Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Mar152013

I'm Irish, But Don't You Dare Kiss Me

 It's nice to see bakeries really getting into the St. Patrick's Day spirit this week:

 

 By which I mean they've clearly been drinking.

This is one week I'd actually kind of love to work in these bakeries. I wouldn't be drinking, though; I'd just be egging on all the drunk bakers.

I'd be all, "Hey, guys, you know what we need? JEWISH LEPRECHAUNS."

And they'd be all, "OMG JEN YOU ARE SO SMART AND PRETTY BUT MOSTLY SMART."

 

Sha-POW!

 

Then I'd hold relay races where all the drunk bakers have to ice a cake with their elbows and pipe on the side swags with their teeth:

Ker-PLOOIE!

 

Next I'd get them all to do that thing where someone stands behind you and and you pretend their arms are your arms and play icing Pictionary: 

Bam! Zap! Ni!

 

And finally, I'd just be overly enthusiastic about everything they made, no matter HOW terrible, kind of like your favorite aunt acted when you were four:

[shrieking] THIS IS THE BEST SHAMROCK CAKE I HAVE EVER SEEN. Who wants more beer?

 

[gasp] Did you use the airbrush? WAY TO GO, YOU! And did you cut out that paper pot of gold yourself? You DID?! Well, now, who's a big boy? WHO IS IT?!

 

  I have never wanted to kiss a red UFO more.

 

Yep, I'm telling you, guys, that would be a HOOT. 

 

Now, y'all have fun this weekend, and be safe, and remember:

 Easter wrecks are next.

 

Thanks to Tamara H., Dan B., Lindsay B., Timothy E., Dara M., Courtney L., Jessica D., & Amanda M., for the sobering selections. ;)

« Sunday Sweets: St. Patrick's Day | Main | We Don't Need No Lava Soap, Pope »

Reader Comments (54)

@Barbara Anne, I was taken indirectly to task for complaining about the lack of Pi references on 3.14. I told Theardare to back off and finally had to resort to becoming invisible by using the Unsee Machine with myself as the subject. Theardare responded by piping *that song* into the P.A., since I don't yet have an Unhear Machine. I suppose I should be thankful that it wasn't anything more lethal, such as a Feline Dion medley.

If negotiations with the gat-toting cat are successful, I will reappear. I hope. Perhaps I should have challenged him to a wrestling match. Though the height difference (7' vs. 2.5') would have made for an unfair contest.

Let the record show that I am not now, nor have I ever been, a card-carrying member of the wreckorator's guild. If I were, I couldn't very well be with DOC, could I.

March 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

few things scare me more than Theardare realizing he can make humans disappear with the Unsee machine. I hope it has a short range.

for the record, this morning I just finished the re-reading chapter in "The Prisoner of Azkaban" where we find Sirius Black was not the traitor- sooooo, maybe you could have been a reformed wreckerator?? ;) in the spirit of the day I'll assume that's blarney, however

March 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Nappy Birthday, Elijah!

(Or, in CW-speak, Nappy BLOB BLOB!)

March 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

....WHY ON EARTH HAVEN'T THE CAKEWRECK OLYMPIC GAMES HAPPENED YET??

April 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRainy Daisy

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>