Show Offs
January 12, 2010 Sometimes the things bakeries put in their display windows make you wonder: they do want people to buy their cakes, right?
Poor Thomas. All that pastel and plastic flotsam have turned him into the little engine that could - in a pinch - kill you.
YOU WISH ME TO THROW CREAM PIES? I'M SORRY, DAVE. I'M AFRAID I CAN'T DO THAT. YOU SEE, I'M LACTOSE INTOLERANT.If you're not afraid of clowns or robots, though, then this next specimen has you covered.
I can't quite pin it down, but something about this cake really bugs me.Everybody knows nothing draws in the crowds quite like big-time Hollywood celebrities, though. So hey, why not feature Patrick Swayze, Michael Jackson, and Heath Ledger all in the same cake?
Well, I did say IN.Oh, and if you're wondering what all those brown pellets are, there's a nice big rubber rat on hand to point your thoughts in the right direction. Yummm.
Bakers, just remember: the important thing with display cakes is to show potential customers what you're made of. Show them your raw talent, your years of experience, your impeccable sense of form and style, your...uh...
...your pipe cleaners?Eric D., Monique R., Amy N., Vic., & Jill B., with time and effort you, too, might one day master the pipe cleaner arch.
UPDATE: Hey, would you believe that today is actually HAL 9000's birthday? Finally, my knack for unintentionally posting news-relevant entries results in something good!
- Related Wreckage: Bakery PSA
Reader Comments (104)
Has Tweety's heart been cut out and replaced with a tiny paper man wearing a toque?
And what's with the random piece of red icing smeared foil between Tweety's legs?
Medical experimentation has moved from rats to beloved cartoon characters now, huh? So wrong.
I love it! These cakes are definitely entertaining!
I don't know about you, but the thing that definitely bothers me with that Tweety Bird cake is the unfortunate placement of those balloons. It not only looks like he's been crucified, but that he's actually enjoying the experience. Eep!
Wow. Swift forgot to mention the large yellow chick that followed Gulliver to the island.
But I guess after the Liliputians are done with him they can just bury him in the cake cemetery.
Hey that first cake isn't necessarily a wreck, it's actually perfect for the Stephen King/Maximum Overdrive train enthusiast in the family, yeah!
"Two groups, one cake." LMAO!
Those look like wickets in croquet.
Poor Tweety! Did the baker take out a chunk to taste, and try to hide it with a plastic baker? Not to mention being pinned to the board by those balloons, like a bad cake specimen. Poor wittle guy.
WV: putyl I prefer labs or boxers over putyls.
ok, that tweety cake. what's with the little baker shoved into his stomach? and the brown jelly beans on the bottom? they only bring icky thoughts to mind. and pipe cleaners? i can hear the kids now. "ooh, ooh! i wanna suck the frosting off them!" eew! wrecktastic post, as usual!
Yipes. Picture appears and on my screen the first thing I see is a colorful, bristly top. And my first thought is: colorful, bristly, poisonous caterpiller?
Scroll up. Oh. Thomas. Maybe.
Yeah, I think the robot clown is a luchador, but still not very well done.
That ballerina cake looked at first to be a big chunk of cheese with a handle at the top. Silly me.
word v: Rello-- "Rello, to you, too, Scooby Doo."
What 'Bugs' me is the crumpled aluminum foil on Tweety's cake board. Reduce, reuse, recycle?
wv: petsduli-- My petsduli tu me sometimes, as I never can get a confession of which dog was in the garbage can. Du your petsli tu u tu?
OMG when I first saw the graveyard I thought: NOooooooo they didn't!
Then when I zoomed in, I was just left to wonder: Why did they sprinkle it with dog kibble?!?
Ingrid
'Feliz' is spelled correctly on that cake, it's just sitting at an angle. Please give the decorator credit where credit is due, as it's clearly the last thing that went right that day.
WV: remorir- I saw the cemetery cake, and it's like those guys died all over again.
Oh, Tweety. Is that supposed to be bird seed, or are those lice all around his feet? I finally see the other meaning of 'bugs' here.
And have his um, wittle birdy bits just met the guillotine?
I want the pipe cleaner cake! It's amazing!
Also... who eats cake commemorating dead celebrities?
That graveyard cake needs a creepy sequined gloved hand reaching up from the ground...because if you're going to be tacky, it's all or nothing, babe.
"Because it's Thriller, Thriller night..."
Obviously no one has recognized what Number Two (sorry) represents: it's Muncho Libre, the patron saint of Mexican Freestyle Wrecking!
gave you an award on my blog today! 4kidsandalargecoffee.blogspot.com
I usually don't enjoy bathroom-esque humor much, but HAL had me laughing and laughing...and laughing some more. I was doing the dialogue along with the clip... up to a point, anyway!
Anyone catch the crumpled foil under the Tweety cake...
Tweety's beak is what is going to give me nightmares. His eyes seem to follow me wherever i go.....
Took me a while, but I think that communion wafer is significant, as Thomas is clearly seen here as some kind of evil railroad overlord, creating little (Train) Wrecks of his own. *Mwahahaha...*
"ohmygawd. there's a ghost image of a man in dark glasses on the ballerina cake!!"
It would be okay to keep it there, because as you can see, there's a lot of unused space in front of the ballerinas caught in quicksand. Grab a pipe cleaner, and hang on, girls!
PLEASE, oh PLEASE tell me that the sign on Tweety that the weird little Baker man is holding does not list two prices....what appear to be $885.00 and $605.00. Seriously????? Dollars?????
@Taylor -
Agreed. Too soon.
There's this mall in my area that has a coin-operated train for kids to ride on. It has this really angry, creepy face. The train cake reminded me of it.
Too many accessories...that dont cordinate!
The cakes would be pretty decent if they didnt scatter assorted plastic items on it.
LESS IS MORE!!!!
I'm with the other readers that Thomas is actually Blaine the Pain/Charlie the Choo-Choo. That's a pretty close representation of Stephen King's description in The Waste Lands. hehe
Wow, wreckage of all sorts. The celebrity cemetery just floors me- are we celebrating, mourning, just having some sad, gray cake with a visiting rat? No good possibilities there.
On the bright side- good job on your unintentional good timing post, Jen. It has to work in your favor sometimes!
Lactose Intolerant HAL...hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!
I *think* the "plastic" flotsom on the first one actually looks sort of like candy melt which was piped into shapes and then cooled. I could be wrong... but it's a technique I use a lot... though... I must say, I've never achieved something quite this amazingly craptastic lol. That thing is horrifying.
Thomas the psycho train. When the photos find their way to the surface, I am going to send in a cake of Thomas the Tank Engine my Mum did for my 4th birthday, and hope it passes for Sunday's entrys.
Following that, one has to wonder where we can find a sick and twisted mind to put cakes together these days. After all, when it comes to cake, one should be as creative as possible, like stabbing a Tweety, eating dead celebrities and setting lose homocidal trains. What more do we need, I ask you?
Aren't those ants crawling on Tweety's leg, on and around the ribbon? Ewwwww. And he must be a vampire bird, since he's got a flotsam pick/stake driven through his heart.
The Faux Tweety is all kinds of tacky. One wing flipped upside down, the lumpy frosting, the glue, sprinkles and jellybean ground is just plain terrible but the real kicker is that awful tin foil cake board. Every time you get a slice of Almost-Tweety, you'll have to pick out bits of foil.
I refuse to acknowledge the train as Thomas. I don't need my childhood destroyed.
Oh, my God: they crucified Tweetie!
@ Taylor--
I'm thinking it's more like too late, instead. As in, someone could have stopped this cake from happening, but instead it's here now and we all KNOW about it...
wv:remors-- Bakers aren't showing a lot of remors today, looks like to me.
It's BLAINE! BLAINE THE MONO!
I do believe I had those very same ballerinas on my birthday cake... in 1979!!
That looks like Blaine the train from Stephen Kings series "the dark tower" Now how am i going to sleep?
That Tweety cake must be huge - two ice-cream cones for the beak, as perspective.
The Thomas the Tank Engine cake looks like his face was drawn on the back of a Eucharist. Very strange.
And something about that ballerina cake makes me feel quite uneasy. It has the same sinister look of neglect and decay that a dirty, old plastic doll might have. If you know what I'm saying. Awful.
That first one isn't Thomas the Tank Engine. It's his drunken, evil twin - Thomas the Tanked Engine.
Feliz GumpLeanos? Wreck, Forrest, wreck!
Did they use stucco on Tweety so he would last longer? Those ice cream cones obviously took some effort to make such a dent. F for eff-ort.
What's with the big wad of netting tied around the ballerina? What is it hiding?
Well, the chick is shifty-eyed, can't be trusted. You have to keep looking over your shoulder at what the hell is behind you that he seems so frightened by. And then chicky cakewreck says "Psych! Made you look!" He's a jerk.
I showed the Thomas cake to my 6 year old son. He said, "WHAT is that?" I said, "It's a Thomas cake. Is it good or bad?" and he said, "CREEPY, VERY CREEPY!" lol Can't even fool a kid. ha.
Great, THIS is how I find out Patrick Swayze died?? WHERE WAS I??? Seriously!!
too funny!
I thought middle school dissection too when I saw Tweetie.
For the record, by 2-year-old says the clown/robot is a "monkey cake".
The Blaine cake will live on in my nightmares...so glad to see others recognize him!