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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jan092009

How to Make Your Twins Hate You

You know how I've said before that the main thing I despise about CCCs (that's cupcake cakes, for you newbies) is all the icing slathered in the gaps? And how "cupcake mosaics", or CCCs that use individually iced cupcakes, aren't quite so bad?

Yeah, I think I'm going to have to rescind that.

And to think I was horrified at the split sheet cake. Yowza.

Let's see: moldy camo and blue roses. [Chandler Bing voice] Could this BE any more wrong, Ila P.?

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Reader Comments (162)

Just a thought...Perhaps the cake is for two people sharing close or same birthdays and the cupcakes represent their ages. Maybe Jenny is the mother who would be 36 if I counted correctly. Again, if I counted correctly, that leaves the son Vernon to be 16 years old. That't realistic.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJodie

Oh dear. Oh dear. And I have a wreck i bought just to post here. Will be sending it along shortly. It is military themed as well... Oh I can't wait...

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGrace

Wow that is horrible! Yes, you can tell who is favored!

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter~* N *~

You probably don't hear this much, but I want to thank Cake Wrecks for giving me my appetite back. It wasn't this cake that did it. It was some of the Sunday Sweets, and reading the descriptions of the cakes (chocolate cake with raspberry filling!) on the decorators' sites. I've been sick with a stomach bug for the last couple of days, and I finally feel like eating again. Thanks Cake Wrecks!

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjackie31337

Egads, that's aweful. Poor Vernon.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter80s Queen

...and maybe Vernon will be glad that nobody can see his cupcakes anyway.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter80s Queen

What's worse? The fact that the person's name is Vernon, or that he has to eat cupcakes that look as though they've been eaten and ahem...given back...already?

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaci

EEEEEEEEEEEE-YUCK!!

Gad. I hope Vernon's grandparents start a savings account for him, because not all health insurance covers psychiatric therapy.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

Camo cupcakes--for the kid you wish would disappear.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Pleuroses!

Or maybe your readers aren't familiar with The Glass Menagerie...

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlicia

Revenge of the girl twin; unlike ashley's sad side, Jenny has much more cake. Take that, Vernon! Tell Glen hello!

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDominique

So that's where my http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agar_plate" REL="nofollow">agar went.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRev'd Chris Larimer

Ugh! As someone who had to share a birthday cake her entire childhood (Dec 23, older brother Dec 26), I can tell you that is NOT cool, even ignoring the fact that this ccc looks like someone threw up on it.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCyndi

What's not to like? Buttercream...Good. Words spelled correctly...Good! Moldy frosting...GOOD. (best Joey voice, of course)

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

Could this BE any more wrong

It already is. The kid's name is Vernon. I think that's probable cause for CPS to come around and take the kids to a safe house.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwarren

If I were Vernon (and I actually like that name!) I would steal as many of Jenny's cakes as possible in cupcakey vengeance.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hilarious! Poor Vernon; the parents couldn't have made it more obvious about which twin they liked more...LOL!

Anna Marie

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRusty, Bandit, and Smokey

Poor Vernon...maybe she saved so much money on the crappy cake she can afford to pay for his therapy later ;)

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristie and Jason

What was the thinking behind this cake??? Was it the idea of the parents or the decorator?? Poor Vernon!!! See ya in therapy buddy!

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

Poor Vernon. This is how sociopaths are made. First it's uneven cc on dreadful ccc, next it's lighting things on fire, next cats are missing from the neighborhood. It all can be avoided by giving each kid their own darn cake.

WV=extri. it only takes a little extri effort to get a decent birthday cake.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElvira

Flowers for Jenny, barf for Vernon. How sweet.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercadylee

Besides failure in terms of decoration, the other thing I hate about CCCs is that cupcakes aren't nearly as tasty as cake...

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJeff

What a cheap way to celebrate the twins' birth. I mean, get each child a smaller cake, right? Or if you're going to do the CCC, at least make them presentable! This "CCC" is FUGLY.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDangGina

If I was Vernon I'd feel so slighted (not to mention sick.. LOL)!

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly

I totally love your blog! Way to funny!

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFoodista

My husband thinks the whole cake is supposed to be a white & rose covered gun on a camo background. I give him points for imagination.

I suspect that this is a husband/wife shared birthday. Jenny tried to get ol' Vern to tell her what he thought would look nice on a cake. Presented with a typical display of manly preferences, she caved and went with the camo.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Scary. Just plain scary.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSport's Mom

What the hell?

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Mother always did like Jenny best." *Vernon starts sucking his thumb*

Poor Vern, now he'll have years of therapy on top of the intestinal upset from eating those stale, moldy cupcakes.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCalantha

Wow, poor Vernon. His side is much worse than Jenny's.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen L.

I like how Vernon's name is in a haven of white cupcakes.

I love the Chandler voice too. And it is soooo appropriate for this monstrosity.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I don't think the roses are that bad...but that camo is awful! I didn't even realize that's what it's supposed to be...I thought maybe there was some sort of massive food coloring explosion on that corner of the cake...

January 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHayley

I think I can guess who the favored child is here.

January 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNo-omi

Instead of Chandler, I can hear Janice squawking "Oh...my...Gawwwwwwwwd!" and Monica running around in sheer terror screaming to be woken from this horrible cake nightmare. Joey would eat the whole thing in a heartbeat though :-)

Word verification - ratont: a contraction of "rat on it" as in, this cake would look better with a ratont.

January 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWolvie Girl

i like this idea

January 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMad Hatter

Maybe it's not gor twins, mayb e Jenny has an imaginary friend called vernon and insisted he get his name on the cake....

January 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterClair

there is just no WAY i would pay money for that horrific mess!

January 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKrista

What did Vernon do to deserve moldy cupcakes? I'm pretty sure this is the beginning of Vernon running away to join the army...

January 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWomen on the Verge

Awww poor kids!
Mothers: don't let bad cakes happen to your children!

January 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeagan

Camo just DOESN'T work for frosting. Actually, I'm now curious: Has anyone seen an appetizing cake with camo frosting?

January 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEeek!!!!

What did Vernon ever do to deserve this??

January 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

I'm guessing that Vernon is the "stepson."

January 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

just another reason to make sure your twins have separate cakes!

January 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter*~*Lis*~*

Can I just say....I am so INTO each CW entry...that I find myself doing this:

1. Open Cakewrecks page
2. Scroll down just enough to see Jen's opener.
3. Sit and ponder a moment what I think I am going to see...
4. Scroll down to view picture...and usually follows is an OMG!!!

No other blog makes read in such a specific way!!! Thanks Jen LOL

January 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennyMac

I have twins boy/girl and they are 3. I have Never combined their cakes and I NEVER will! I do like some CCC's, but I still wouldn't combine my kids cakes together. Keep up the great posts!

January 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenni

And I'm sure that Vernon was happy that his sister got, like, TWICE as much space as him. Were these people absent ont the day when the math teacher explained that when you divide something in half, the pieces should be equal?

January 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yes, getting the name "Vernon" at birth rather foreshadowed the ugly cupcakes and settled the "Mom loves you best" question early, didn't it?

January 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

If any of my children ever ask for a CAMO cake, remind me to MAKE IT MYSELF, cause whatever I came up with couldn't possibly be as aweful as all the camo cakes I've seen featured here (ok...it could, but not likely).

Really, you need to do a military theme for Veterans day or something (and follow up with a Sunday sweets to show how it's spos' to be done). :-)

January 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGale

That is just so wrong on so many levels! My son and daughter share the same birthday (although, 4 years apart). I would never do that to them! Its bad enough that they share a birthday, even worse that it's 3 days after xmas.. and to do that would just be overkill lol! Poor kids, therapy will be needed in the near future.

January 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCrystal

Wow...awful cake, I know the kids would have thought so as well...

If I had twins I would make sure each child had their own special cake...birthdays are important!

My grandson was born on my daughters birthday...and for 9 years I held the birthday celebration at my home...I had a special cake for each...

Cheers

January 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAzure Islands Designs

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