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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Oct012009

The Dish on Denver

For those of you wondering about all these extra posts I'm putting up this week, allow me to explain.

No, no, there is too much. Let me "sum up."

1. John and I are on a book tour for Cake Wrecks, the book.
2. Uh...actually, that's about it.

On Tuesday we got to visit The Tattered Cover in Denver, where we fought oxygen deprivation in the thin air and managed to get at least one guy in the crowd to look excited:

Thanks, Nils.

Actually, what's happened here is that long bouts of uncontrollable laughter have rendered everyone nearly catatonic with pleasure. [polishing fingernails] Yep, me and John, we have what you might call "the gift."

Adding to the fun were the oh-so-yummy cupcakes, provided by Porche of Lovely Confections:


(I had a few of these with breakfast the next morning. So. Good.)

Here we have Kaiti, Kelly, and Christine, our cupcake Wreckplica contest "winners":

Lookin' good, girls!
And their entries:

Kaiti's flaming pile of...fruit.

Kelly's popped-eye sailor blob.

And Christine's monkey-boy!

Here are a few more of my favorites:

This one made me laugh; I love the French butterfly!

E.T.!!

A rodeo carrot jockey. Excellent.

You can see all of the entries in the Facebook album here.

And one last thing: I'd like to apologize to the last 20 or so of you in the signing line that night; we had to rush because the store was closing (well, had been closed for 25 minutes, actually) and so we didn't get the chance to chat with you as much as we wanted to. I'm very sorry about that, and I hope you each still had fun!

Thursday
Oct012009

Adowable Widdle Wrecks

Sometimes I see cakes that are so undeniably Wrecky that I'm almost ashamed of myself for thinking they're cute. I'm not sure how such a thing is possible, either - are they flukes? Slips of the piping bags? The inevitable result of a million Wreckerators working on a million cupcakes? The world may never know. Or care.

Who's a cute widdle turd!?

Sure, it may look like a pile of poo on the banks of the Jungle Cruise*, but it's actually supposed to be a cat. Or maybe a lion. With a monkey tail. Regardless, see how the decorator compels us to overlook its blatant turdiness with his/her skillful application of puppy...cat eyes?

* Explanation for Non-Disney Geeks - See, the water on the Jungle Cruise ride at Disney is often dyed a shocking shade of blue-green. I think you have to be decontaminated if you fall in.**

**Follow-up from Jen: Puh-lease, "decontaminated"? It's just a little tetanus shot.


This next one makes use of the "two-cupcakes-drowning-in-icing-on-an-oversized-cakeboard" approach:

See? It's a cow. Or maybe ground beef. ("What do you call a cow with no legs, Alex?") Or Beef Stroganoff. ("A cow with noodles for legs?")

How can I tell it's a cow, and not a spotted dog with an awesome bouffant 'do sitting on a robot*? By reading the "moo" in the barren desert of cake board, that's how. [tapping temple] Skills. I gots 'em.

*Picture the nostrils as eyes for a minute - you'll see it. (Note: alcohol helps.)

Here's another one, fortified with rich, healthy irony:

An embarrassed skunk letting out a little toot, or a Wreckerator letting out a little workplace aggression? More importantly: which makes you hungrier?

Next is a real fluke; it's both the Wreckiest and the cutest cake for today:

A Wreckerator sets out to make a frog and ends up with a sloppy cross-eyed face with jowls, and yet it's still adorable? Now that's luck. (Dig the candle horns.)

And finally we have what appears to be a cross between a mutant rubber ducky and Angelina Jolie:

Sorry, sorry; I know that's kind of mean. I shouldn't malign rubber duckies like that.

Thanks to Wreckporters Tim, Megan, Kristi M., Leigh S., and Linden S.!

- Related Wreckage: Hello, Kitty?

TOUR REMINDER: Hey, Chicago! Come see Jen and John tonight at the Barnes & Noble in Skokie (the Old Orchard Cener) at 7:30PM. It'll be fun. Promise.