Thursday
Jul312008
Ow.
July 31, 2008 
I'm pretty sure I just burst a blood vessel in my right eye, looking at this.
[squinting] From what I can see, this appears to be a pimp-mobile on a suicide run through a radioactive river of blood - only it's a radioactive river of blood with jaunty blue outlining.
I love the extra cupcake stuck on the side, too: what's that supposed to be? A pit stop?
If you want to give yourself a migraine, try reading what it says in front of the car. Don't see any writing? Look closer. No, closer. Let's see...I think it says...
Dang it!
There went the other eye.
Jen E., I think you owe me a bottle of Visine.
Reader Comments (116)
You guys crack me up! Every Cake Wreck is technically "professional", inasmuch as someone was paid to produce it. So after all we've seen, you're telling me THIS one shocks you? ;) Par for the course, my friends!
I just found this blog. Being a professional cake decorator myself, I find these absolutely hilarious. This one reminds me of something one of my co-workers(who is not at all a cake decorator, just an overly enthusiastic cashier) made and gave to a customer before I saw how terrible it was. I wanted to call and apologize, but my stupid co-worker had already ripped up the order form with his number on it. Oops.
Yup, that cake is something else. I'm having difficulty coming up with a word to describe it.
Disaster, perhaps.
Well, I know that this isn't the wreckiest of cakes you've had on here, but at least most of the others have a plastic platter or evidence of a piping tool (although people can have those at home). This one just looks homemade.
my 5 year old just saw this. he said, "mama, i want this cake for my birthday." just don't even know how on earth i could reproduce such incredible cake-osity.
Who writes with red icing on a red cake?!
I just found your blog, and read through all of the posts. I am laughing so hard I am crying. I have to say that the 1st post is my favorite. I am still laughing. I will definitely be checking in again. Keep up the Grate "work" LOL.
You're blog is hysterical. One of my friends just sent me the link. I love it! I've never seen anything like it, both the blog and the cakes!
I just discovered your blog. Or should I say THE BEST BLOG EVER. I never knew cakes could be so unintentionally funny (and WRONG!)
OMG, I can't believe someone paid for this! But sure enough I searched "publix hot wheels cake" and found this: http://www.publix.com/food/catalog/Bakery/DecoratedCakes/Kids/1189/DecoratedCakeDetail.do?id=1189
It's arguably better than the one on your blog, but why would anyone buy it, even with the car in the correct direction?
that was hilarious. your commentary is always dead on to what i'm thinking. and yea lol the cupcake on the side is effing funny.
your blog is one of the most hilarious blogs I have ever read!
I hope the terrible cakes just keep on coming, so that this blog can keep on going as well!
not only is the car on backwards, but the flames look like crinkle cut fries covered in icing. just awkward.
It really bothers me that they didn't even get the front end of the car correct... flames out the front? Geez...
Besides the horror that is the "decoration", why did this happen on top of a pile of cupcakes? Who decided that frosting a group of cakes as if they were one was ever a good idea?
Oh my goodness, you're right - that cake does make the eyes hurt! But I about split my sides open laughing. Thanks for that. =)
I bet the frosting tastes horrible with all of that red dye. Ick...
OMG!!! I just found your blog. I love it! I have laughed more at these cakes and your perfect comments than I have in a long while. Thanks for making me laugh.
Holy Cow! I just found this site through a friend's recommendation... and I am howling with laughter at this site. I have a few favorites already... "Naked Mohawk-Baby Carrot Jockeys" and "Makes you wonder what the card said" made me cry I was laughing so hard.
LOVE YOU!!! I'll def. subscribe!
This thing looks like pure cupcakes all jammed togeter with some toxic icing on top, they didn't even build a proper cake or even take off the cup cake wrappers first, holla!
There's no way that kids should ingest that much food coloring. His mom is going to think there's blood in his stool. For like, a week.
OK, as a professional cake decorator, I have spent an hour laughing at your blog! I'm so glad I have found this because even on my worst days (when nothing goes right - and yes, they happen to the best of us!), these cakes make my work look genius! As for cupcake cakes, hey, I make a lot of them, but they look good!
Hi. I enjoyed reading your blog. Thankse
I work for Publix and have seen this cake upclose and personal and the people in the bakery did a great job at my work,DEAR LORD,it looked nothing like the hack job thats posted here!!!That is one scary cake posted here.Great blog BTW!!
Okay, I found a link with more cakes if you want to check them out to critque. I also used to make cakes and would love for you to poke fun at them. It was a hobby and I know all the mistakes and the outrageous comments you could make. Will have to make a blog so you can see them and give me some poking-lol. I can take it.
These are not my cakes.
http://gs260.photobucket.com/groups/ii29/5SS4ELW9PO/?start=all
Fascinating blog!
Got hooked up to it through a pasted link in Topix.
I'm gonna like this one.
Aww, I can tell someone worked hard on this cake, but they didn't really THINK it through. It's just horrible..gag! =[
Oh man this blog is amazing and I can't get enough of it. Let us know if we can help you get the freeze off. I hope it comes back soon because I am hooked!
Congrats - I've chosen to pass on my Arte y Pico award to you because I love your blog. Feel free to join in the fun and pass it on, or skip it if you're not into it. Either way, no cakes will be wrecked in the process.
Rules for passing along the award are here:
http://beacheats.blogspot.com/2008/08/may-i-have-envelope-please.html" REL="nofollow">Rules
Happy baking!
why is the PM driving INTO the flaming exhaust?
That is hilarious! My 4 yr old son saw the picture and asked if I could make a cake like that for him - LOL!
All heck is gonna break loose when those flames shooting out from under the car catch those candles on fire.
I just found the link to your blog on Fugly Horse of the Day! about 20 minutes ago and have read the whole thing. My cheeks hurt from laughing so hard. Brilliant! Personally, I thought that car was about to run over some human-sized en fuego french fries... or perhaps it's supposed to be a fire-breathing car replete with directional flame-throwing capabilities in order to put the drowning tractor tire around the corner out of its misery??? Either way, I think I've looked too long. I feel an aneurysm coming on.
OMG just found your blog. Too funny. Thanks for all the laughs today.
Amy
Just stumbled across your blog and have been laughing for the past 45 minutes straight! *Whew* This is some of the funniest stuff I have ever seen!!! Love all your commentary too!
I just discovered your blog, you had me and my husband laughing so hard we were in tears.
I hope to never have one of my cakes featured on here. I've made some terrible ones, but never sold them, thank goodness!
Oh, and I have no idea why cake decorators don't use punctuation on their cakes, after reading your blog, I realized I'm guilty of that too. Don't worry, I'll start!
I just want to thank you for your blog. It made my day, keep up the good work!
Reminds me of the routine that Eddie Murphy used to do about home-made Big Macs. I can just hear the kid's mom:
"Max, I can make a cool cake for you at home for a lot cheaper than the bakery. See?!"
"Mom, this cake sucks. And it's not even a cake it's a bunch of cupcakes glued together with frosting. I want to be adopted."
But now I've read all the other comments and I see that it was actually a store-bought cake! I'm going to leave my comment, though, because I worked so hard on it.
yup, that is a copyright exclusive Hot Wheels cake that is featured in the DecoPac catalog. Yeah... the colors are a *bit* off....... Nice mess too!
I figured out that pit-stop cupcake! It's the beginning of the slide - it's supposed to look like it goes under and around. Really badly done...
Did a BAD job of matching that Hot Wheels cake in the DecoPac/Bakery Crafts catalogs...
Copycats! lol!
Sadly, I recognized this immediately. Both my nine-year-old and I decided it was an attempt to replicate something from the Hot Wheels World Racer movie.
It's even on the front of the movie box! Clearly, I have been spending too much time in the kids' pop culture.
I think the red road is supposed to be the http://soundconcepts.org/images/HotwheelsLogo.gif" REL="nofollow">Hot Wheels logo, but I could be wrong. Still a massive wreck of sugar and pain.
Im pretty sure it says Happy Birthday Mark. We're looking at it backwards or upside down. This is terrifying.
NO its Max! Happy Birthday Max...
O my goodness. I am laughing my ass off at that one.
Max is clearly being raised to be a good Klingon. All good warriors must cross The River of Blood to get to Stovokor.
Yes this is a commercial cake and it can be purchased at Publix and Wal-Mart. I saw this cake at our local Wal-Mart and I was also confused by the shape of the cake. The one here had a two cupcake pit stop area.
I agree that it is a pretty ugly cake. However, I actually bought it because it was the only "boy" cake available for a last minute party. And let me say it was quite the hit among the four year old set.
Hi all. Max's mom here.
So this was the cake that my boy picked out at Publix, despite my best efforts to steer him toward the Lego or Wall-e cakes, which weren't quite so, um... orange.... and weird. But it was his 5th b'day and his choice.
My mistake was picking up the damn thing less than an hour before the party, which left me with NO time to find something else. Regardless, he LOVED it.
Thanks to Jen for the hilarious site and for posting our photo contribution to "sweet" cake-wreck-dom.
Actually this cake is totally awesome. Really. Awesome.
And the car is backwards!! I seriously now have a headache from looking at that.