Open Belly, Insert Foot
October 20, 2011 Friends, countrypersons, CCC-makers (ptooie!):
I've tried to be reasonable.
I've tried to show you the appetite-killing effects of edible mommy bodies:
;)
I've tried to show you the cannibalistic undertones, the disturbing ramifications, and the flat-out creepiness of neck stumps and booby slices.
I've even shared with you the horror stories of raspberry fillings, plastic baked-in babies, and mock C-sections!
All to no avail.
And now - NOW - bakers are adding an homage to the scariest scene in Ghostbusters. Because that scene with the demon dogs pressing their faces through the door? [sing-song] A-DOR-ABLE!
;)
Quick! GET OUT OF THE ARMCHAIR, DANA!!
Sure, they might have started out small...
;)
"Aw, lookit da cutesy-wootsy lil' foot sticking out! Haha! So sweet!"
...but it wasn't long before bakers were pushing the boundaries of what anyone could stomach.
;)
Literally.
(Also, ow.)
And because more is ALWAYS better...
;)
"Leeeet ussss ooooouuuut!!"
...it wasn't long before the laws of physics went completely out the window:
;)
Sweet mercy, woman, TELL ME you're getting an epidural.
So I ask you, fellow citizens, are we to stand for this? Or will we put our foot down, stop toeing the line, and kick belly cakes to the curb once and for all?!
Hey, wait a second. You just saved these photos to your "inspiration" folder, didn't you, bakers? YOU'RE NOT EVEN LISTENING TO ME, are you??
Oh, fine. Just send me photos when you're done, and we'll call it even.
Thanks to Amy U., Elizabeth M., Alanna E., Amanda R., Mary V., & Holly T. for today's belly laughs.
Reader Comments (89)
zoomom, I double dog dare you!
Craig- waaaaayyyy to funny. :D
I was in a delivery room- ONCE- with a friend and, asked if she was sure it was coming out the usual direction and not straight up (a la "Alien"). The doctor was amazed she laughed while pushing. After the joyous event, she asked if that was the final nail in the coffin (as to if I was ever having kids) and I didn't even have to answer. She knew.
So, while others love these enough to order the, consume them and post them, I'm kinda freaked...
I have just one question on the first cake. Is that a belly or a 3rd boob?! LOL. The proportions and the color is just soooo wrong.
Anyone else think the pink polka dotted one looks like it has wonky nipples. Bad polka dot placement!
I wanted it to stop, but couldn't stop scrolling. My eyes, my eyes!
The fifth one... That's not a pregnant woman, it's Freddy Krueger and the souls of "his children". After he got a beer gut and a sex change.
#2 would have been just fine if they'd put a baby elephant trunk and feet under the surface - that's what it FEELS like after about 5 months.
I am going to have to forego reading your blog for at least another week. I cannot sit here and try not to laugh hysterically as I am currently recovering from my very own c-section. Thanks for making me laugh, even if it hurts like the dickens right now. Oh, and I will forgo mentioning the "jungle" themed cake having anything that resembles a . . . oh, nevermind, it's not even in the right place.
This is just hysterical. The cakes: disturbing, but funny. The captions: pointing out disturbing things I didn't think of / notice in a VERY hilarious way. The comments: Hysterically disturbing in all sorts of ways. I needed a good laugh today, and by gosh, I came to the right place! Thank you, one and all, whether born, born again or in vitreo.
Just when I thought it was safe..they made more baby shower cakes this time with feet and hands sticking out! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Now I wonder how some of the mom's to be can eat these I would be a bit afraid to.
Not just an epidural on that last one, a C-SECTION!
My son had feet that big as the last one. Yes, I got the epidural and his head was so big he wouldn't drop and I still needed the C-section - and he was 10 days late. 10-lbs 7 oz, 22" long (and he was my first) and when I brought him home, he was too big for the newborn diapers and his feet were too big for the 0-3 month sized socks. No, I wasn't diabetic, he was just nearly as big as I was when I was born - and almost as late as me, I beat him on length by 2", but he beat me on weight by 5 oz.
OMG; I am laughing my a** off! I just found your blog and i am already in love with it!!! Now i know what i am going to do the rest of the day, keep on reading thru it all!! This is great, I LOVE IT!!! Thank you for a great blog and for making me laugh so hard my lungs are crawling out by themselves :D
Have a great day!!!
/ Caroline
This post MADE MY DAY!!!!! One of those cakes is my sister's baby shower cake which I thought was absolutely horrifying the first time I saw it. She thinks cakes like that are awesome apparently because this is her SECOND belly/boob cake. I don't know which attendee at my sister's shower sent the picture in, but I thank you.
I call the HIDDEN MICKEY on Alaysia's cake. :) Gearing up to go back to Disney - have to get my HM eyes fired up.
I'm going to a baby shower tomorrow. I intend to take my camera, just in case the cake is one Jen should see. :)
So, how long till something like this is depicted in cake form?
Should I be honored or horrified that MY cake is on here??? I didn't the African American Mommy's tummy cake with the giraffe clothes :)
I really like the Alaysia cake to be honest. It looks well done from a skill perspective and is a really beautiful cake. The last one would look just as great if the foot wasn't a men's size 10!
It doesn't hurt when they make bumps on your tummy. It hurts when they stick their feet in your ribs.
But really ladies... for the vast majority of us, it's just not that bad, so long as we don't have to eat it in cake. :) Now shitmykidsruined.com, THAT is some serious birth control right there.
This is the first time I've commented, but then again, this is the first time a post LITERALLY GAVE ME NIGHTMARES. My poor sister had ghostly babies trying to burst out of her tummy.
Of course, the narcotics could have played a role too. But mainly I blame the cakes.
@Elizabeth- I have got you beat. My 1st baby was 12lbs. 5oz. and 7 days EARLY. Her foot was probably bigger than the one in #5 but in all fairness so was my belly. We joke and say she walked out a toddler. No- I wasn't diabetic and yes- it was a C-section. My second baby was only 11lbs. 6oz. and only 3 days early. He is my tiny baby. :-)
hey! my ccc was so pretty you would be crazy for a ccc if you saw that thing!
Seriously no one saw the off centered vagins in the third pic... seriously? It was birthing a leah.
I am ashamed to admit that I have done several baby bump cakes now. However, I absolutely REFUSE to but a body part sticking out. That's where I draw the line. I have also informed anyone who will listen, that if I ever have a kid, and they throw me a shower, and they get me a baby bump cake, they will be SHOT! LOL
Ok - I didn't read ALL of the comments...but did anybody else notice that the hands on cake 5 are going the WRONG WAY?
I can't stop scrolling back up to look at the animal print one again. Is it just me, or is there an unfortunate fold in the fondant on the lower left hand side of the cake? Are the leaves meant to be covering Mummy's modesty, or am I over thinking this one?
These are so creepy! Reminds me of the scene in a Nightmare on Elm Street where all the kids heads are coming out of Freddy's body! Great, now I'm gonna have nightmares again
I don't know what all the fuss is about people... There just CAKES!! There is nothing disturbing about them if you have had a baby its funny!!! The bakers are doing these cakes to get a rise out of you and your making all the drama. To the women who are afraid to have kids...don't be!! Its the best feeling in the world when you hold your beautiful baby in your arms after carrying him/her inside you.
I have 3 children and its the hardest job you will ever love:)
I think they are absolutely adorable, and would have loved one at each of my showers. Anything at all about pregnancy and the miracle of birth is amazing to me, and I feel this is just another one of the benefits of being a woman. Love them!
I actually think a few are awful but some adorable and I agree if you are going to make a belly cake at least look at physics(or the size of the foot a child would be in relation to the tummy). I feel the huge breast shouldn't be so in your face especially because this is not a bachleorette shower cake it is a baby shower cake and I do realize they are trying to show the hot mom affect but it is a little much.
Come on girls...it's not in the best of taste... but lighten up!!!i t's not a big deal...there are much more important things going on in the world than your baby shower cake and how it makes you feel!!!!!
Just think about it for a minute....and if you still want to talk about it....well...just go ahead! ( I Won't be here!)
At least they were not vagina cakes!
OK!!! YUCK!!! TOO FAR!!! GROSS! MAKES ME SICK!
I never laughed so hard!!! Oh the joy of reading the comments and the cake pics are oh so hilarious!!! Thanks for the chuckles!!!!!
They are all beautiful cakes, if you love children, you'd understand.
omg....why? the whole feet and hands sticking out is just...unnecessary...eeeewwwww.
Am I the only one who noticed folded up VA-jay-jay on the side of the jungle themed belly???? So wrong!!
When I was pregnant I had a dream where the baby bust through my tummy, and I'm sitting there open tummy, the baby (who looked like a six month old) sitting upright in the gap and cooing and all and friends and family were gathering around going "Oh how cute" while I think..."stop staring at the baby and get me to the hospital."
But anyways, not sure why I thought of that.
Oh, and here's the converstation I just had with my husband, who only looked over my shoulder at the last cake.
"What is that?"
I don't answer, just scroll back up to the other cakes.
"Good lord."
Scrolling back to the last cake. I read the subtitle.
"Oh. That's a foot?!" Husband stiffling guffah.
"Yeah. Ma'am....how overdue are you?" (Me not even trying to stiffle guffah).
Husband: "I just got one thing to say...you need to get that baby a Nike scholarship."
"
I had a Grandmother to be order one of these cakes for her daughter, who is having a girl. She even wanted the cake dyed pink and.....you guessed it- raspberry filling! I could not get your website out of my mind from the moment she ordered it. There is just something wrong about having to fondle a set of cake boobies to get the fondant smooth when they look entirely too real. :(
I kind of want to ask the baker who made the last cake: How did the mom get Junior to wear SHOES before birth??