Pool Wars

"If you only knew the POWER [squeak] of the Dark Side. JOIN ME [squeak] and we can [squeeeeak] RULE the... [squeaksqueaksqueakSPLASH!]

"I find your lack of balance...disturbing.

"Towel?"

Thanks to Angel K. for the splishin' and the splashin'.

...and so fourth

Note from john (the hubby of Jen): Today's post is from 4 years ago and is surprisingly appropriate with Jen's current state of ickiness. Hope you like it. Jen should be back soon.

With Jen currently sprawled on the couch surrounded by remotes and souped up on Darvoset, I figured it would be nice of me not to make her write a post today. She still has to make dinner of course - hey, it's not like it's gonna make itself! - but sometimes sacrifices like these are required to make a marriage work. ("Hey babe? Those potatoes are looking a little lumpy...Just sayin'.")

But seriously, *heh* we've gotten a whole bunch of Fourth of July cakes and it would be a shame not to share them. "Would you say we have a plethora of cakes?" you ask. Si, Elguapo, si.

Allow me to start with what I like to call a "wait...what?" cake:

Let's take it step by step here:

1. Start with an airbrush. 'Cuz ya gos ta show off yo mad skillz.

2. Realize you don't know how to do anything but wonky lines with said airbrush.

3. Pull out trusty icing bag and try to fake us all out with hastily splooged border and stars.

4. Add red, white and blue sprinkles to distract viewers from step #2.

Next we have donuts:

Yes, doughnuts. Because they were feeling left out of all the patriotic splooging. On a side note, I've seen my share of brightly colored icing before but this stuff makes me want to chuck it in a lead barrel and bury it in a mountain somewhere.

Remember the days when decorators would at least try to make a CCC (hwok...hwok...snort...ptooie!) look like something?

Pepperidge Farms remembers. I particularly like the blue over spray on the cake board here for that extra special "Meh, who gives a flying squirrel?"* touch.

And finally,

If you think I'm going to touch this with a ten-foot pole, you've got another think coming.**

Thanks to Sarah C., Lesli W., Gilian, and Amy G.and everyone else for bearing with us on Jen's day of woozyloopytudeness. She should be back soon - same bat time, same bat channel - so stay tuned.

*See? Look how family-friendly I am!

**Ok, never mind.