Tuesday
Jan272009
Every Breath You Take...
January 27, 2009 
This was ordered by a medical center to celebrate their Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetists (CRNAs, see?). The bakery no doubt felt very clever outfitting the nurses with giant mallets in addition to the needles ("the better to knock you out with, my dear"), but when you couple those with the stalker-ific inscription:
"Every heartbeat...
Every breath...
Every second...
We'll be watching."
...the creepiness factor pretty much goes off the hilarity scale.Every breath...
Every second...
We'll be watching."
Submitter Anony M. would also like me to point out the giant crack down the middle where the two cakes were cemented together, the black and yellow icing bleeding into each other, and the fact that this cost $150. That may all be true, Anony, but in my mind any cake that lets me reference old Police songs is well worth someone else's hard-earned money.
Reader Comments (150)
I totally thought they were dwarves/elves/gnomes, as well. Even after I read it was to honor nurses, I still didn't see scrubs, I saw dwarves. It wasn't until you said you loved that they'd given the nurses mallets that the lightbulb went on. Is that my fault? Or the decorator's?
I too thought it was a saint patrick's day cake...lots and lots of green.
Black and yellow icing make disgusting bedfellows... Sorry Steeler fans ;)
I must continue...I guess the line down the middle is to glue two sheet cakes together. NICE. and what the heck it up with the border.
Should have cost $1.50. That is a terrible cake.
Every breath you take....we'll smash you with a mallet.
bakingandmistaking.blogspot.com
I thought it was an open book about leprachauns! it just needed some four leaf clovers and it would celebrate Paddy's day!
I don't think it would keep until then though because the boarder is already looking past it's use by date!
How do these people make a living?
Wish they'd been watching me when I quit breathing...but was still conscious...during my gall bladder surgery. 'Cause THAT's what it reminds ME of.
Umm...I'd like to order the mallet next time?
Am I the only one who thought, "Finally, a Zelda-themed Wreck!"
Don't you hate when your nurses come in with mallets?
"Oh begorrah! Hey O'Malley, go grab me mallet, Mrs. Johnson won't go to sleep. While you're at it, grab me a pint, too!"
Why not throw in some pink elephants too? Because the cake wreckerator must have been inebriated.
At first I thought they were leprechauns drinking from huge beer mugs but on closer examination I see that they are leprechauns drinking from huge beer mugs while holding tiny collapsed umbrellas...
Every breath you take...every move you make...every single day, every word you say--GIANT MALLETS!!!
A little off-topic, but "Certified" "Registered" Nurse Anesthetists? Isn't that title-riffic overkill?
CRNAs, step right up and receive your Certificate of Redundancy Certficates!
I thought they were elves holding signs. Or dentists. Equally as creepy.
WV: Prook; pretty spooky. This cake is prooky.
People, people, people, if this is a full sheet cake, and it looks as though it might be, that serves 108 servings. $150 divided by 108 = $1.38ish per serving. That's NOTHING, any custom cake decorator worth their salt charges at least $3.00 per serving. Now, I'm not saying this is an excellent example of custom cake work, but at $1.38 per serving, you get what you pay for!
Okay....I thought it was cool. Not $150 worth of cool, but still. Yes, at first glance I thought 'Leprechauns?' but once you look at it you can see the scrubs.
Also, I totally thought the idea of anesthegologists (sp?) with mallets was hilarious.
This is definitely not the worst Wreck here. The characters are kinda cute, the lettering is neat enough. On the whole it was poorly done, but not catastrophic.
LOL! Working in a hospital I thought this was pretty hilarious. Anesthetists have a rep for being kinda quiet and reserved. Who would of thought they have a deliciously wicked sense of humor? Love the mallets!!
Leprechauns was my first thought, but with needles? "You'll NEVER find my pot of gold, NOW!"~~> bwahaha! $150.00 is really what they paid? WTF? highway robbery!
I think the bleeding icing is very appropriate for this particular cake.
Totally creepy and I kind of want to order it for my sister's birthday.
This is what happens when you don't have insurance. Insurance would've written off $148.62 and the cake would've really cost $1.38. Oh well.
And I thought this was a cake to celebrate the newest shape of Lucky Charms... Hearts, Stars, Rainbows, 4-leaf Clovers, Horseshoes, and MALLETS!
Leprechauns and Elves and Striking Gnomes...
Oh My?
I wouldn't mess with nurses with syringes (or mallets) for a cake this wrecked I'd give it away for free!
As a nurse I think this is hilarious! I don't love the cake, but I love the posting.
$150 for a heinous brown, black, yellow, green & white cake with Notre Dame mascots? It had better be half the size of my dining room table for that price.
Anyone notice the tri-colored writing palette? The "be" is in black. Fail.
Wow! $150.00 for that!!!
You know, when the song was popular, we used to add our own doggerel to it, including "Every leaf you rake," "Every corn you flake," and of course "EVERY CAKE YOU BAKE!"
If you squint a little, the one on the left even looks kinda like Sting in the bleach-blond days.
I'm another one that thought it had something to do with St. Patty's Day.
The fact that those are nurses is VERY creepy. I guess they were going for the "knock the patient out" with the mallets???
Alex
badfirstdates.blogspot.com
What would possess them to make green scrubs and blue booties?
I guess it goes along with the whole stalker theme of standing out with hammer and needle for every breath you take.... every move you make... every bond you break every step you take... they'll a be a watchin' you!
Harrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
No no, $150 was what they "normally" charge. I'm sure their insurance was only billed $47.59.
Or maybe they got the money up front.
$150??? Tell me you're joking.
I refuse to believe someone actually paid $150 for this. Or that someone in their right mind would charge $150 for a SHEETCAKE. That's right, I'm calling shenanigans on Anony M! Stop lying! ;)
Whenever I have to wake up from anesthesia my head hurts so badly that I *wish* someone would hit me with a mallet. That said, I feel bad about this one - it looks like someone worked so hard and stretched his creativity so far, then screwed up so much. I'd tell the wreckerator to keep taking risks until someone appreciates his art, but first he needs to practice smoothing out his foundation layer and study the color wheel.
It looks like someone frosted a piece of cardboard, right down to the fold in the center. If a flattened cardboard box is what you're going for...contact this bakery.
I thought it was a St. Patrick's day cake. Yikes!
Wow, seems it was a good idea in someone's mind, but didn't translate well. I was figuring the green uniforms might be that hospital's dress code for CRNAs (like the OR staff at the hospital where I work wear blue-green scrubs). And the words make sense, though putting them in a way that resembles a Police rip-off is hilarious.
And WTF? $150 for that? Seriously, that hospital needs to spend its money better. Ouch.
WF: skerof. The price of the cake makes me skerof that hospital's Admin staff.
Why mallets? Why? WHYYYYY??????
Aaron, I think "Registered Nurse" is generally a title in and of itself so you can tell your RNs from your LVNs. Therefore, they would need to be separately certified to hit people with mallets. (it's a special nine week training *nods*)
"You there...cake or death?"
$150! I am obviously in the wrong business. Forget the fact that I have no talent for cake decorating. That obviously isn't a requirement!
Is anyone else disturbed by the fact that the mallets look like pillows?
Like maybe they're going to smother some patients with them....
Definitely Keebler elves right there.
At least I'm not the only one who read the caption and thought, "Nurses? I thought they were leprechauns..."
I thought they had green beards! ROFL
I thought they were beer-guzzling leprechauns too! And I thought CRNA was some Irish holiday, misspelled of course.
Oh my, why do people pay for these things? Oh yeah, because we're too lazy to make our own cakes!
I really liked the little people in scrubs. They were cute. I think it's pretty close to Hospital-issue green, actually.
The rest of the cake, yeah, wrecktastic.
Aaron, they are called CRNAs because they are also Registered Nurses. The title needs to have the designation "Registered" Nurse to differentiate it from a "Pratical" nurse, aka "Vocational" nurse.
So yeah, it appears redundant, but there's a method to the madness.
The "mallets" are supposed to be surgical lights.
This is seriously disturbing. And what's up with the black and yellow frosting trim? Gag!
Bonnie and Alaina: Your comments made me laugh harder than the original caption!
Come on! Those mallets surely eek this one out of "wreck" status. That's funny!
OMG, I don't know what's scarier: the cake or the price!! I wonder why some people are allowed to be called "professional"!! LOL!!
Aah! Horrifying! Unsanitary!
WHY is that woman's hair not under her scrub cap?!
Otherwise, hilarious cake, and my CRNA father agrees.