Stack the Wreck

"The best way out is always through."
Which is fabulous advice pretty much any time you're not constructing a multi-tier wedding cake.
[Bah dum CHA]
Thank you. Thankyouverramuuuch.
"In the Wilton course 3 kit (which I did not have), the pillars are meant to go through the cake, with the bottom pieces threaded through so that it looks like it isn't in the cake. I simply bought the wrong pillars, the ones with the square bottom that is meant to sit on the separator plate and not actually go into the cake. When I pushed them into the cake, the square holes were the result."
Ah, so it's Wilton's fault! I knew it! Well, I think I should mention that this was one of Laura's first cakes and she has since improved her cakey skillz a little bit:
Or, ya know. A lot bit.
Thanks for being such a good sport, Laura, and for setting the record straight.
Reader Comments (74)
What.
Tiers of a clown....
Best pun ever!
Oh man what a horrid thing to do to someone's wedding cake. I hope they got the deposit back or something. Wow I can't even think of how or why a cake decorator could do this to someone's cake unless this was the first one they made? :( I can see a bridezilla going nuts on this one..and I would agree with her lol.
Nice Elvis impression, Jen!
Well how should something like this be done?
Anonymous @ 11:18: "Well how should something like this be done?"
There are many different tiered cake construction techniques, each using a different set of tools to create different effects.
Some cakes are made with support pillars that have narrow bottoms, which are meant to push through the cake and rest on the plate beneath. Other pillars have wide bottoms, which are meant to rest on a plate without touching the cake (the plate can sit on the table or on top of the lower cake layer).
In this instance, the wreckerator used wide-bottomed columns as if they were narrow-bottomed columns. This put big square holes in the cake and made the whole thing lopsided.
So, to answer your question: use the right tools, have plenty of icing on hand, and if you are adding a cake topper, choose one that is the appropriate size and weight for the cake.
I think the point was to save time by not having to clean the pillars...
Ouch. Who's NOT gonna see that?
I don't buy the punch-through theory. The edges of the holes are pushed up, as would be the case with someone using a knife or a saw. Punching with something left in place would result in edges pushed into the hole.
I also don't see any clear evidence of cake -- I think the lower tiers are hollow, made of either cardboard or drywall and 'frosted' with what looks like plaster of Paris. Only the top tier is real -- it is for the couple to enjoy on the first anniversary.
The square holes are meant to accommodate different column styles -- the wreckerator simply forgot to hide the holes with flowers, piping, bathtub caulk, grommets, duct tape, etc.
I agree with the other posters about the Lladro figurine...I don't even think it was meant to be a cake topper; I've hefted a Lladro piece much smaller than that and it felt like a paper weight!
Many think that decorating with tiers is a piece of cake ('scuze the pun), but obviously a little bit of physics or maybe even an inkling of DIY common sense is necessary to pull something like this off...
I'm just wondering what the mess of piping on the right side of the middle tier is. Was it perhaps to cover up the big hole the decorator left behind when she thrust the square columns through the cake while she was busy watching tv? And after they were done they looked at the cake and said "Oh crap, I'll just put this mound of icing on the side and put round columns instead of square columns. Maybe no one will notice."
wow. just wow.
No one's mentioned this yet, but the file names for both pictures say "engagement" rather than "wedding."
The good news: an engagement party cake would be seen by fewer people and have less relevance to the big event than a wedding cake-- fewer hurt feelings, less chance of anyone getting sued.
The bad news: if it's not a wedding cake, odds are good that every last one of those tiers is made of real cake.
wv: satic - Only satic electricity is holding that top tier in place.
Okay, there is no excuse for this. Even as a kid I knew that you DON'T CUT HOLES in a cake for pillars like that.
I have to question the brain power of the baker here. Bad enough the overall decorating is poor and I've done BETTER than that as a kid.
I think the cake topper pushed the supports down thru the cake.
I'm just so confused..How could this happen? I've seen those invisible pillars, but you just push them right into the cake. You don't need to like, dig a hole...
I love the fact you had posted a wedding cake on July 29, since it's my anniversary! Hope the marriage is more on the level and with a few less um,holes, than the cake!
best cakewrecks pun of all time!
Ok, I can understand the bakers explanation, and I feel for her I'm sure this happened after she had the cake almost finished, so of course she can't redo it, but come on... leaving gaping holes in the cake? I'm an amateur but even I could cover those decently with frosting. Her more recent cake is lovely.
The last thing that a bride wants to do on their wedding day is feel on the heavy side. "So you're saying that I can cause the ground to implode, eh? Turn the 3rd floor into the 1st floor? Let me at'em!" Hopefully it tasted good. Nothing worse than a cake that tastes bad too!
I just wanted to let everyone know that this cake was made for my family's dessert one night (many years ago!). I made it because I wanted to try out the pillars that I learned about in a Wilton class, but I unfortunately bought the wrong ones. I wasn't planning on decorating it -- and didn't even color the icing, so when I was done, I added a quick shell border & threw on my cake topper that was on my wedding cake. I never looked at this cake as though it was for an actual wedding, and now that I am, I can see where all the comments come from...but rest assured, no bride had to suffer any disappointment with this cake. For those of you who think this is the worst you've seen, I can only say that you have not spent enough time on this website. So, look up wedding cakes, and prepare to laugh until you cry. Enjoy! And thanks again Jen & John for keeping us all entertained!!
I think you more than proved your worth in the new photo added. Very nice!
I love the decorator for contacting you. That took a lot of courage. She has my empathy. Sometimes stuff happened and you do the best you can with what you've got. I had a cake order with an off-road racing theme. The track was supposed to be sand. One of the four brand new, still in the box, vehicles that I was to put on this cake was a giant lawn mower. Okay. I love creating the illusion of action and motion on called. I went a little further be making it clear that the lawn mower was in the lead. Another time, someone brought luggage strap to be used as ribbon on a wedding cake. Sheer ribbon was glued to it with some super-noxious adhesive that was making me ill. This job is never ending surprises.
I want to embiggen the second cake! It looks amazing!