Drew's Birthday Wish
July 30, 2008 
“Aaaaand here comes the birthday boy’s cake! Now, Drew, remember when your father and I asked you what you wanted for your birthday, and you said you wanted a second Xbox 360 for your game room, and we said no? You do? Well, do you remember what you asked to get for your birthday after that? (Look at me when I’m talking to you, young man.) Do you remember? No? C’mon, why don’t you tell your aunts and uncles and grandparents what you told us you wanted for your birthday, hmmm?”
[incoherent mumbling]
“What was that, sweetie? Did you say you asked for your father and I to die horrible deaths? Because that’s what I remember you asking for – isn’t that right, Charles? Isn’t that what Drew wanted for his birthday? Well, Drew, I’m so sorry we couldn’t oblige you this year – but maybe we WILL die horrible deaths one year soon, and then won’t you feel terrible for making that kind of request for your birthday? Well? Won’t you?"
[slamming cake down]
"So, hahah, here’s your birthday cake! Isn’t it lovely? I just hope that when your father and I really are rotting in our graves you’ll remember today, and you’ll think about how hurtful words can be."
[smiling brightly] "Now, who wants ice cream?"
Reader Comments (73)
This cake was perfectly executed.
oh lord, that narrative made me laugh so hard im crying. i can picture it perfectly. ahh parents. i can see that turning out exactly how you said.
all i can think of is the crickets chirping in the background to cover the awkward silence the guests are experiencing as they shift in their seats going omg how do i get out of this?!
I have a friend who would love to celebrate halloween year-round... It wouldn't surprise me if this was her cake for one of her kids (since she makes them obsess over the same things she does). At least, I would have thought it was hers if not for the fact that her boys are younger and neither are named Drew. While it's not my idea of a good cake, I don't really consider this to be a disaster.
I'm a 20 year old female and I want this cake! Reminds me of when I was in elementary school and we took clear, plastic cups and filled them with chocolate pudding and gummy worms to simulate mud and worms. So good!
That was hilarious! I love your commentary
Seriously...I want this for my birthday cake next month - I LOVE dirt-cake!
You are hilarious!!!!
Came here from Dawn's blog (mom2my6pack.blogspot.com). So glad she posted the link.
i love this cake! lol i'd totally choose it.
I'm sorry, I've just got to say...
That looks really cool.
I think that some of your "cake wrecks" aren't wrecks at all! That look like a GREAT Halloween cake.
Bah humbug.
Three letters: L-O-L. In case you don't know, that's ELL-OH-ELL, LAUGH-OUT-LOUD. Wait...*walks to cake place* "Make it say LOL, as in laugh out loud" says me "Oh wait, no, don't!"*1 week later I pick upa cake that says "Make it say LOL, as in laugh out loud oh wait, no, don't!"* Crud...
I found your site earlier today, don't remember how.. but I was at work and had to stop reading because these cakes are crackign me up.
This post, about the worm cake for Drew... Oh my. I'm in hysterics here!
I am totally bookmarking this site!
Thanks for the laughs!!!
Okay...so I have been reading this backwards straight for the past few hours. And this one finally made it so I had to completely crack up and say: You are awesome!!!
Your site is amazing. Proof of just how good this entry was, for one, is that I translated the entire thing to spanish, so my friends could read it, and they still cracked up! Nothing was lost in translation! The amusement over badly-done cakes trascends languages... haha
ohmigosh...
that narrative and then looking at the cake again?
DON'T DO IT.
IT'S SCARY.
Oh, and my point is mostly because of only seeing the worms, then reading it, then seeing the bones, knowing what they (probly didn't really) mean...
as well as *Michell.
When I was a kid my favorite cake was one my mom made with chocolate pudding, whiped creak, and crushed oreo cookies. She put it in a ** brand new, clean** flower pot ans stuck tulips in it, then set it on the table a a centerpiece for the party. No one knew it was a cake. then when it came time to serve she dug into it with a trowel and plopped scoops onto everyone's plates, and i will admit there were gummy worms sticking out. :P
Some of my prissier friends were a little creeped out, but it became a running family joke to pull whenever new friends were coming to a party.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh, my word -- that is *hilariously* funny! When I saw the cake, I didn't think much about it. Little boys like worms and bones and stuff like that. Then I read your commentary and couldn't stop laughing!
You know what's really sad? I could totally see my mom doing this, dialog and everything. maybe that's why its not so funny to me.
You are brilliant. This post made me cry with laughter. Thank you!
Besides the clever narrative, I honestly don't think this is much of a cake wreck.
Call me morbid, but it seems rather creative to me. It's much better than the time I was given a suspiciously red cake and told it was made with horse blood.
My cousin has a birthday in october, so one year my dad made her a brownie graveyard cake-she loved it and laughed heartily
Glad you got it through
your thick skull to buy me cake.
Hey, my slice's bone dry!
There are even kids who ask for cat litter cakes... XP