her boobs, or is her butt on backwards?

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

HMM....If Bella had a baby shower, I bet this is the cake Alice would get her....baby Nessie coming to get us all....RUN AWAY!!! RUN AWAY!!!

~Bonnie B

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBonnie

As someone who is currently pregnant, these cakes (and the idea that you could ever see an imprint of feet in someone's stomach) have made me really glad that I always check Cake Wrecks *after* eating. Ewwwwwwwwwww.

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGlindie

Hey! I had a crazy pregnancy-induced dream just like those cakes! I was watching my unborn daughter kick and push on me and I could see the shape of her feet sticking straight out of my belly.

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkimbalaya

These make me a little nauseous. And I've actually born a child. :urp:

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNikki

Oh god, if they start doing fetal faces, I'm pretty sure I'll be having cake-related nightmares.

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercoeurdechoeur

What does that first one say? Hello Mymmy, Goodbye . . . ?

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think it says "Hello Mummy, Bye Bye Tums"

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first one says "Hello Mummy, Goodbye Tummy"

I can't read the other one.

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJasini

ah!!! ahhhhh!!!!! ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

October 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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