Well, the word "holy" DID come to mind...
January 29, 2009 
Ok, sure: this first communion cake is atrocious. (Is the dove molting? And why are there more choking hazards on this - something a child is supposed to eat - than in your average Lego set?)
Still, you have to admire the wreckerator's tenacity in scrawling the inscription right over the plastic flotsam. That, my friends, is commitment! No namby-pamby dashes, squished text, or downward spirals here, no sir! This baker does not deviate, does not falter! S/he trudges onward even in the face of crippling ridicule, turning a deaf ear to nay-sayers, a blind eye to the warning signs of impending disaster, a numb hand to the piping bag, a stuffed-up nose to the smell of burning batter, and an insensate tongue to the bitter dregs of defeat!!
[sits back down]
Ok, so maybe I was reaching a little with that metaphor. I thought I was doing well until the "burning batter" bit, though. [taps teeth with pen] Huh.
Still, I think we can all learn something here. Something about perseverance, something about throwing caution to the wind, something about...oh, I dunno... picking the cake up more than 30 minutes before the party starts? [nodding] Yeah, that, too.
Note: Since I get asked a lot, many of you will no doubt be relieved to learn that Wreckporter Holly later received a full refund. You'll remember that more-than-30-minutes-beforehand thing next time, right, Holly? :)
Reader Comments (83)
To be honest, I figured (before looking at the large image) that the chalice was fondant.
And the communion wafer isn't plastic; it's cardboard. Just ask any Catholic. :-)
For my cousin's first communion cake, a simple sheet cake with "God Bless Joey" written on it was ordered.
We got "Good bless Joey."
I don't think god likes cake.
That is seriously just sad. Seriously who makes these?! ha ha.
I think the chalice and host are actually chocolate, with the chocolate chalice sprayed gold. Chocolate or sugar chalices and hosts are commercially available for this purpose, and I've never seen a plastic one.
ungodly.
I'm surprised they got a picture of this cake before it was obliterated by a lightning bolt or something . . .
Boy, a fake wafer on a cake. I'm an agnostic born and raised and even so that raises my eyebrows.
Oh em eff gee, is that host one of those magical white fudge Oreos that pop up around Christmas-time? XD
That's an awfully tiny dove dipping the wafer into the chalice. Does that mean only a small portion of the Spirit was present?
This cake makes me want to cry. For more reasons than one.
I meant egg YOLK.
In case anyone notices that I misspelled--I mean, had a TYPO.
heh heh...
=^--^=
WV: actuit: If you yell this word really loudly, someone will say, "Gesundheit!"
Oh my goodness, this is actually a "pack". Down to the ugly yellow frosting. http://www.sugarcraft.com/catalog/holiday/communion/001.jpg
Poor Julia, I've seen a lot of nice communion cakes. This is not one.
Hehehehehhe, molting Holy Spirit. Great visual. Or maybe those drops are sweat, because the dove is flying madly to rescue the holy wafer from certain drowning in a chalice of cheap wine.
I have to say this was the first time I actually yelled out "OH NO!!" and covered my head with my hands when I saw the picture. That's too bad.
No one has yet mentioned how out of proportion everything is. The host is huge in proportion to the chalice, and the dove and the bible are positively minescule. I too did a double take on the whole rosary thing. I thought it was tapioca.
Anyway using a rosary as a cake decoration is just plain wrong.
I think I'm the only one who thought "What is a pile of snowballs doing on a communion cake?"
And then someone said it was a rosary and I did a loud, "OOOH".
That cake is a hot mess. I love the roses though. They are beautifully done.
This looked awkward but not awful in the blog-sized photo. But when I clicked to enlarge it, the sloppiness of the writing became all too apparent.
The worst thing, tho, is that the rosary ... is real. And squooshing a real rosary into the frosting of a cake is just wrong.
As for how one would do a great First Communion cake: The Last Supper in fondant 3-D -- there's something that would stand out.
Let's see, a communion wafer the size of a dove? Looks like you're going to need a larger chalice!
I'm gonna have to say that it was a mysterious attempt at signifying that the Word reigned supreme, above image, chalice, roses,--literally. Very medieval icing iconography!
Wow there is nothing else to say.
I can hear the thoughts..."Over the chalice? Around the chalice? Under the chalice? What to do what to do... Cant scrawl across the host, oh the dilemma... Over the chalice we go... is that Julia with two l's??..."
Wow, that has got to be one of the worst decorating jobs I've ever seen! No way I would have paid money for that, glad to hear Holly got her money back!
I used to work in a place that had every one of those pieces of plastic. We'd be up to our ears in rosaries and Bible shaped cakes in May. Ahhh the memories...
Misha=)
It's a sin against all good, upstanding cakes for this abomination to be brought forth into culinary existence!
Cue the angry mob with pitchforks and torches!
Okay this is a first for me but I actually really like this cake. There is something really innocent and endearing about this failed cake. I like the colors and the composition, and It kind of reminds me of the holy grail. Is that what it is? the holy grail?
The whole drinking the blood of Christ and eating his body thing?
I voted for you! I've just discovered your blog (I was looking for cake ideas! LOL!) and I must thank you for turning my day at work from a dreary into a great day! I can't stop laughing and my co-workers are starting to wonder if I've completely lost it! LOL!
"You got a nice white dress and a party on your confirmation. You got an ugly cake, and a host so fake." -- if Billy Joel had seen this cake before writing "Only the Good Die Young"
Despite all that, I have to add that I really love the yellow and white. I probably wouldn't use it for a first Communion cake, but I like it.
that second cake is so pretty
Two comments for this one,none of which have to do with the, erm, "lovely" writing.
1: Did anyone else immediately think of Monty Python when they saw the grail? (Okay, I may go to hell for that one...)
2: I had the same type of plastic rosary on my communion cake...and the same thought went through my head about the choking!
Wow! That's my EXACT communion cake from 15 years ago! Except not exact in the sense that someone more capable wrote on mine.
I seek the Grail...
I have been in indentured servitude at a supermarket bakery for 11 years and I know what a lot of these decorators (I use the term in a kind, magnanimous way) have to work with.
You know what's really sad? The whole thing comes as a kit (just add cake and icing!) and they send you a card with a photo of what the cake is supposed to look like as a guide...
They may have deviated from the photo a bit on this one.
If this thing is supposed to be a kit, with a template, where the heck do they EXPECT you to write "Congratulations"? There's no space! especially not with the dove taking a bath or dunking the host or whatever it looks like he's doing.
The bible looks so lonely floating in space.
the pile o' pearls (rosary)'s placement redemption is that at least there will be less icing to try to clean off those little beads since it's sitting in a pile instead of elegantly "draped" all over the cake (and icing). ick. messy.
I'm laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes, and at times I cant breath! lol xx
LOL.
I'm from Ireland where (being 90% Catholic) Communion happens in a BIG way. For most normal families it's a morning Mass, a lunch out and an afternoon away somewhere. It's probably the first time a child gets money from relatives in any significant way.
However, for the uh, let's just say more devout members of society it involves horse drawn carriages, a good slathering of fake tan (now that girls under 16 have been banned from using sunbeds), and dresses that inhibit their walk to the altar.
I'm fairly sure this cake falls somewhere in the SECOND category.