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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Sunday
Jul032011

Sunday Sweets: The "Eh" Team

Today we've decided to feature some amazing cakes in honor of Canada Day, which was Friday.

"But, john the hubby of Jen!" you say, "The fourth of July is tomorrow! We need cakes with American flags! And American things! And...you know...America!"

Well, tough. We've picked on Canada enough over the years, and they deserve at least one day of Sweets for putting up with us.

Plus we used up our best American cakes for Memorial Day.

But mostly that first thing.

Er, before we proceed, I think I should mention that Jen & I have logged many, many hours into determining the least offensive, least stereotypical way to write today's post.

Then we gave up and just wrote what we wanted anyway. Sorry. As Craig Ferguson would say, "I look forward to your letters."

Let's start with some sweet Canadian flags:


Perfection. And after looking at hundreds of Canadian flag cakes, I can say with complete confidence that the maple leaf is officially the hardest thing in the world to draw accurately.

You might think I'll be posting a moose cake next. BUT YOU WOULD BE WRONG.

By Cake Central member krazyb5

Check out that shading! Such great perspective - and almost completely fondant-free.

Plus, from my extensive research I now know that there are almost twice as many black bears in Canada as there are in the U.S. I can also tell you Canada's gross national product and the top five cleanest cities, but Jen tells me that would be "boring as snot," so I guess I won't now.

And...uh...here's a beaver cake:

By The Femme Fondants

Stereotypical? Yes.

Freakin' adorable? ALSO yes.

Now how's about a little Canadian landmarkage?

By Bobbette and Belle

That is the CN Tower. It's 1,815.4 feet - or 553.33 meters - tall and weighs 118,000 tonnes.

So I'm not sure those people are to scale.

These cute crustaceans, either:


Obviously this post wouldn't be complete without a cake representing Canada's national winter sport:

By Cake Central member sugar-2

Hockey! Or as my French-Canadian dad calls it, 'ockey!

That's their Olympic jersey, too. Pretty sweet.

Speaking of sports, are you ready to have your mind blown?


It turns out that basketball was invented by a Canadian. Which is why *I* only root for the Raptors. When I watch basketball, I mean. (Which is never.)

Oh, and do you see that texture?


The decorator made each tiny little divot with a #2 icing tip. A. Mazing.

Here's something else uniquely Canadian:



Tim Hortons!

Okay, so there are also some in Ohio, but that's almost Canada anyway, right?

Besides, we couldn't find any cakes of poutine, tuques, or adorable accents.

Then there's Canada's other beverage of choice:


Beer! (In a tree!)

And get this: those beer bottles and "ice" are molded hard candy. Even the melted bits on the board! I'm amazed. Definitely one of the most convincing bottle cakes I've ever seen.

What's that? You want a little Canadian history? Ok, how's this: did you know that Louis Jolliet (a Canadian) was the first explorer to map the Mississippi river?

By Pink Cake Box

Is it too much to hope the map layer is made of Mississippi mud cake?

And so, in conclusion, I'm sorry I couldn't find a Barenaked Ladies/Nathan Fillion mash-up cake, since I'm told that many of you believe a Barenaked Fillion would make your entire year.

However...

Haven't you always wanted a monkey?


If I had a million dollars...I'd buy, like, ten of these cakes.

Happy Belated Canada Day, Canada! Thanks for being the most polite, fun-loving, and best sense-of-humor-having readers we could ask for.

Have a Sweet to nominate? Then send it to Sunday Sweets [at] Cake Wrecks [dot] com.

« Go Fourth and Celebrate! | Main | Big Bangs »

Reader Comments (187)

Well, I AM Canadian, and I wasn't offended one bit, but rather impressed and excited to see a bit of "home" on your page. The epbot article was awesome, and I'm curious to see what grand things John wrote about us Canucks.
Thanks for celebrating with us!

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I had flash backs to taking my boys to Beavers when I saw that cake. The shrieking of "Sharing, sharing, sharing" by a gym full of 5 and 6 year olds is enough to make you become selfish. Just kidding; that wouldn't be very Canadian of me.
Thank you and sorry we made you worried we wouldn't appreciate your efforts.

wv-ecrusnes-I have ecrusnes and believe me it's painful.

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commentereyesmile

Thanks for the Canadian shout out! Just a note..Tim Hortons is a Canadian Company that was founded in Canada and has spread to other areas (ie: Countries).

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCandy and Cake

Love the tribute and the sweets, even if Tim Hortons is actually majority owned by a US company now (as is The Bay). But how fabulous to see such amazingly well done maple leaves first thing in the morning :)

wv: pations - it must take lots of pations to moderate all the comments

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

As a Canadian, thanks for these wonderful nods to Canada on our special day.

Re: Timmys

I don't know how it is spelled in the US the reason it's Tim Hortons not Tim Horton's is because in Quebec, they won't allow anglicized versions of proper names with apostrophes. So most companies simply use the un-apostropied name across Canada rather than duplicate. Idiotic, of course, but there you go. It's no wonder that many Canadians don't know the proper use of apostrophes.

2m 2s: 2 creams 2 sugars are collectively known as "Double-doubles" I have actually heard people ordering 2x4's (2 cream and 4 sugars) and 4x4s (I think you can figure that one out). A friend orders 2x8s!!!!!! My drink of choice is "Extra Large double-double".

Timbits: what are known at other coffee shops (and in the US) as doughnut holes.

And I offer, again, a representative of Canada welcoming visitors to Canada (just to assure you that he was very lucky and survived his adventure): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sekLEG8xsOs

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnneke (Mudhooks)

I'm offended! You said Canadians are the best CW Fans. Well, I'm an American living in New Zealand and I say Kiwi Americans are your best fans. ;)

I suppose I can forgive you, though, since the Canadian cakes are so freaking adorable!
~Amaya

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJaded Pixie

As a proud American about 40 minutes away from Niagara Falls, ON.....I love it!!! The basketball cake is so amazing! And Timmy Ho's? I feel so sorry for those who have never had it.

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPattyAnne

fun fact, I saw a Tim Hortons in Dublin Ireland.

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJen Marie

Oh, and I forgot to add something regarding The Graham Norton Show: Graham gave a copy of your book to Kate Hudson! She loved it!! Especially the baby cakes, being pregnant and all :)

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDings

I DIDN'T KNOW NATHAN FILLION WAS FROM CANADA!! I now have one huge awesome reason to love Canada! ... outside of they fact that they are pretty awesome anyways:) *drool*

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

I'm pretty sure I"m going to ask for a Barenaked Fillion for my birthday.

Yup. Totally am.

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatz

Just another Canadian here to say thanks for putting up the Canadian cakes!! Loved it!

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

In the ever-popular spirit of correction, I would like to point out that lobsters and crabs are not red when alive -- they only get that way after cooking. Although a lighthouse-size lobster is an interesting culinary concept, and one I fully support. (om nom nom nom)

John, I'm pretty sure the tens of people who might be interested can find the lowdown on the history of basketball on Wikipedia. Note: I haven't checked that statement for accuracy. Not going to, either.

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I'll just say that all the Canadians I've known have been really cool people, and also that I don't see anything in this post that would potentially offend. :-)

I don't know what the monkey cake has to do with Canada, but I want it.

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

must. have. hockey. jersey. cake.

i thought nothing was going to make me desire more than the pony/vader cake, but my love of hockey just trumped out my sweekiness.

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRobyn

*Pondering a Barenaked Fillion*

Hmmm...I seem to remember one of those in the episode 'Trash'. Ok, so not cake, but still yummy. :)

Technically, we had an almost barenaked Fillion in "Trash". Just sayin', eh?

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

How awesome! It's so nice to see Canadian cakes without a garbled maple leaf.

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndreaofCanada

Ha! I was in Beavers when I was a kid, more than 30 years ago. That hat, the scarf -- perfect.

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love tim hortons! whenever i have to go to detroit for work, i make sure to stop in ypsilanti for some timbits and coffee. my husband, who is Canadian, also appreciated the hockey jersey cake. so good job on the unoffensive Canadian post!

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

LOVE this post! Proud to be Canadian!!! And these cakes just made my weekend!! :)

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJill

I seriously wondered for a second why on earth you were posting an actual beer bucket. There is nothing at all on that cake that indicates it's actually cake. I would get in such trouble at a party where that was being served, because I'd be guaranteed to try to get a beer from the bucket!

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdreamerkins

thanks for the Canada day Cakery. You have tons ( Tonnes in Metric) of fans up here in 'The Great White North' (TM) Keep up the good work, eh.

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

sorry - I'm totally preoccupied with the mental picture of Barenaked Fillion...

Nice.

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterUnknown

That was so totally unoffensive I'm a bit disappointed... :)

- Michelle, a Canadian

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

The end....with Nathan Fillion and Barenaked Ladies....BEST PART!!!

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

There is a Tim HOrtons in N. Syracuse, NY too. I'll keep my DD though.

And if you search you can find the naked Nathan pic, although I understand he really hates anyone to bring that up.

Now a Mike Holmes cake would have been cool too.

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterev

Best. Canadian. Post. EVER!

Great job, guys! You obviously did your homework.

Have a Happy Independence Day tomorrow!

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRi-mix

I'm kind of saddened that not too many people caught the Bob & Doug McKensie reference. I've known about them since... well, a long time, and I immediately began singing the rest of the song. ::le sigh:: Great post as always! I look forward to your genius every day, Jon & Jen!

--Kim S.

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hey! There's Tim Hortons in NY too!

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

Oh Canada!
BTW I think that beaver looks like he's peeing with the river and ya see it don't you? Okay, never mind. It's a fantastic cake just poorly placed. We helped our Canadian friends celebrate Canada day, lit fireworks which they had never done before.

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStevens Family

Man, now all I'm going to want as a birthday cake is a BNL/Captain Tightpants masterpiece.
These are really great cakes. And no Bieber or Celine jokes. Quite impressive!

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersrb

What in the name of Merlin's Beard does that monkey cake have to do with Canada?
And where's a moose cake?

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStevens Family

Thanks so much for honouring Canada on our birthday. These were some awesome cakes.

Don't worry about Canadian stereotypes; we laugh at those too. Any Monty Python fans? "I'm a lumberjack ..."

In the whole world, there are 3 television stations solely dedicated to weather. TWO are in Canada. hehehe

@saraCVT - most Canadians, hockey fans, and Vancouverites were upset about the Stanley Cup riot. Some people stood in front of stores to prevent looting. The next day, Vancouverites showed up to help clean up the mess. They also covered the police cars with sticky notes to thank them.

Happy Fourth of July to all of you.

Two proud Canadians from Red Deer, Canada.

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjeliecam

Very very nice cakes. I couldn't believe the beer one wasn't real ice cold beer. Wow. And now I want a Barenaked/Fillon cake dang it all lol.

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

A "Barenaked Fillion" - OMG... Excuse me, I'll be in my bunk!

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjennifer

A BareNaked Fillion would DEFINITELY make my week. MROW!!! What even better is that by all accounts he's a genuinely nice guy. WOO HOO! The basketball cake is amazing.
~Kaelyn

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Craig Ferguson is my HERO.

No, wait--it's Marge Gunderson in Fargo (the movie).
So, MY favorite accent would be North Dakotan.
Bloody nice cakes, there. Louis Jolliet had some nice luggage, didn't he, now. Did he put his maps on all of his bags? He could have had his own designer lable.
I can't see what's so hard about drawing maple leaves. I'm a Vermonter~~we learn how to draw them, and draw them correctly, in the womb. Vermonters consider the maple leaf CURRENCY.

=^u.u^=

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

love all the bare naked ladies references. thanks for not being offensive when refering to our very special celebration day. we might have to get all polite and say "sorry, but you've offended us."

happy 4th!

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

You show me a barenaked Fillion and I think I could die happy.

Very cute cakes... They're all so artfully done, eh?

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

Being an Ohioan, I am slightly offended that you think Ohio is almost Canada! I mean, just because we talk funny and share a Great Lake doesn't mean anything!

Just kidding. I like Ohio and Canada. Ohioans could be compared to a lot worse.

Also, you will enjoy this song about Canada:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIrmPEyt0Nc

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

As a Canadian i'm trying to work out how our national pride COULD be dented enough for people to take offense. Heck, the "Blame Canada" song wasn't enough to do it.

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEvalis

After exhausting my sensitivity to Canadian stereotypes watching the opening/closing ceremonies at the Vancouver Olympics, I'm certain nothing you could say would be worse. You guys did a great job! I actually ran into a momma bear and her cubs hiking the day after Canada Day, so you're bang on with the bear cake!

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKerri

Actually, there is such a thing as a poutine cake. Ok, it's not really a cake, but it is dessert made to look like Poutine. It's made of donut "fries", marshmallows and caramel sauce. http://www.ricardocuisine.com/recettes/beignets-crepes-patisseries/3141-poutine-dessert
Now not that I want to start a debate, but Poutine really is more of a Quebec thing (French Canadians living north of Vermont), so you should feature this next year on June 24th, Quebec's national holiday!

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGenny

your post brings this video to mind...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sekLEG8xsOs
Wonderful!

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As a very proud Candian I'd like to say THANKS for this awesome post! I have to say that my favourite cake is the CN Tower cake and of course the Beaver cake. BTW, SaraCVT is absolutely right about Great Big Sea - they are by far the best band out there and if you ever get the opportunity to see them live don't miss it! Thanks Cakewrecks for honouring your friendly neighbours to the north and Happy 4th!

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKadie

Definitely an enjoyable Sweets post... made even more so by the fact that the background music loop from Epcot's Canada pavilion is playing on MouseWorld Radio 4 at the moment. Also love the BNL reference.

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLeah Rollins

Just wish you could have added just one NICE cake celebrating the US Independence Day. boohoo

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Anon,

There are at least 6 posts of beautiful American cakes that we've done in the past.

Let Canada have a day.

john

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