Stairway to Heaven
January 21, 2011 I have to be honest: I've never really understood the whole wedding-cake-plastic-staircase thing. I mean, who first decided the wedding figurines might need to take a stroll down to one of the side cakes?
;)
"Ok, what you have to do is, hop over the leaf-shrooms, collect the heart rings, and then duke it out with the Moopa-Moosers down at the bottom. Oh, and watch out for the barrels."
Then, after providing this thoughtful pathway, the decorators go and make it completely inaccessible!
Or battle their way through all that foliage?
Granted, I can't think of a better place to put your plastic deer collection.
Mmm. Drippy.
You know what, though? These cakes still don't have enough going on. What do you say in addition to the stairs, tiers, figurines, and light-up fountain, we cover everything in Louis Vuitton?
Ah, rampant materialism climbs to new heights. I like it.But it's STILL not enough. Can we get a few dozen miniature bridal party dolls, a Barbie cake, a few bolts of tulle, and the Amazon rain forest in here now, guys?
No, no, don't take away the stairs, fountain, or multiple topper figurines; we need those.
***
All set? Alrighty, let's take a look.
YES!! BEHOLD MY CREATION!! AHAHAHAHAHAAA!
Or...not.
Reader Comments (163)
I do cakes a a small side business and have done a few wedding cakes (so far no wrecks) and I am SOOOO glad this trend seems to have faded. . . I have actually started a meeting with a couple telling them I do not do staircasse cakes!
So far it hasnt cost me job yet. They are so ugly!!
- Char
A Louis Vuitton wedding cake? Clearly the bride and groom both have baggage! *Badum Chick!*
AHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY EYES!!!! WHAT'S UP WITH THE BARBIE CAKE??
I didn't get the whole stairs and fountains thing, so I googled it, and the first result it came up with said this...
"Wedding cakes with fountains and stairs provide an elegant twist on more traditional models and effectively symbolize the journey on which an engaged couple is about to embark. They may not be the most common or popular cakes seen at weddings, but their potential to merge with classic designs make them a worthy style for couples to consider. "
I think the icing sugar has gone to the writer's head!
An old schoolmate recently got married and had one of these cakes, which I still don't understand... Why why why when there's so many beautiful cakes out there, would you choose a monstrosity like that?
WV : adocti ... I think I'm gonna need to see adocti about all these stair & fountain cakes that I'm having nightmares about...
My future mother-in-law wanted to make me a cake exactly like all of these. She made staircase fountain cakes for her daughter's wedding. I would cry.
The third cake would look ok w/o the foliage, like just have the flowers.
The fourth cake made me laugh out loud. I'd never think of putting deer on a wedding cake.
On the fifth one, maybe red wasn't such a good idea for a fountain. Bout the same as using yellow.
ok, i might be crazy, why most ppl say the cakes are crazy or tacky? Actually i love them
The 1st one looks just like a wedding cake my uncle had for his wedding. I am 95 percent sure it is the same cake. Add to that the cheesy wood paneling that looks just like the reception area of said wedding. What a small world!! Add to the fact that I was 13 when said wedding took place, and during my first marriage had something similar, but in teal and white. (Hangs my head in Shame)
If you think these are bad, you evidently haven't seen My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, yet. With the Barbie dolls stuck in the cakes and the twinkling rope lights squiggled all through them...oy!!!
The first cake looks like a skeleton with outstretched arms, and the last cake has apparently attacked the random dude in the corner with homicidal vine tendrils of doom
And then there are the ones that have many figures representing bridesmaids and groomsmen going up and down the stairs ....yeeesh
So, that last caption on that last horror <shudder> reminded me instantly of the Oingo Boingo song "Weird Science". Anyone else get that moment? I feel that actually a lot of these weirder wrecreation posts just *need* to be done to the "Weird Science" song.
I mean, how perfect are the lyrics? (Excerpts here):
"From my heart and from my hand,
why don't people understand
my intentions?
Weird, oooh!
Weird science!
Plastic tubes and pots and pans
Bits n pieces
and the magic from the hand
we're makin'
Weird science! Oooh!
...
Something like a recipe
bits n pieces and
bits n pieces and
My creation...is it real?
It's my creation...I do not know
No hesitation -- no heart of gold
Just flesh and blood (replace with "cake and icing"?)
I do not know
From my heart and from my hand
Why don't people understand
my intentions?"
Am I the only one who sees the skull in the top level of the top cake? At first, I thought it was something vastly different from a wedding cake, and then I thought that, maybe, it was an October 31st wedding. That entire cake strikes me as a strangely distorted skeleton.