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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Jan262009

Why So Serious?

Superheroes have it rough, too. I mean, there's the tights, the endless amount of bullets ricocheting off their rock-hard pectoral muscles, and of course all the women throwing themselves in their paths. (Obviously I'm talking about guy superheroes here, but if you'd prefer to think of Wonder Woman with rock-hard pectoral muscles, more power to ya.)

What, that doesn't sound so bad? Then allow me to introduce a new Wreck series: Caped Catastrophes. Today's first lucky victim? The Bat Man himself.


Here Bat Boy rides out of a plastic drain-pipe on a magma slick in glorious celebration of "Brian Day". Um, are those things on the side supposed to be bats, Clarissa D.?

Then there's the continuing drama between Batman and the Batmobile:

"Wait - come back! I didn't mean it! I DON'T miss that new-car smell, honest!"

I agree that the door in the brick wall is a little odd, Ashley W., but what I really want to know is how the Batmobile can leave a cloud of snow-white exhaust shaped like a hibiscus flower. These Bat gadgets - they just get cooler every year, don't they?

Fortunately Judith C. reports that 'man and 'mobile appear to have made up here:

"Blasted Baked Balls of Blue! I can't...quite...reach you!"

Christal W. found the best toy-to-cake ratio out there:

I'm not sure if "River" is the birthday person's name, or if - in the tradition of Wreckerators everywhere - the decorator just labeled the cake what it's supposed to look like. If that's the case, then s/he must have meant "cascading river of blood, cement, and mold". But, you know, that probably wouldn't have fit.

([sigh] Again, yes, it's "professional". I checked the site and everything. C'mon, a little credit here?)

Now remember, kids: crime doesn't pay. Right, Batman?


But you know, all these cakes are totally cheating: they each use plastic Batman figurines! Why aren't decorators actually drawing the caped crusader?

Oh. That's why. Thanks, Nicc.

[shifty eyes] Um, and can I just say that that's an unfortunately appropriate placement of the "pp"?

Aaaand I'm done.

Have a superhero Wreck you've been meaning to send me? Then send it in soon; I'll be continuing the Caped Catastrophes theme over the next few weeks.

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Reader Comments (112)

PP! I almost pp-ed my pants laughing!

February 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbeloved30

Im a cake decorator at Walmart, and I think its hilarious that a ton of these cakes are from there.. hahaha.

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDanielle

The toys on the cake is because of copyright issues. Very few if any bakeries have the right to do a cake like you are talking about them doing. Would cause huge legal problems for them. The baker of the cake you praised so highly might not appreciate your compliment especially if it brings her the attention of whoever enforces the copyright of Spiderman

February 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersugarycreations

The cake second from the bottom... It looks like there is a pair of glowing blue eyes reflecting in the display case... now thats disturbing. perhaps batman's nemesis?

March 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thank you Jen, honestly without your comments I wouldn't find half of these cakes so funny. Ugly? Of course. Funny? Probably not.

July 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHannah

... iwanted a Batman cake for my 16th Birthday....now i'm scared to order one!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterZannah

#1 "When you close your eyes at night, do you still hear the bats scream, Clarissa?" I know the name isn't an exact match, but I couldn't resist. Maybe they're screaming because they were made to perform aeroBATics.

It looks like Bat Boy is jumping out of a giant pram ('old-fashioned stroller'), though that still doesn't explain the neon orange goo.

'Brian Day'. Let's hope that was the kid's full name, and not the start of another dastardly trend in word economizing. I know the point was already raised, but there sure are a lot of candles...

#2 looks like Batman was teaching Robin to park just as Tinkerbell made an unfortunate appearance in the wrong story. Poor Timmy. Poor, pink Timmy. Maybe he and Brian will have the same therapist. All in all, it's just another door in the wall.

WV: exesse. Exactly.

July 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Ah, Jimmy! Or is it 'Simmy'? Definitely not Timmy -- there are no collies on that cake.

Poor kid -- that cake even makes his name ambiguous.

What's the deal on the last specimen -- the background looks like mac & cheese. I so hope not -- I like that particular dish and want to keep eating it without hearing that theme song playing over and over in my mind...

July 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Cashing Crime? eh?! xx

October 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

I now understand how the bat mobile lost a wheel though I feel the joker ran in this particular case

February 25, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Bat*girl* is fighting the dragon (at least, I hope that's Batgirl). With a sword. Now it all makes sense, right? Except for Robin being an Elvis impersonator...

wv: santerea. Except for spelling, what I think might have been involved in the 'River' cake.

February 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

My favorite one was the third one :)

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