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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jul242009

A Womb with a View

Sure, torso cakes are kind of freaky, and eating cake babies can be off-putting, but what else is there for the baby shower hostess who wants to creep out her guests under the guise of serving a scrumptious treat? Is there nothing new under the Wrecky sun?

(Hah, like you don't know the answer to that.)

Presenting...the sonogram cake!


Thank you, edible image printing and 3D ultrasound imaging! Who knew two technologies could come together to create something so deliciously horrifying?

Now, don't get me wrong: I appreciate that sonograms allow moms to get an advance viewing of their little bun in the oven - I do. And most of these cakes are actually really well made, too. But let's face it: these new 3D sonograms look like they were directed by M. Night Shyamalan.

Look into the hollow eye sockets of this shadowy visage and tell me the truth...

...are you feeling hungry?

And check out the contrast on this one: it's all sweet pastel ribbons & bows, but with a doorway into the Twilight Zone:

That bear's face says it all: "What kind of filling did you use?!?"

Compared to these, the more traditional sonograms look positively cuddly. They still make for some Wrecktastic cakes, though:

Hmm. What do you suppose it really is, Hannah M.?

And if you think that airbrushing is bad, check this out:

I think that's supposed to be a side view of the mom's torso, which makes her...a headless nudist with a skin condition? Mmm, tasty.

And you know it didn't take long for someone to combine these two ideas:

"Hey, y'all! Come check out this black & white TV lodged in my belly!"

Thanks to Wreckporters Kathleen E., Connie P., Thomas S., & Summer R.!

- Related Wreckage: First Impressions

« Good Luck! | Main | This Should Even Things Out »

Reader Comments (209)

Is the cake with the side view supposed to say "little pink socks or blue building blocks"? Is it a double wrecktastic?

Karey

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKarey

I thought ultrasounds were for baby books, not baby shower cakes. This is SO disturbing!

reepie: These cakes totally are reepie...

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBryna

Children's television programming is really branching out. Teletubbies having babies...seems a little wrong to me, as they all sound about 2 years old.

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTeDiouS

I'm just cracking up! Thanks for using my pic! So freaky!

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

That is the most vile disgusting thing I have EVER seen! Creep me out! So not okay

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkittykill

That last one reminds me of the football helmet groom's cake! LMAO!

I'm with you - it just doesn't work on a cake...

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDea

Amid all the sonograms, did anybody notice the inscription on Wreck #5? "Little pink socks OR Blue building blocks?" Somehow I think that's even funnier than the picture and the airbrushed nude!

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterC'est moi

Utterly disgusting. But at least Teletubby-mommy seems to get the joke, or at least keeps the neo-baby in perspective. The others, ah, I must turn my head and retch.

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterZhoen

Oh my dear lord.

That's what keeps running through my head.

Just... Oh my dear lord.

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

Portal guns at ready. Getting ready to jump. The cake is NOT a lie. Right? Right?

WV: crible -- too many hours with Aperture science puzzles. My brain is cribled

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Ew. Those are awful! I'd rather have carrot jockeys!

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter:::b r a n d i:::

okay, effing disgusting. disgusting. i imagine that cutting into-and eating-a sonogram wreck is sort of akin to, or representative of, eating the fetus. uck. uck. uck.

is there no shame anymore? or decency? decorum?

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

*shiver* ugggh...those are just creepy!

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJaevenStar

EW!

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

those 3D ultrasound thingies really creep me out. they always look like creepy aliens or something. I'm sure i won't be saying that with my own baby.. lol.. but those aren't my babies. and i definitely wouldn't wanna eat a cake with them on it. Maybe they'll have placenta cakes soon enough. lol or maybe they already have them.

I think it's a tasteless idea. Not very cute or sweet or amazing at all.

If someone gave me a cake like that for my babyshower.. i admit that i would be quite upset over it.
: //

Sick.

btw.. that cow fistula thing has me upset even more. WTF is up with that??!?!?! : /////

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGiusi.

O my God, I LOVE the Teletubby-Mom-Cake!!
Roflcopter

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIndy

Is the last one the fifth Teletubby? Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, Lala ...OH!

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

"O, my therapist,
the horrors! Please tell me that
The cake is a lie!"

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Very, very creepy. Who would even think about doing this?

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLindalou

Ewwww!

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMari

Freaky! Just freaky! We had regular ole cupcakes at my shower. I'm relieve no one thought of doing something like this!

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

Ok i peed myself laughing at these. I can not imagine hacking into my baby's u/s and then EATING it! Hello Praying mantis type behavior!! However i do think the last cake is quite funny!!!

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPink Haired Momma

On the one hand I am completely dumbfounded, and horrified. On the other hand, if people out there didn't think this was a good idea, then I wouldn't have a wreck to laugh at.

I think I'll stick with horrified and add it to my list of reasons not to have children.

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYota Armai

I love how the airbrushed belly cake isn't smooth and makes it look like the momma has stretch marks. LOL

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBobbi

It's a Yirl!

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteraliciajennifer
July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPam Walter

Are people seriously supposed to EAT these?
Ugh.

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermhb

At least the last one was decently clothed! LOL.

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Pink socks or blue building blocks," yay, let's start in with the gender stereotyping before the poor li'l bastige is even born! In further wreckiness, I can't even translate what the glob up above "pink" is meant to say.

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTeratoMarty

Why . . . why . . . WHY in the name of all that is good and decent and holy would people think it's a good or cute idea to SLICE up and EAT a picture of a baby?! I have a problem with photo cakes in general for the same reason, but to use an ultrasound pic ups the creep factor about 100x.

Should I ever reproduce and don't have the good judgement of my Mom or sister to order my shower cake, I think I'll be doing it myself!

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdesibarbossa

"a headless nudist with a skin condition"!!!!-- I want THAT on a t-shirt.

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJaclyn

Oh my God. I just threw up a little.

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBill's Bayou

While obviously wrecktastic, I do find the last one kinda cute.

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think that last one could be the daughter of Flat Stanley and Laa-Laa.

I'm scared of what the child of the aforementioned cake-person will look like.

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpurplewowies

It is truly amazing that people think this stuff up.

If someone were to serve a photo cake at a funeral though, then I think it would truly be monstrous.

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

I know some species eat their offspring but I thought we were a bit more civilized!

Spooky, weird, creepy and disturbing all come to mind.

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGraceful Moments

ack!

'm.night shamalayn'
classic line right there..don't care who you are...lol.

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMy Life and My Loves

OMG. That is just wrong. How to wrecks like this continue to be created in light of modern technology. Don't all decorators know dang good and well they might end up here if they make something hideous???

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

Gahhhh.

Words fail.

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermadrobins

You know what's coming next... Thanks to 3D sonograms, it won't be long until you can get a shower cake shaped like the unborn fetus. You can already get a model to work from: http://tinyurl.com/l7unba

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

It's really too bad, since IMO all the cakes (yes, even the nude mommy airbrush and the belly cake) are really cute!

With the sonograms though...I would just feel kind of creepy cutting into that. 0_o

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

Those are revolting.

I have to go throw up now.

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarji

The last one is a Teletubby on maternity leave!

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCyn Teacher

The Flat Stanley of pregnant women! :) That was my favorite!

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBailey's Leaf

So if we ever have a baby, I'm not having a cake unless I make it. No torso's, no baby jockeys, or babies of any kind baked or photoshopped onto my cakes. Or bursting out of a belly.

Basically baby shower cakes are things nightmares are made of.

Maybe I'll just stick with pie for now.

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzyhomemaker

sweet Jonathon Coulton reference!

M. Night Shyamalan lives across the street from my friend's great-uncle! His house is HUUGE. Maybe so he can think up creepy sonogram horror movies.

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKait

Reminds me of a quote from The Hogfather by Terry Pratchett:

"Do you like children?"

"Not raw."

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMorganrrific

Where do you find these things?

I'm almost tempted to call up a bakery and say, "I just miscarried due to trisomy 14. Could you suggest a cake to commemorate the event?" Because I almost want to know what they'd come up with.

(Sorry if someone else has had a trisomy 14 loss and finds this macabre. I'm one of those people who copes with inappropriate humor.)

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

Wow! Every day I look forward to checking your blog for a good laugh. Thanks! They just keep getting better!

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJo

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