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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Mar182009

Carrot Jockeys Make Excellent Ground Troops

I make no bones about my bid for Wrecky World Domination, and I think you'll all agree that Cake Wrecks is an excellent model for government. [insert joke about Wrecky administrations here]

Anyway, I can tell my evil plan is working, in part, by the number of Carrot Jockeys successfully infiltrating society at large. Here are just a few of the NMBCJ sitings I've had reported:

Here they are flying/gallivanting in classic carrot formation through Mallory H.'s home...

Spreading spelling errors in Ann S.'s...

Terrorizing Jennifer and Krista in their "stealth CCC" mode...

Circling up for a little Jockey powwow over at Maggie H.'s...


And even easing the pain of "workforce reduction" over at Ryan J.'s.*

You know how ELSE I can tell my bid for Wrecky World Domination is working? By winning all three Bloggies Cake Wrecks was nominated for at the Ninth Annual Weblog Awards on Monday. That's right, my loyal wrecky henchpersons, thanks to you Cake Wrecks is "officially" the Best New Blog, Best Writing of a Blog, and Best Food Blog** of 2008. Woot woot!

Next stop: Disneyland. That's right; I shall not rest until I've ridden the Matterhorn enough times to make myself physically ill. And that, my friends, is a campaign promise. [nodding seriously]

*In case you're wondering what that is, Ryan explains "We had trouble finding anything like the babies from the infamous cake screw-up, so we used a rubber fetus we had laying around. Don't ask me why we have a rubber fetus hanging around." Roger on that, Ryan; I won't ask.

** As sweet as victory is, the fact is I've never considered CW a "Food Blog", and feel undeserving each time an award site places it in that category. So allow me to to give a shout-out to the other, more appropriate, nominees in that category. If you like to cook, or even to just read about people who do, check them out:

Chocolate & Zucchini

The Pioneer Woman Cooks (Also the winner of Best Blog of the Year. If you haven't already, go see what all the buzz is about. )

Smitten Kitchen

Bakerella (The one, the only.)


« They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha Haa! | Main | Funny »

Reader Comments (105)

Wow. Just ... yikes. I KNOW it's the stuff of nightmares, but I think I'm going to need therapy after that CCC.

But hey! Congratulations on the awards!!

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

I read yesterday that you had won in all nominated categories. Congrats three times over!

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSue

Love them all, but the last one looks like a penis sprouting from a chile relleno.

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJeanne

Congratulations on all points! I adore your blog. You are that to which I aspire.

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKashmir

The cupcake monster looks strangely like Jabba the Hut.

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKendra

I hate all these cakes so. much. Except, guess what? The CCC is actually the least nasty to me this time around; the person looks more like a skeleton, and somehow a skeleton riding a carrot is less disturbing than a naked baby riding a carrot.

Never thought I'd even ponder the possibilities...

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDangGina

I have to go back and remember the first carrot riding babies.

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkyooty

Oh those are great, but the first 2 lacked the most important carrot jockey element... the mohawk!! Get it right wreckers ;)

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterValGal

http://www.yemiipic.com/russian-cake-art.html

not related to the jockeys, but interesting stuff.

kristyn

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I suspect that the "Birfday" is an intentional misspelling, probably an inside joke.

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdmontag

"Penis sprouting from a chile relleno"

That just made my morning!

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterN.starluna

birf-day...never seen it spelled wrong that way!

http://gifoftheday.blogspot.com/" REL="nofollow">Daily gif blog

DB

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDoublebanker

Not being familiar with this strange concept of babies riding carrots, I too thought that was a penis poking out in the last pic.

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDave

You know, the Powwow cake looks more like a hot tub party to me!

I have several friends on the web who do "happy Birfday," so I think that was actually intentional.

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Congratulations!!!!! :)

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTruly Hideous Gifts

WOW, a lot of babies riding carrots. HMMMM, who's idea was that. They should be fired for that one. YIKES, hilarious. I would cry if I was given a cake like that.

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDustythemomhaskins

Love the carrot jockeys! It's always been a favorite of mine. However, I am disturbed by the CCC, not only because it is a CCC, but the baby is terrifying! WTH? However, I do applaud the ingenuity of both the CCC and the rubber fetus since they couldn't find any naked mohawk babies. It's the thought that counts.
wv: rellyze I didn't "rellyze" the last one was a rubber fetus at first.

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie H

I first thought that Ryan's cake looked like a kayaking fetus. After reading Jeanne's comment, I can't see anything but a chile rellenis. Hahahaha!

Once again, this site is better than coffee for keeping the morning moving!

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That CCC made me laugh SO HARD just now! It's a good way to start the day!

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelley Marie

Normally I might be amused by the laid off cake, except I was just downsized. Now it's just sad I didn't get a cake. And I don't know who first created the baby-riding-on-a-carrot-theme, but it's equally funny and disturbing to look at.

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdigital sage

Now I want to see a kitten on a tomato.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Congratulations! I for one am excited for Wrecky World Domination! :)

Long live Jen! Long live the Carrot Jockeys! ;)

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

Uh...
Oh, no...
Carrot babies, again! (run away screaming) :-p

~Amy B

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Congratulations on the awards! Well-deserved in all categories, for sure. I look forward to a "wrecky" update in my blog reader every morning!

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRBG

You know I've got all this leftover fondant and gum paste from my Wilton classes...I'm never going to use the fondant because it's the nastiest thing in the world next to chile rellenos sprouting man parts.
I think I'll try making some NMBCJ's out of it and decorating a cake with them. Why the heck not.

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

way to go!


...and thanks for mentioning the other blogs, for they are all pretty much awesome as well! :)

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBridget

Yes definitely "birfday" is a joke, we always say (and write) that in our family.

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

As one of my favorite wrecks ever, how could I not love all these wanna-be NMBCJs?! But honestly, that CCC? Best. Wreck. EVER. Do you suppose it really was for a girl named Jenn, or that it was an homage to you, purposely spelled incorrectly?!

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSheryl

The CCC looks like a demented um...goblin...thing...yeah....Jeanne makes me want to go take a second look at the rellonis....

-Amy

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Congratulations, Jen!! Have fun on the Matterhorn! :D :D

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMandee

Congrats on the awards! Very well deserved! Your site provides so many laughs!

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLose That Girl

um.....is this business of putting babies on carrots something particularly American? We don't have anything QUITE like them in England. In fact, we don't have ANYTHING like them. I'm confused. Elucidation please.

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterExit, pursued by a Bear

Congrats on the awards! We love your blog!

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

I'm just not understanding naked infants on carrots ....

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

kakistocracy is (and I'm not making this up) "Government by the least qualified or most unprincipled citizens."

Clearly a cakeistocracy would be a huge improvement. Plus edible.

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Toepfer

Is that a prescription bottle in the upper left hand corner of the first photo? Do you need drugs to wreckerate a cake? The garbage left lying around the cake is distracting. Hope next time they clear the clutter before trying to showcase their billiant talent.

When you look at the Birfday cake do you see Happy 4Dth, not 40th?

Jen, "Congradulations" on the three awards!!! Love reading your blog - what a wonderful way to start my day!

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Congrats! On both your awards and your world domination. I'll be behind you on it!

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkara

Congrats!!! Congrats!! Congrats!!

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNihilady

So, these are all tribute cakes, right?

The 40th Birfday cake seems especially like it was done that way intentionally.

And I cannot imagine someone else coming up with NMBCJ on their own without having read this blog.

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarolyn

I've been in a Catholic church which has those little rubber fetuses out in the vestibule to take as a reminder about the sacredness of life and how we must all fight against the murder that is abortion. They come with a little note card. I picked one up to see if I could use it as an eraser.

No go. :(

Just so you know.

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

wow - congrats to you!! I know I voted for you. :)

These are wonderfully wreckish, but...I want to know what a "4D birfday" is. I mean, I'm glad it's happy, but I'm working with all manner of odd imagery here.

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermadrobins

I think the Birfday was intentional. It also says 4Dth...

Or maybe I'm wrong and they wrote 41 and had to change it to 40.

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

HaHa, I thought I was the only one who saw the perscription bottle. Any guesses as to what's in it?

Congrats!

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjojo

Congrats on the awards!
Oh man, this is so whiny, but I'm a little sad my NMBCJ/poison birthday cake is not here with its brethren.
On the other hand, that CCC NMBCJ is completely priceless.
Wreckers are everywhere! :D

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMugsie

My husband LOVED his intentional wreck! (#2 in the post)

@ ValGal - I wanted the babies with the mohawks, but all I could find were the ones with normal hair.

@ Anonymous (12:24) - yes, it says 4D, instead of 40. It was an intentional misspelling.

I'm sure the fine bakery crew at my Costco thought the person (me) who ordered that cake was nuts.

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterchefann

I saw a cake covered in regular unridden carrots yeterday, and immediately thought of you.

plus I've been in a Catholic church which has those little rubber fetuses out in the vestibule to take as a reminder.

That is the weirdest thing I've seen all week. And I spend a lot of time on the internet.

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

very creative.Fred Smilek is the acting president of the Society to Save Endangered Species. It was founded two years ago by Fred Smilek along with his two best friends Charles and Jonathan. http://www.fredjsmilek.com

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am an American and I am as baffled with babies riding carrots as anybody else in the world. That is very strange imagery indeed. Someone please explain it.

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Omg, I absolutely LOVE the one for Jenn, with the baby made of frosting and toothpicks. That is so freakishly cute.

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCallisto

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