Artistic License
December 9, 2008 I've been getting requests for more "missed marks" Wrecks. Your wish = my command. Well, when it's something I was going to do anyway, that is.
Here's what Jennifer S. wanted for her sister-in-law's baby shower:
So you know this is going to be good, right? [snicker] Here's how I imagine the conversation in the bakery went:
"So Lee, you gonna need a tracing for that cake design?"
[scoffing] "Puh-lease! Me? Don't you remember how I took that art class in night school last fall? I'm golden! Pass me the airbrush, will ya?"
"Wow, are you sure? It looks pretty complicated..."
"Only to the untrained eye, my friend. Now stand back and let the master work."
15 minutes later:
[staring]"Gosh, Lee, I don't know..."
"Yeah, it's a little bare in the corners, huh? I better add some roses. Let's see, what color goes best with purple, orange, and yellow?"
"Maybe a light pur..."
[interrupting] "OH! I know: teal!"
(Note: The crazy names and question marks were actually requested, since the baby's name was still undisclosed. I'm guessing the damaged area was a result of Jennifer doing a face-plant after fainting in disgust at the sight of it. Am I right, Jen?)
Reader Comments (146)
I, personally, would LOVE to see how much each of these bakeries are asking for their wrecks. and how many of the wreck victims got their money back.
As soon as I saw the design I said, "Uh oh!" I recently painted a bunch of Dr. Seuss characters on my childrens' bedroom walls ...(photos are buried on my blog http://subrosa-rosamundi.blogspot.com/2008_10_01_archive.html
if you wanna see them....scroll to the bottom ) and THAT was a huge undertaking. To ask it of a cheap cake decorator would be asking a LOT!
But I honestly expected a better attempt. It looks like this cake decorator threw in the towel after 5 minutes.
wait. was that our craft today in kindergarten???
I just had a Seuss/ Oh, Baby, The Places You'll Go-themed shower. I also did not have a name chosen at the time of the shower, either! I am so sad at this point that my hostesses did not request THAT cake.
Maybe next baby...
Holy. Hell.
It looks like the little msn messenger guy got eaten by a snail. The the evil msn little guy eating snail had his flying bird thingys, (Fritzpatrick, McTovish and Brenton), from the movie Heavy Metal, carry him away to his lair in the rafters of Mount Doom.
wvotd is geollm..."the sun, shinig through the shell of the snail revealed a silohuette of the noshed msn guy trapped in the snails stomach. This is known as the geollm effect."
or it's Middle Earth gel insoles. "I'm geollm like gollum."
Or they were using up the last of the teal icing from the Bules Cleuless cake. Nice recycling bakerpeoples.
---
It was a long day at work today.
You could not make this stuff up.
It looks like a snail being pulled along by the flying monkeys.
that is so cute.
I agree that the bakery never should've accepted this design because of the complexity and copyright issues. I also agree that you're asking for trouble asking a standard grocery store bakery (which is where I assume she took it) to do a design like this.
Maggie
this is one of the wreckiest wrecks you've posted in a while. i don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but dang.
I'm more horrified at the possible name choices, myself.
I love it! I'm looking at CakeWrecks while my 4 year old son is eating breakfast with me (I know, there goes the mom of the year award for me). My son immediately said, "Mom, that cake looks wierd- is that right?" Ha!!!!
WOW. I agree - I think this is the wreckiest wreck to date!
Is that a 'Lost In Space' episode that I missed??
Peopl who decorate cakes simply MUST MUST MUST learn piping skills! Argh, my eyes hurt!
This may have been a design picked out from the decorator book... so maybe we should all stop commenting about the copyright thing.
Jen just said that was what they wanted and gee.. if it's in the darn book, you'd think someone would be skilled enough to make it.
As far as names... hmm... I think it's cute... as far as joking and that's what they were calling it. My cousin and his wife were calling their last child, Vladimir Nickel Iputin... they re not russian... name has absolutely nothing to do with their son... just drove his mom - my aunt- crazy for 7 months. ;o) I could see them putting that on their cake. lol
(Renton is a city near the Seattle airport... perhaps there was a hotel stay on a cancelled flight?)
wow... that's such a jaw dropper... I'm still gaping
the names!! I actually know a young man named Benton, not SO bad...but McTavish? OK, maybe they are Irish on both sides...but shouldn't that be FITZpatrick, not FRITZ...?
awesome. i love the missed marks!
ohhh...i'm laughing so hard that it physically hurts.
BaaaaaaaaaHAHAAAA! That is the most pathetic "art" I have ever seen. Well, maybe not considering I hang around here, but still...
Verification: monmens = my dudes = the guys in my life = my homies
I love this! Esp. the orange-blob baby.. aww!
What is the worst thing of all, to me, is that this cake could be salvageable with a few more steps. Using the airbrush for basic color and shape and then going in with darker icing to create the outlines and detail.
Instead, it just looks like the baker got tired half way through and figured that teal roses would make up for the complete lack of effort they put into the rest.
"Oh, I know! Teal!" I love it. :)
Hey, nothing says "baby shower" like an orange bowling pin inside a flying purple snail, am I right?
I just see a purple snail. If they weren't sure of the name, why not just say Welcome Baby boy? The person requesting the cake certainly had a hand in wrecking it.
To me, it looks like a nipple from a baby bottle, inside of a "Jetsons" car, being pulled by yellow Flying Monkeys from the Wizard of Oz.
Oh, and airbrushed by a severely nearsighted 5 year old.
Any way you look at it, I can't believe they actually let a customer see it!
Poor Theodore Geisel,
spinning in his grave
As this baker turned knave
botched his character
beyond any recognition of Mr Richter
and his shaky scale.
Oh such attempts that pale!
That we must be made to see
such baked debauchery!
The people that keep saying "it's such a complicated design" are morons. Have you never ordered a cak before? Most professional bakeries have the picture scanned onto edible paper/ink and place it on the cake. That's how you get photo cakes with the person's picture on it too. DUH. When the person went into the bakery and handed them this picture, obviously they expected that result. Who would purposely get a wreck for their sister's baby shower? How embarrassing!
Also, I highly doubt a guest at the baby shower would turn them in for using a copyrighted image... Everything seems to be some legal issue these days- it's a baby shower cake that will be EATEN, for god's sake! It's not like they are making a billboard or something...
*tilts head*
I guess this is what Mulder was really looking for all the time...
SK
It looks kinda like an alien landing.
My local supermarket bakers don't know what devil's food cake is. No, seriously--I asked for a devil's food sheet cake and got a blank stare. I tried to explain what it was and got another blank stare. All this about 50 feet away from the aisle that sold devil's food cake mix.
I would never ever ask for something this complicated from a supermarket bakery. You're just asking for grief.
I have a theory on the names: I think the actual name choices were Tavish and Patrick, and the shower hostess decided they were *so* Irish they must have a Mc or Fitz (or Fritz as the case may be) in front of them. I bet that under the smoosh was an O' or something (O'Renton).
Also, did nobody else notice that the poor snail is *bleeding*?? Oh the humanity.
wv: whianul whianot?
I hope no one had to pay for that.
Actually, no. I would have paid for it and then promptly thrown it at the decorator's head.
Hmmmmm....is it the Marlin or the Swordfish that looks like a stork?
IF storks were purple.
No matter.
But wait! Why is the Marlin /Swordfish trying to catch chickens on the wing?
Maybe it's a graphic for a new carnival ride, hence the bubble thingie bearing a little (uneasy) rider.
Ya THINK?
Now, about those NAMES...my heart says, "No!!" --but my mind is saying, "That'll be left up to the results of the multiple paternity tests..."
This is just an ugly cake no matter how much you stare at it. I'm more mystified regarding the possible names of the baby.
In Jen's defense, I think Dr. Seuss mentions a kid named "Fitz Patrick McTavish McBreem" in one of his books. If so, then it would make perfect sense, had the picture turned out correctly
I... there are no words.
there are some horrible cakes that get posted here, but I think this one is by far the worst. I just... damn.
I am honored at all the attention my submission received. The baby's name is Nolan Matthew. It was not a Walmart bakery but an EAL (English as Another Language) bakery in Federal Way, Wa. I've taken Wilton Courses I-III and could have done a better job if I wasn't planning the rest of the shower. Thank you all for your hilarious comments.
Congrats! The lucky boy has a charming name :) May his birthday cakes be Sunday Sweets and never wrecktastic!
Dude, please tell me they didn't pay for that cake!
My 4 year old son think it's awesome. The second he saw it, he said, "A dinosaur in a submarine! Cool!"
It looks like the flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz have a side business of delivering babies...or stealing them...who knows?
I'm father in law of the mother. The cake was pre-paid at $59 for a quarter sheet. The bakery assured us it was no problem. The names were a joke take on a Dr. seuss theme. I picked it up the day of the shower. What could I do at that point?