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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Nov242009

Talkin' Turkey Tuesday, Too

We're continuing to count down (up?) the top 20 ways to wreck a turkey cake. Hold on to your giblets, folks, 'cuz this is gettin' gooood.

11. By confusing turkeys with bank-robbing peacocks:

(But isn't his little kerchief mask adorable?)

H. By plumbing the depths of the phrase "intestinal fortitude":


Spoon. By anthropomorphizing a mushroom cloud:

Yes, seriously.
(I know, right?!? That's what *I* said!
)

XVI: By confusing "turkey" with "demon snuffleupagus...from Rio":


17. Or by confusing it with the Magnificent Bagel-Nosed Falcon of Uganda:

(The resemblance is uncanny.)

R. By sketching out your next art car for "Burning Man":


And lastly...

20. By putting an Indian headdress on Cthulhu:


Nicole D., Marcy P., Sarah T., Diane M., Lindsay H., Michelle G., & Kristen R., I'm starting to forget what a turkey even looks like. I guess that means I'm ready to start decorating!

- Related Wreckage: Turkeys

NOTE: Hey, Floridians! John and I will be at the Orlando Public Library Saturday, Dec. 12th, at 2PM. Here's your chance to stock up on signed copies of Cake Wrecks, aka "the perfect stocking stuffer." ;) Go here for details, and to RSVP.

« Really? I Mean, Really?!? (Yes, MORE Turkey Wrecks) | Main | Time to Talk Turkey »

Reader Comments (139)

Are H and the last one actually coated in Marshmallow Fluff? If so, I'm almost impressed.

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ew, that last one looks so like something you'd find in the litter tray and then decorated with crepe paper. As if.

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDinah Tate

Both yesterday's and today's posts were terrific! I love that you included "snuffleupagus"!
I've found my turkey, but I have not found my turkey cake. OK, that's not fair, as I haven't been looking. I think I'll pass given the range of specimens available...

Word verification: framit (pronounced "frame-it")

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

LOL at your number list!!!
11...H...spoon
LMBO!!!!

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

The last one looks like a cross between Cthulu and one of those Virgin Mary candles you can get at the grocery store.

WV:halpawle

god halpawle these ugly cakes.

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterViolet

okay I just had to say
SPOOOOOOOOOOON!

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTralix

Jen you miscounted. You left out the number 'fork'. =P

And for spoon, you see an anthro mushroom cloud, I just see a muppet wearing a wig. Possibly Beaker.

And i don't know why but 11. makes me think 'B-rated movie'. Maybe its the corny special effects.

The burning man cake will be much better once someone eats the 'wheels'

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEvalis

The first one looks like a well-tanned Tweety Bird wearing a swine flu mask in front of the NBC peacock!

I feel a little slighted, Jen. You promised a top 20 and today's half only has 7. I'm no math whiz, but I think that means you're a liar. :)

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor@myolderbrothers

haha, it took me like a full minute to realize you were messing up the numbering on purpose. *runs to the kitchen for a cup of coffee*

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSteph W

What about the other 7?

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterunekdoud

Number two (pun intended) looks like he just did the Nestea plunge into a pile of multi-colored pillows.

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Who taught you to count?

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDenise396

I snickered until I got to Cthulhu. Then I spewed out Diet Dr. Pepper. Madness indeed.

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJerry

The first turkey looks like he's doing a little dance too. A dancing, bank robbing turkey. Hello Thanksgiving!

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthe Provident Woman

the headdress on Cthulu!!! Roaring with laughter.

I bow to your comic genious. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Lili Effect

Okay, Rio Turkey, as I'll call him, actually looks kind of nice to me. I think that scares me.

OMG! I LOVE Cthulu turkey! That's awesome. I mean, it's awesomely bad, but it's totally awesome that you actually called it Cthulu. You're awesome. (I think I've had too much caffine today).

And lastly.... SPOON!

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

hee hee... Spoon.

These are even better (worse) than yesterday!!!
Wreck on!!

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

(Spoon) looks like a pretty good depiction of what the muppet beaker would look like with a red afro.

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

Thank you for Cthulu Turkey!

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJill

intestinal fortitude seriously grossed me out!

Lechelle
www.kellyandlechelle.com (hoping to adopt)

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLechelle

The mushroom cloud looks like Beaker with an afro. Meep meee meeep.

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi D

Rarely can I find looking at cakes so very unappetizing. Should post these on my fridge door as a diet aid.

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

I do kind of want a Cthulu cake. Do you think that, if I ordered one, it would look like a turkey?

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJairus Durnett

The 3rd one reminds me of Beaker

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJust Jim

Seriously? These are just frightening! That last one looks like a octo-turkey!

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNotAlwaysCharming

Your counting seems a bit off there...

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJameson Brown

There is nothing like intestinal cake.

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Chick!

that anthropomorphic mushroom cloud looks a whole lot like Beaker with an afro

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

The last one looks like an alien from Cocoon with the bright aura around, jajajajajaja

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDeray

Is it weird if I heard this in the voice of Cousin Eddie from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation ("cuz this is gettin' gooood")? ... No? ... okay then :-)

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

Hey, isn't that first one the NBC network logo?? Or, perhaps, the elusive "pearky" (or as they say in southeast Asia... "Turcock" (turkey/peacock hybrid).

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow.

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeserlee

Call me crazy but the one thing I love about those CCC is the amount of icing they are able to pile on to 1 single little round of cake.

Viva la wrecktastic icing overload!!

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLove Of The Hunt

SPOON!!! it's the battle cry of flatware everywhere!
and also, cthulu. IN THE SAME POST! my head might just explode from all of the awesome.

my captch is....whobowel, as in..."whobowel is responsible for the poo turkey?!"

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertangeria

I love the numbering system. And I think the last one looks more like Pthoolhu, if you know what I mean.

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

okay, seriously I sat that looking at spoon for forever trying to make sense of the sentence. When I finally realized it was "number" spoon, I about fell out of my chair laughing. I heart you Jen!

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGiana

I lost it at "Spoon."

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCourtney

Why are the 1st two turkeys flipping me the finger?

And the 3rd looks like a Muppet.

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpeaches1111_00

Cthulu with an Indian headress! That's awesome!

wv - suche - These "cakes" are suche a waste.

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercyn

I vote for the Cthulhu cake! Why choose a lesser evil?

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFamous Hat

You know what part made me bust out laughing?

Spoon.

I'm still sitting here at work giggling about it. They're going to start wondering about me.

Spoon.

LOL!

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCyndi

um, Jen, not to nitpick, but won't the library slightly frown upon the fans stocking up on their copies of Cake Wrecks?? either that, or that's one sucky present if you have to return it to the library...

:)

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is it just me or does number Spoon look like Carrot Top?

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPooh's Pics

SPOOOON!

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStrista

My 3 yr old son thinks the mushroom cloud one looks like Elmo. He refuses to belive it's not Elmo.

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

But if he's a bank robber, why is *he* sticking up his cute little twig arms in the air? Well, I suppose it would go with the slipping 'kerchief. Maybe he just got busted by one of those redneck-shotgun-shell-wedding-cakes.

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

First loved meeting you in atlanta.
second, my co-worker think i am insane. i was laughing at spoon and demon snuffleupagus... from Rio when i saw the Cthulhu!
will you come and help me out, the people in the white coats are not very nice.

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCooking Monster

spoon. hilar!
-moochmom

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thos of us of a certain age saw that first one and thought, "The following is brought to you in Living Color on NBC!"

And the last one looks like Our Turkey of Guadalupe...

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

How many people actually have *cake* for Thanksgiving anyway? And CCC, at that?

The sheer amount of icing on these is enough to make me gag, and I've always been of the "icing is the best part" school of cake enjoyment.

November 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElissa

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