A Magical Bakery Tour
August 22, 2008 Today's post has been lovingly ripped off from Wrecks reader Greg H. Greg sent me an e-mail with the following photos and commentary, and has already been duly warned of the impending plagiary (though I will admit to some minor editing). Enjoy!
"Welcome to Magical Cake Magic! Allow me to show you some of our creations."
"First we have Mr. Bony-Hips the cat. Isn't he just the cutest as he stalks his prey?"
"Then there's the ever-popular 'Decaying Camo Fish'. Almost fresh and always delicious!"
“What do you mean that’s unappetizing? Well then, how about the ‘Castle Warfare’ cake? We put in red and orange gumballs to simulate the severed heads. Also, we construct 50% of the cake from paper towel and toilet paper rolls so your little ones are assured plenty of fiber.
“Hey, where are you going? Don’t you want to place an order? I haven’t even shown you our ‘Teddy Bear Drowning in a Jacuzzi’ model!”
"Or the 'Birthday Sarcophagus' and 'Noah Saves the Rare 2-Headed Giraffe'!"
"Ok, well, I can see you have to rush off now, but be sure and remember us for your next occasion!"
Thanks again to Greg H.!
Reader Comments (73)
Okay, Greg's comments were funny, but you are the master! You should repost this and tell us what you though of when you saw these.
Maybe the two-headed giraffe is a distant relative of the pushme-pullyou that Doctor Dolittle kept?
The decaying camo fish is something else...
FIRST!
Ok, I just saw you're blog on "the Buzz Report" at cnet.com. I hate you Molly Wood. I've busted more bloodvessels since I got here, and it was a laugh I really needed.
Thanks for uplift!
Excellent as always. Anyone else think that cat was originally a turkey before someone changed their minds on the cake order at the last minute?
The teddy bear one and Noah one are actually kind of cute and would have turned out great if they would have done a little modifying. However, one what planet did the person come from that thinks that battle-scene cake turned out picture-worthy?? That might scare the kids more than those freaky clowns!!
That fish looks like it wants to barf almost as much as I do.
That's awesome!!! LOL!!! We have some fine examples of air brush overuse, odd subject matter, and strange shaping! A montage of mess....
Am I the only one who thinks the bubbles in the jacuzzi cake are actually kinda cute?
Anyway, for the first several cakes, I think someone needs to take the can of spray paint away from the decorator before they hurt themselves.
Wait, no. That might be a good thing. More spray paint! More spray paint! :-)
Ha ! What IS that teddy bear meant to be lying in? Champagne? Washing-up liquid? Those squidgy plastic packaging things?
Excellent(said in a Mr Burns voice).
Is it just me, or does that 'drowning bear' look oddly like a freaked out baby?!? Yikes!
Even scarier - I think that is a baby drowning in that jacuzzi. Someone call 911!
Oh dear. I must confess to having made a sarcophagus cake myself in the past. But in my defence, my 6 year old son INSISTED! (And it was his birthday)
Funny as always!
Just a note: The text in some places is so small it's impossible to read.
Suddenly happy to be allergic to cats. EW
Kerri
That's got to be a baby in the bathtub, not a bear - look at the human feet!
ROFL!
2 Headed giraffe.
Ha!
Oh dear. I don't think that's a bear drowning in that bubble bath. It looks like a baby! Yikes!
ok, the Noahs Ark one would have been cute if each giraffe had been given its own neck.
The rest.....hoooo boy!
I love your cakes. It makes me feel so much better about my homemade disasters! Such as the exploding Barbie Cake.
Why is the cat shaped like a frog?
People actually PAY for that crap?? Oh dear.... I can't stop laughing!
LOL... Those are great!
okay, in all fairness, the ark might just suffer from bad camera angles. I am not sure that a bad photo of a cake should qualify as a wreck.
Magical Cake Magic is right. Think those decorators will share a little of what they were smoking?
*giggles*
Personally, I appreciate that the Pharaoh is holding a candy cane. So festive.
After careful inspection, I think the creature going down for the third time in the jacuzzi from hell is some sort of bizarre teddy bear/baby hybrid. The feet are definitely humanoid, but the ears have a distinct bear-like appearance and placement.
Perhaps it's actually a cake of someone disposing of a genetic experiment gone terribly wrong.
I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse.
Hahaha... someone really tried to make that frog a cat ...
GAH! solamommy is right! The cat IS shaped like a frog!! It's a Frat! ...or a crog.
at first glance, I thought the cat was a frog, too. its really creepy, but not as creepy as the poor drowning baby!!
The teddy bear in a jacuzzi and Noah's Ark cake had so much potential if they just tweaked a couple of things. They aren't nearly as bad as the others. That fish though...ugh.
"Why is the cat shaped like a frog?"
Maybe the cake decorator had a frog-shaped cake pan, but not a crouching-cat-shaped cake pan, and figured that with a little icing and some creative air-brushing no one would notice? Optimism dies hard.
Carvel Ice Cream stores have a whale-shaped mold they use for their "Fudgie the Whale" cakes, which get turned into "For a Whale of a Dad" cakes for Father's Day, which is fine. But they also use them (turned 90 degrees) for Santa cakes for Christmas, giving Santa a peculiarly misshapen hat. Fortunately Carvel cakes are so yummy nobody cares, and anyway it's less disturbing than a realistically colored, frog-shaped cat.....
oh good i'm not the only one who saw the cat as a frog :P Looks like they just slapped on a pair of ears and a tail.
the rubber duck in the drowning baby cake is the cutest thing ever and the bubbles look maybe like mini marshmallows. yum!
That cat? Is a frog!
Another proof that the flood didn't happen...there's no 2-headed giraffes! (okay, I can have fun with those who make fun of me, can't I?)
And that cat looks like it could have TOTALLY been a frog. Just turn the very fat tail into a foot with a little toe definition, color it green, and it's a frog.
Man. Those are some bada$$ and sada$$ cake wrecks! LMAO
Some of these are great!
I actually think the sarcophagus is kind of cool, but I'm known to have a morbid streak ...
I'm with solamommy - that cat made me think "frog" as soon as I saw it.
A frog would probably have been more appetizing, now that I think about it.
How SUPER EARLY was the bony hips cat girl's 16th birthday?
I want more context. LOL
Is that pipecleaner choking the cat's neck?
I think the baby in the tub fits in the same category as baby butt.
I love these...hopefully none of my cakes make it on here...lol.
Given the very human foot, I think the teddy bear in the jacuzzi is actually supposed to be a person in a bathtub. And although I think it definitely belongs on Cake Wrecks, I think it's kinda cute -- and definitely the most edible of these cakes. I like the lack of gross colors in the frosting (I'm sorry, but I don't want to eat *anything* gray).
Omg. You just destroyed any possibility of working for the rest of the WEEK!
I do kind of like the teddy bear drowning...
The siege castle looks amazing. But I don't think you could eat it without shedding a tear!
I agree, I think that's a baby drowning! Quick, who knows cake CPR?
Yeah, that bear/baby has a spookily accurate human foot. So either it's a baby with head tumors, or a bear who's drowning a baby as it clambers to the surface to save itself.
Oh, my, the pp are right--that IS a baby drowning in that "tub" cake.
Baby in a tub could be a cute idea (although I'm not really down with the hacking into human beings and eating them, even if they are cake, thing), but that kid is clearly in danger of drowning. Don't these people know you shouldn't leave children unsupervised in the tub?
Some of them weren't that bad, really, but the "cat" and the fish sure were!
That cat is totally a frog, with a tail and stripes.
Drowning bear in the jacuzzi? Look closely and you will see a human foot next to that bear face. Not sure what is going on, but made me LOL.