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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
May152009

Ponder If You Will...

Sometimes, looking at all the photos you guys send in, I'm presented with one of life's little mysteries.

For example, how is it that we live in a world where these are supposed to be guitars...

(Love the random tree. Because when you think "electric guitar",
naturally you think "nature.")


(Thank goodness Wreckerators are starting to put miniature plastic versions of what
the CCC* is supposed to be
on the CCC*. It's quite sporting of them to give us
a hint.)

(Here, there, and everywhere: hip, hip, it's hip to be square!)

...but this is not?


Hey, kudos to the decorator for trying to get some more mileage out of his or her guitar-shaped cake pan, but really...Really? A beer bottle? Really?

Freya F., Jill B., & Joe C., really.

* Patooey! (Just a friendly reminder to always cleanse your palate after uttering the foul name of the dreaded cupcake-cake.)

« Demons of "Stupity" | Main | Chuck Norris, Bakery Defender »

Reader Comments (108)

The first one looks like a ghost impaled on some huge black pole. But how can it be impaled? I mean, it's a ghost!

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda's Minutes

Okay, the first one looks way too much like a dead ghost (yeah, I know) with a board up its *ahem*.

My seven year old could do better.

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKashmir

Oh goodness! When I saw the top picture, I thought it was a sword-swallowing elephant! (and, given that scenario, the tree would make more sense. Jen - are you *sure* it's supposed to be a guitar??)

Jo UK

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJohanna

Patooey! Too bad there isn't a mental ccc[patooey] cleansing method.
I think I've seen a square guitar like that on at least a few hastily-drawn cartoons years ago...but none of them were blue.

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterskatej

I like how the ONLY one to look like a guitar they're trying to pass off as a bottle.

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterE.E.King

That's not an electric guitar. It's OBVIOUSLY an upside down jelly fish....

...next to a tree.... yeah... duh.

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBilby P. Dalgyte

No no no! You've got it all wrong!
Number 3 is a Vincent Van Gogh painting, and number 1 is an out of water flying sting ray (man, those critters evolved FAST!)

:)

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOlivia

Way funny.
That first one still has me quite confused.

Love your blog. Cannot wait for the book!!

Keep up the good work bringin' all these wrecks to us!

Thanks!!

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCALpumper

You know, a little carving, and that bottle would have worked...

WF: impir- Warning, reading Cake Wrecks may impir your ability to get anything else done.

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

PS. Is that a real thumb or a fake thumb on the bottom of the pink nightmare picture?

(either answer, it's creeepy!)

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOlivia

I was going to say Bowling Pin on that last one.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

I had never even dreamed of a CCC until I found this site. Eeeek! Who thought this was less hassle than decorating (and cutting) a cake?

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAuntie Meme

With the tree in the first picture, the guitar looks like a hole filled shovel with strings for a handle.

The hannah montana wreck does look a bit like a violin. At least they made an *instrument* that time. :-P

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina M.

It's a shame, because if the guitar-beer decorator had just trimmed the bottom od the side of the guitar...er...bottle, those little cake chunks would have made a couple of nice lime wedges to accompany.

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I made a guitar shaped cake once... but it actually LOOKED like a guitar... these are kinda funny!

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzy

Oh dear. I shall be posting a guitar tomorrow. Timely or what! I must remember to refashion it to a beer bottle. Thanks for the hint!
Cheers

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaddy

Bahaha! I had no idea *Patooey* was used for palate cleansing! I thought it way merely a was to dis' CCCs. (Too funny!!)

Next time I'm at my Mom's and she tries to feed me peas (bleah!) I'll *Patooey* the little buggers all over the floor!

wv: groussem - peas are REALLY groussem; they make me go *Patooey*!

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrish

Yes! Huey Lewis and the News reference!

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermickie

The second "guitar" reminds me of Prince's guitar -- the shape of his symbol as The Artist Formerlly Known As Prince.
But I don't know a lot of Prince fans who are also Hannah Montana fans. Which is too bad.

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjanelle

No, no, you've got the first one wrong. It's clearly a rocketship crashing down toward the earth! The tree is there to let us know that it's not blasting off and therefore the wreckerator didn't put the lettering upside down.

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

I was trying to figure out if the first one used the phrase "Yo Happy Birthday" to give it more rockitude. Seriously, at least five minutes trying to explain to myself why "Yo," why no punctuation, and why, when there's plenty of extra white space on this cake, the first two words run together.

Then I realized that the H was just too dang ornate.

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkid-lit-fan

Those are some wild cakes, Jen! Keep the wrecks comin'!

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenniffer

The first cake does appear to be a mangled attempt at a guitar. However, taking the tree into consideration I would conclude this must be a cakey representation of a UFO crash landing (and therefore upside-down) in a forest...a very small forest...you know, the kind with only one tree...yeah. Who wouldn't want a cake like that?

Love the blog, btw, keep up the good work!

H.

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

for some reason, #1 puts me in mind of the Plain White... Trees?

no, wait....never mind. :)

obviously this site has super bakers reading- i LOVE their ideas for making the beer cake vastly better!

wv: nomichme

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura R

lol... my mouth dropped when I saw the first cake wreck. Wow, that's not even close to looking like a guitar. Sucks for the person that ordered that cake wreck of a cake.

Raychel from mycreativeway.blogspot.com

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRaychel

My friends and I made our first fondant/creative cake attempt for my friend Jake's birthday in December. He's in a band, so we made him a guitar cake. It turned out much better, minus the fact that we didn't have a big enough plate so we used a tote lid hahaha...
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30457483&l=a6e6562dc8&id=1270800068

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpyraterose

Did they *airbrush* #3? And then write the greeting on the cake board? How lazy are wreckerators getting these days??

WV: trofst. The wreckerator always says, "Trofst me!"

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCakey Goodness

The blue "guitar" cake reminds me of making a guitar out of a kleenex box, a ruler and some rubber bands as a kid....

Ah, memories.

Matt is a naturalist. That explains the tree and the rare creature on his cake. So rare, that perhaps only Matt can identify it.

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwundermary

cake 1 looks like a crashing alien spaceship.

wv: phandedq - I completely agree with your phandedq attitude towards CCC's (patooey!).

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

nice about your blog man yo!!
:D
yummy........

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPecuron

Love the nod to Huey Lewis!!

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Personally, I love the Hannah Montana cake. It makes me think of those Halloween costumes you could buy at K-Mart when I was a kid:
"Look, I'm Spider-Man! You can tell because I have this cool mask and a picture of Spider-Man on my chest...but Spider-Man doesn't have a picture of himself on his chest because that would lead to an infinite regress."

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJ.P.

Everyone loves beer cake. Mmm, delicious.

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkarmapearl

The truly sad thing about all these cakes is that you just KNOW that somewhere out there, when the cake was presented, there were people who thought it was "sooo cool!!"

tsk tsk tsk
I am loosing my faith in people

Meow!
http://kitty-cakes.blogspot.com/

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterROYALTY

I agree w/Miranda's Minutes. The first reminded me of a ghost, but I don't know what the things coming out of it's "mouth" are.

Maybe the decorators were trying to make the guitars look like what The Who's guitars looked like post-smashing!

~Amy B.
wv: "faked" Looks like these guitar cakes are faked..

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

That square one reminds me of Bo Diddley and his guitars. Not that I think for one minute that the wreckerator is that hip... I also vote jellyfish for the first one.

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMrs Peel

Well, the third one is OBVIOUSLY an homage to Bo Diddley! (Or at least I hope so...)

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWinona

The first thing I see when looking at the first specimen is a small, fat, gray airplane with different-sized windows (for 1st class, 2nd class, and "you didn't pay for a view") Smoke is streaming out the back--it is ready to crash into the ground. (!pop!)
Hope the tree doesn't catch fire!
2nd cake: pink amoeba. A DESIGNER pink amoeba. Aimed at the tween set, who are welcome to it.
3rd cake: No idea, but it may require medical attention to stop the bleeding.
4th cake: Putrid-looking thing, that.
The photo is fuzzy. The details are wobbly and *just a tad* "off."
My guess at what happened here: they baked the cake, but didn't have a real bottle to use as a model to frost it by, because they'd already drunk every one in the house, turned in the empties, then came back to decorate the damn thing.

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

"I was trying to figure out if the first one used the phrase "Yo Happy Birthday" to give it more rockitude. Seriously, at least five minutes trying to explain to myself why "Yo," why no punctuation, and why, when there's plenty of extra white space on this cake, the first two words run together.

Then I realized that the H was just too dang ornate."-------
I did the exact same thing. I am glad that I am not alone haha. It puzzled me for quite some time before I finally figured it out.

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAli

"While my guitar gently weeps..."

^..^

WV sarri: These are some pretty sarri cakes today!

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTigerwolf

Wow... the thing that gets me about the Hannah Montana cake is that they have a physical mini guitar to model it off of, and STILL can't get it right!

A people need to stop trying to squish guitars into boxes. It doesn't work.

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDawn

Couldn't the Corona decorator have used the guitar-shaped pan, then TRIMMED the extra parts to MAKE it more bottle-shaped? I guess that would take too much effort.

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

ahahah the airbrush overspray on the blue monstrosity! So pro.

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle S.

lol, I always imagine a horse whinneying after someone utters CCC, like in Young Frankenstein!

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfuglyfuglyfugly

Is that JESUS inside the guitar on the first CCC????

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAjhorse21

The first one is for a fan of the television show "Lost"--it's Oceanic flight 815 hitting the island for the first time--or second, or third time which happened before the first time after they traveled through time...whatever. I'm sure the purchaser of this delight wished they could travel back in time.

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I really think the next Cake Wrecks t-shirt should say something like (FRONT) CCC Wreck* with a pic of the CCC wreck of choice and then (BACK) *Patooey! I know you already have one hilarious CCC shirt on the site, but why not have two? Come on Jen, make us one!

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

The first one definitely looks like a rocketship/bomb crashing to Earth.

The Hanna Montana one looks like one of those plastic, electronic, guitar wannabes that you buy for toddlers to make annoying sounds on.

The square "guitar" is the most hideous thing I've ever seen! They even airbrushed black all around the outside! Well, at least they gave it six strings which all mysteriously attach themselves to the machine heads!

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne Dargie

In the past couple of months I have had a few people request CCC's and I refuse to make them. They're generally easy to sway over to a nicer cake to be made. When they ask why I won't make CCC's I say , I certainly could make them, and very well, but I have too much pride in my work to stoop to that level of cake decorating.

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

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