My Youngest Wreckporter
September 23, 2008 "Now let's kick it over to our newest Wrecks correspondent Violet, who is currently on location at her sister Ruby's third birthday party. Violet?"
"Jen, I'm sitting here in witness to the worst Wreck I've seen in my admittedly young life. Take a look at the disaster area left behind by what could only be called a Disney Princess Explosion.
"As you can see, there is airbrushing, hearts, garland, blobbular "rosebuds", and green leaves growing UP the "waterfall" - not to mention the fact that you have to clear off all the toys before you can even cut the thing! And don't get me started on those three '3' candles - I may only be 10 months old, but even I know that math doesn't add up."
"Wow, Violet, isn't that kind of harsh? I mean, the colors are pretty."
"Pretty? Pretty?!? Obviously you aren't seeing the matching Princess plates, napkins, cups, giftwrap... Do you see this hat I'm wearing, Jen?"
"I think it's Tinkerbell."
"No, it's a representation of the blatant over-commercialization that is running rampant in our society, that's what it is. Would you like to hear my dissertation on the breaking down of social conventions by the media barons?"
"Oh, look at the time! Sorry Violet, but we need to wrap this up."
"No problem; time for my nap anyway. Hey, Mom! Guess who needs a fresh diaper? Eh? Hey, what is that? Oh heck no, I am NOT wearing a Princess themed diaper! No, absolutely not! You're making a mockery of my beliefs, woman! Get that away from me!"
"That was Violet, my youngest Wreckporter, folks!"
Cassie F. (aka Mom), don't worry; she'll love that hat by the time she turns 3.
Reader Comments (148)
Absolutely awesome!!
Violet should be paired up with Stewie. LOL
I've always hated the "generic Disney princess!" thing. It's stupid. When I was younger, if you had a favorite Disney movie you could get a t-shirt with your favorite princess on it, dress up as Jasmine or Pocahontas or whatever. Now they just take their merchandise and stick 3 or 4 princesses on it and call it a day. Do you like Sleeping Beauty? Well too freaking bad, because she has to share a spot on the shirt with 4 other princesses. They're not individuals, they're all just random generic princesses! Who cares what they're names are!
I think it's ridiculous. Who would want that kind of merchandise?
The expression on that kids face is a classic!
But surely Mom is a fan of bright colours, having named her kids Violet and Ruby . . . .!
Wow - that cake! At first I thought there was something up with the colour settings on my screen!
Here in the UK, I don't really think we have the same 'cake culture' as in the States - at least there isn't the same 'bake house' supermarket thing happening when you can phone in an order. Some of the bigger supermarkets will print a photo onto an icing sheet and sell the cake it goes on and some small independent bakeries take orders for cakes but nothing like the scale you have over there. It's amazing - I am addicted to this site!
I've actully decorated a handfull of those cakes. It's a god-awful design, but believe me when I say the Hanna Montana design is worse.
Of course, this decorator looks like she used the largest tips available. I had no idea #32 tip came in "jumbo" size"
~Kia
Well of COURSE you have to have a whole bunch of toys and candles on the cake. You've got to have one lick-able thing on the cake for each child at the birthday party to avoid the inevitable throw-downs over who gets to lick the stuff that comes off it. (And then we use it again? Ewwwwwww! And yes, I'm totally guilty of that, too!)
On a totally unrelated note, if my word verification was on a license plate, I would read it "whitey giggles." (wtygglz) :-)
I am soooooo glad I have a boy & do not have to suffer through Disney princesses.
All hail Transformers & Power Rangers!
- Mo's mom
Cute baby face!
I love the way that the princesses' dresses bleed into the cake...
"Disney Princess Explosion"!!
Priceless commentary.
I am so grateful that my girls are not girly girls...
Violet, methinks you have a bright future ahead as a blogger or political commentator. Keep up the good work!
BWAHA! I love Violet's face - sooo awesome!!! She is probably thinking of that diaper's contents and the colors that may appear....lmao
Amazing the things kids will pick for their cakes....ick!
Yeaaaaaaa Cassie, Ruby & Violet! We love our girls here in Ohio!!
Hey, I used to work at a grocery store bakery where we made this cake, and it looks EXACTLY how the instructions tell us to do it. Gaudy and all.
-Jen
That was utterly amusing. That little baby's face made my day.
So I have now spent the whole morning looking all over the internet on where to buy those cake toppers because my daughter would just squeal with glee to get that cake. She is all about the princess thing.
That cake is one more reason to count by blessings. With five sons and no daughters, we won't ever have to worry about that "wreck" ending up in our house.
Hilarious. Violet is a star!
Yep-if I didn't hate them already -now I really do...hate the Disney Princesses. You go Violet!
I think that you have to consider the recipient. An adult might not like this cake (I personally think it's fun), but I'll bet most little girls would love it.
Violet is my hero! When I grow up I want to be a strong, proud woman like her.
Great post!
Less Is More. A lesson important enough to teach to a child as young as three. Oh. By the way. All 4 of those Princesses had a dead or absent mother in the story. Happy Birthday!! Not.
My daughter insisted on this cake for her birthday! But, she's 5 years old, and her taste is questionable at best.
So...clarify something for a non-decorating type: These cakes are in some Cake Bible, and it's listed in there as something like a "#47 Princess Cake in Neon Tongue-Staining Colors"? Which is used by many Big*Store bakeries?
The things you learn...
My favourite part is the look of disgust on the baby's face. LOL!
did no one else notice that the matching color flowers (roses?) behind the princesses looks like they left a trail of matching poo behind them? i kept waiting for Violet to point out that she would NOT like a slice from behind the princesses!
of course i am sure my two-year old would have loved this cake - but when your aunt is a baker, you only get to name your theme and your aunt makes that theme as tasteful and beautiful as possible.
I'm most offended that they left out Jasmine, although I guess Snow White's not on there either.
You are too funny, girl!! Thanks for the laughs!!
At least they put Belle on it!! (She's my fave!)
Sleeping beauty is wearing pink. That's enough of a disaster for me. Stop lying to yourselves Disney, her dress was blue the entire movie, get over it. I hate pink, blue is better.
:-)
its a set that is designed by one of the biggest cake toy makers out there - DecoPac. and the design is pretty damn close to how it is supposed to look. i think in this case you're a little off base. it was made to look like this as per the manufacturer of the set. it isnt the decorators fault. i mean yea, the execution is a tad sloppy, but its not that bad. i guess you ran out of real cake wrecks to day eh man?
gotta love all the self-congratulatory "Thank GOD I have BOYS so I don't have to look at princess cakes!" comments. Yeah, cuz them GI Joe and Transformers and Spiderman and Pokemon are so much less offensive...sheesh...
That's what you get with cheap-ass $30 grocery cakes. You only have yourselves to blame. Go and find a talented decorator instead, sure it might cost you a bit more, but the taste of the cake & decorating talent is more than worth it!
Anonymous @ 4:23
So what you are saying is that if a cake is made correctly, it can't be gaudy or overdone? Maybe the designer is to blame. Who knows?
I can't get over Violet's face! Too funny!
Keep 'em coming!
It looks like the princesses pissed out easter egg dye underneath of themselves.
I love the use of a 10 month old and the angle at which you described this cake. Hilarious! and sooo true too. It's hard not to get caught up in mass media spew when you have young ones but we can try.
Keep up the great investigation and analysis!
The cake designs that you see in the display books in your favorite grocery store are approved by the license-holder- Disney, Mattel, etc. Whatever the design is, it is one of many that was presented to the Disney people none of whom have ever decorated a cake. That is why you see so many of those cakes with inedible red borders.
We visit your blog daily and laugh ourselves sick.
I wonder if Violet is also concerned about the blatant discrimination that this cake is displaying. Sure, there's a red headed princess, but where are Jasmine and pocahontas? Is 'white girls and neon' a theme?
That is one opinionated baby. :)
I don't know - I think this cake is charming, especially for a 3 year old! I don't think she's too concerned with all that stuff; she's thinking something more like, "HOLY CRAP! PRINCESSES!!! AND PINK!!! AND LOOK AT ALL THE COLORS!!! OMG! DID I MENTION THE PRINCESSES??? THIS CAKE IS AWESOME!!!" Lol.
Awwww, I bet the birthday girl was so happy about that cake! I know my 3 year old would have been gushing!! It's pretty audacious but I'd say as a whole WAY better than some of the other wrecks lol. Everything is spaced evenly, spelled correctly, the writing looks nice. Ok well a rainbow DID throw up on it but she's too young to know that life isn't all rainbows and roses yet, right? lol Hey I say throw some plastic unicorns on there and she'd like it even more! hehe
extreme technocoloured brightness
Imagine if the princesses danced around in little circles on the cake.
What a face she has!!! Haha :)
All I have to say is concerning the use of the candles. Thank goodness she wasn't turning 6! hehe
So this clearly needs to start an off-shoot website. Who's going to make FaceWrecks, collecting photos of scrunched-up baby faces now? :-)
Violet's expression is priceless! :)
Winning post as usual.
OMG funniest by far!!!
That's the best face ever.
Some of you people are mean! It's for the birthday of a three year old little girl! She's THREE! Cassie, good on ya for all the cheesey princess stuff. I hear so many parents complaining about how ungrateful their kids are at any age. Here you have a 3 year old still gushing about a cake 2 months later! I totally understand the whole evil Disney thing and I agree about the racism and discrimination found in Disney cartoons. BUT sometimes you just can't take the princess out of a little girl. She's too young for conversations about body image and what-not just yet. Of all days to try to curtail a child's interest in something, are some of you commenters actually saying you'd do it on a little girl's 3rd birthday? Glad I'm not YOUR kids!
Is the cake a wreck? Oh yeah. But that's not necessarily a horrific thing. One of the great things about cakes is that in most circumstances, a wrecked cake can still be the hit of the party! Comparing this cake to the picture in the cake bible...it's not an exat match. I've done these kits. There are often hundreds of cakes in those books. Is it likely you're talking to a cake decorator who has made every one of them a couple of times? Not really, especially if you are at CostCo or Vons or an ice cream shop (which is where I made cakes) and not a bakery. So you place an order for a design out of the bible and maybe they have the kit instructiond and maybe they don't. This kit isn't a work of fine art to begin with and then it's placed in questionable hands (questionable because when placing an order anywhere, you don't know who'll be decorating your cake or whether they're good or not). Then, you pick up a wreck!
Cassie, I'm glad Ruby loved it and that you guys let her have her happy neon princess theme. Violet is adorable and you better watch he sharp wit! It's a dangerous thing at only 10 months olds. I fear her cake request! :P
Aw, guys. I used to work as a professional birthday party princess. I kind of love it.
These princesses were the original princesses - the ones that were there BEFORE Jasmine, Pocahontas, and Mulan. (Beauty and the Beast came out the year before Aladdin.) So it makes sense that the four featured princesses would be those four.
I love how this epitomizes the sterotypical 3-year-old Princess cake (heck, *I* would have loved it at ANY time in elementary school!!!)
By its very nature, this cake is a WRECK princess-loving toddlers would ADORE. Thank you so much for sharing!!!!
Love the names Violet and Ruby! And while ugly, I LOVE to eat cakes with too much buttercream icing. Lots of icing, hold the cake. :)
Sadly, the cake is SUPPOSED to look like that. I made four of those cakes every weekend for about a year. However, there's not supposed to be a huge shell border on the bottom or a huge amount of leaves growing up the water.
Also, the cake was for a three year old. If it were up to my three year old niece, her room would be pepto bismol pink and she'd wear her Hannah Montana wig in public every day.