Tassel Hassles
June 29, 2009 Hey, look! Amber went back to school!
Looks like her folks are still using the same bakery, though. (Piles of dead leaves are such a "hassel", aren't they?)
This next Wreck sees Amber's "hassel", and raises it a "taffle":
If only it had been in quotes - "taffle" would leave so much more romper-room for the imagination, don't you think?
Speaking of lots of room, Courtney M. asked the bakery for a Star Wars graduation cake, and this is what she got:
Well, Courtney, there is a lot of space...in space. So, you know, it could be a metaphor.
Where some Wreckerators call it a day after a lime-headed Yoda and a plastic grad cap, though, others keep going, and going, and...
...going.1) What are you congratulating math for?
2) Does that inscription really say "this book is for smart people only please donoot atemple to open if you are not smart"?
It does? Ok, then my next question is...
3) For the love of crossed-out-but-not-corrected spelling errors, why? I mean, wouldn't only the really dumb people try to open a cake that only resembles a book in that it is somewhat flat and rectangular? Or am I over thinking this? (Don't answer that, Wreckies; I'm talking to the decorator here.)
Jess K's mom ordered a graduation cake for her brother. To keep it simple, she asked for the cake to read "Woo-hoo Tommy!" Instead, she got:
Unintentionally appropriate with a side of sneering sarcasm. I like it.
Sabrina S., Jess G., & Maureen, you each get a gold star beside your name on my monitor. (Granted, this may make typing a little more diggifult, but fortunetly I learned to typr by touch.)
Reader Comments (86)
I think that Yoda is cute!
Ooohhhh. Those are abysmal!
VW: rudinput
I have some rudinput for these people who can't spell or follow directions.
I think math is being congratulated on finally shortening the quadratic equation. Instead of "x= + or -b, times the square root of 4ac, all over 2a, it is now simply =+squareroot. Nice.
Erin
ROFLOL! That's hilarious, I wonder if Cake Bakeries around the world wait for girls named Amber to come, order a cake, so they can wreck it....
Also I think you have that second cake entirely wrong, you see Rhianna just graduated from a vocational school, see? Oh you don't? Well She went to a Candy Making college, with a masters in the taffy-puller. So that cake was supposed to say "The Taffy's worth the hassle" yeah......... That's it....
The only thing that would make that math book cake better would be if it were a CCC!
tassel, hassel, taffle--don't worry, who'll ever notice, but the math thing is just uggggly.
Boo Hoo, indeed! But at least he got sprinkles.
I think I shall forever ponder a Taffle's worth.
Who even knew that "the tassels worth the hassle" was even a graduation saying commonly known. Maybe it's only "shared" in the cake wrecking community.
On the first one: since the whole phrase is in quotes and obviously they're quoting SOMEONE since someone...ah...attempted the same phrase on the next cake, are the quotes REALLY that wrong on the first one...?
I mean there's plenty of other things wrong, like how it's feeding time for the leeches up in the corner! I'm just not really having a problem with the quotes.
I AM having a problem with congratulating Math! Why does no one want to congratulate Physics!?
...I just don't understand why we are congratulating math. What did math do for me lately?
Boo-hoo Tommy...so-what? He didn't graduate? LOL
The second cake is clearly using the f-shaped ligature-s, fashionable in the 18th century. Thanks, wrongly-maligned wreckorator, for keeping archaic but still-classy font choices alive!
Perhaps Tommy didn't actually get the diploma, which would make the boo-hoo appropriate. Either way, poor Tommy.
These are truly awful! You didn't even mention the weird scribbles-that-could-be words on the bottom of the math cake! What is that? "nadondoom"??
At least the tassel wasn't worth a Hasselhoff cake.
Notice the 6 on the Math cake looks like a chewed up piece of gum?
I just love the Boo hoo Tommy cake. I think that one deserves to be made into a wreckerators apron.
I love the math cake. Love it. But the one that really got me was Tommy's. I laughed, I cried. It was like a Broadway play without the music. Fabulous!
wv: poksp- This generation's Great Gatsby. The entire thing takes place on Facebook.
These are so wonderfully terrible.
I am glad you spelled out the writting on the math cake, my head couldn't take looking at it that closely.
Becky
Jayspec is right on the theory. Although it's not a ligature-s, it's a Long S. I formed a currently ſolo movement to reſtore the uſe of Long S to common language. The only reaſon it was abandoned to begin with is that printers were lazy and cheap. So I've ſtarted uſing it in daily writing where appropriate. many of my more learned friends underſtand and have no problem with it. Others ask me why I'm writing Fs inſtead of Ss :)
Jen, you did it again, left me speechless! "lime-green Yoda head" LOL too funny! I find myself quoting you in the announcer voice from the Muppet Show, "Space In SSSSPPPPAAAAAAAAACCCEEE!"
At least Tommy got sprinkles!
I do NOT want to know what's on the first cake. It looks like...well, I won't say but it's just barftastic.
I think that's the cutest Yoda ever! Just make him a little bigger and voila!
It's too bad about the boo hoo cake. It's actually very tastefully done and looks quite festive.
Wreck on!
I hope Amber went to the University of Texas, because there is no ohter reason for that color of brownorange.
WV: drati. What some recipients of these wrecks say when they see the cake.
"Boo Hoo" cake is FUNNY!
The orange one that just doesn't stop? Oh. My. Heck. Love it. I'd laugh so hard if I got a cake that busy with words...even if the words made sense. Bwa ha ha!
At least the Wreckerator responsible for the "Boo-hoo Tommy" cake has excellent cake-handwriting. (Is there a word for "cake-handwriting"?) The mistake looks much classier that way.
I got my own space... in space. Boosh Boosh Boosh! :D
It's seeming more and more obvious that bakeries should require a dictionary..or several..in the kitchen at all times!
~Amy B.
Boo hoo Tommy, that is my favorite.
Perhaps the recepient of the "Math" cake is of Welsh decent, and was named after http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Math_fab_Mathonwy" rel="nofollow">Math fab Mathonwy. Or something.
The Math one is nauseating....
Long time lurker, first time commenter.
Wow... That wreck was so bad I never even got to see it.
I guess its better that way. I mean they shouldn't make fun a persons FAFFLE! I may studder alot but a cake is just mean!
I'd love to get the "Boo-Hoo" cake for my nephew, Tommy, who is a very sensitive soul. Poor kid cries at everything.
Not to echo the other Melinda (I need an avatar to clear up any Melinda confusion), but the Boo-Hoo Tommy cake was my absolute favorite. I was reading along grinning until I got to that one, then I burst out laughing.
wv: Bleth, what the wreckerator wrote on Beth's graduation cake.
Oh my, the math cake...just...oh my.
jayspec said...
"The second cake is clearly using the f-shaped ligature-s, fashionable in the 18th century."
***********************
Okay...I'll bite. WHY, then, is the word "Hassel" NOT making use of the same type of "s"? Both words are on the same cake, for corn's sake.
Wait! Wait! I know: the cake was STARTED in the 18th century, and FINISHED in the 20th.
Yah?
Obviously looking up the word "hassle" in the dictionary was too much of a bother too.
Hassel was a Norwegian scientist. Yep, that's just what I'd want on my cake.
I, for one, am not likely to try and OPEN a math cake...at least not until I've checked it out of the Librarakery.
I prefer Pi anyway.
>^ee^<
I think the Math cake is hideous, but it does have some promise. I think the scribbles are attempting to illustrate a corrected paper by a teacher. I think the cake is attempting some sort of mental flashback of 12 years of school. Still VERY poorly executed.
Jen,
How about bad TWILIGHT cakes?? That would be awesome! Or maybe a Twilight Sunday Sweets?
Personally, I'm smart enough to not try to open a math book after college... much less a math CAKE. Yikes.
Altho, if all the math books were really made of cake, I might have done better in calculus.
wv: genne
The Genne was obviously not paying attention when these people wished for non-wrecked cakes.
Amber's and Christian's cakes both have a mortarboard-on-a-black-saucer thing going on--what's up with that? Since WHEN do mortarboards have BRIMS on them?
It looks weird.
I mean this sincerely: aside from that small glitch, the cakes are truly lamentable.
I really want to know how the decorators even let these abominations leave the store!
The Yoda one is hilarious just because of the weirdly placed "decorations" and the lettering that gets bigger and smaller throughout...
WV: raxobarf -- these cakes must have come from raxobarf.
I have not laughed this hard in two months.
Maybe the wreckerator of the "taffle" cake was using the Long S letter, common in English until it became an obsolete letter some 150 years ago. "Taſſle" reads the same "tassle" in this regard.
On a related note, because it's in your comments:
Is there a difference between Wreckers and Wreckies? Like with the Star Treck people? Some of us just enjoy Cake Wrecks and know the terminology and can reference our favorites, and some of us go driving from bakery to bakery searching for Wrecks, and even attend conventions dressed up as our favorite Wreck? If so, I believe that my invitation to the last Cake-Con was lost in the mail. I *totally* would have come as a naked baby on a carrot.
I'm hurt, guys... really hurt.
"Boo Hoo Tommy" made me laugh til I cried! Maybe the Wreckerator was combining "Woo Hoo!" and "Boo Yah!"??? Ok, mebbe not.
wv: huralls (slang) combination of "Hurray" and "Y'alls".
MalMal said...
"... I *totally* would have come as a naked baby on a carrot."
*********************
And would you be sporting a Mohawk haircut as well?
I'll ask this, too (as long as we're riding the train to Fantasy Land): Where would you get a big enough carrot to ride in on?
Ahhh...the images cavorting in my mind (of a carnival-like atmosphere for a "Wreckies" convention) are MORE than tantalizing...!
=^~,~^=
I apologize in advance. I can't resist.
in best Barbie voice
"Math is hard!"
*withering sigh*
In partial defense of a mostly indefensible wrecktastic cake, my partner's name is Math, so that is one plausible possibility for the "why?" question.
-Rosalie