Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Aug202008

Why Are the Children Screaming?

"I don't get it - we just brought out the cakes, and poof! Mass hysteria!"



I'm not sure which is worse: Dead "Lips" the Clown or Homicidal Horned Boo-Boo here. On the plus side, I'm guessing any parent who serves these will never have to buy circus tickets for the kiddies ever again. Of course, that benefit might be slightly offset by all the therapy those kids are going to need...

Stephanie L. and Katie H., do you suppose these decorators had TCE's as children? (That's "Traumatic Clown Encounter".)

« In Memory | Main | Celebrity Wrecks »

Reader Comments (90)

Either of those would cause coulrophobia (intense fear of clowns) in anyone. God knows I've suffered from it since I was five, infected with loathing at a Ringling Brothers Circus. Because they're not funny.

The antidote for this condition is a screening of "Shakes the Clown," with Bobcat Goldthwaite, Robin Williams, Julie Brown, Florence Henderson (in a black slip, with hickies and clown make-up on her neck). It's been called "the 'Citizen Kane' of alcoholic clown movies."

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTana

Y'know, if they would have cut a couple of holes in the lid, the first clown wouldn't have suffocated like that.

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSean

Even as an adult, I'm scared of clowns. These clown cakes are almost as frightening as the real thing.

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Wow, those are hideous. The bottom one is probably the worst.


Adozeneggs - I made those too! Only... mine were dead :D

flickr.com/tracy_marie

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPoptart

can't sleep....cake will eat me...

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

*shudder*

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterone-eared pig

Bah ha ha! These cakes are great scary clowns! I especially like the dead one. (wtf!)

At a family breakfast in a restaurant the other day, my 4-year-old nephew was directed to color the clown on his paper placemat.

"Noooo...I don't like clowns. I'm scared of them."

If children are supposed to love clowns, but all the children I know are scared of clowns, then WHO REALLY LIKES CLOWNS?

ugh.

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRachael M.

I've never been afraid of clowns but I'd hate to run into one of those in a dark alley.

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

::shudder::

And adozeneggs... I hate those plastic clown heads. When I was little they were ubiquitous on cupcakes.

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSunny Lea

The only clown who ever deserved & got any respect was Homie D. Clown on In Living Color.

"Homie don't play dat!"

Mo's mom

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The 1st cake reminds me of the head in the crystal ball at Disneyland's Haunted Mansion ride! lol

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCece

scary cakes indeed!

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterinquisitivesensitive

"Are you still scared of clowns?"

whispers "yeah".

Hideous cakes indeed. Mmmm, dead clown, serve it up!

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterApache1228

You would think that kids who are scared of clowns would LOVE the first one, where the clown is dead. I fail to see the problem. ;o)

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRuth

My grandmother used to gift us with hideous clown decorated items. She gave me a creepy clown painting that I had to cover up at night in order to sleep.

She would have loved these cakes.

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

ROFL I LOVE number two!!!!!!!!! I have GOT to show my friend Kim, she has serious clown phobia and will die laughing when she sees her fears validated in cake form!!!!

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJana B

Can't sleep...clowns will eat me.
Oh, someone else already said this...oh well!

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterVanessa

The second one made me think "That's and ICP (aka Insane Clown Posse) cake. Frightening!"

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterApril

That first cake makes me happy. I hate clowns and the "x" eyes makes me think he is dead. One down, many MANY more to go! LOL OK so maybe killing them is a little harsh, perhaps just hosing that makeup off would work.

August 21, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwhywouldyouknitthat

holy cow. my husband sent me the link to your site and i just cried several real tears just looking at the pictures alone, then was practically bawling reading the commentary. i actually had to blow my nose afterwards. thanks! i needed that and look forward to enjoying more of your cake wrecks in the near future. keep up the great work. the world needs you.

August 21, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermeauxjeaux

Here's a cake to go with other non-cake cakes!
http://homepage.mac.com/crmichaud/0706wowwedding/sushiweddingcake.html

August 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

My, that first bozo is wearing a perfectly lovely shade of lipstick *snickers*

~Kia

August 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKierra

Meanwhile, why is Dead Lips in a glass bowl???

August 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKlara J

somewhat resembles the joker.

August 21, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfueledbylil

Horrific looking! I would not want that at my party.

August 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

This reminds me of an episode of that really wonderful MTV show, "Real Life" or "True Life" or whatever it's called, in which the 15-year-old girl who just wanted to go on dates with cute boys and invite friends over to her house like a normal girl had . . . CLOWN PARENTS! And when she had a birthday party at her house, her parents decided to leave to get pizza for everyone and return WEARING SCARY CLOWN MAKE-UP! And the girl's poor friend, who was terribly afraid of clowns, had to spend the entire party cowering in the corner near the bronze statue of a clown with its pants down. Good times.

August 21, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterplumpdumpling

"To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've
wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went
to the circus, and a clown killed my dad." (Jack Handey)

August 21, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterthe unreliable narrator

I will never forget when I was babysitting a 3 year old little boy and we were at the pool. A clown showed up to do a show and he FREAKED OUT and asked if we could leave. As we walked by the clown (I was carrying him) he tucked his head down onto my shoulder and said, "I don't want to see it!" I will never subject my future children to clowns.

August 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterErin

I am going to have nightmares now. Thanks for that.

August 21, 2008 | Unregistered Commenternancypearlwannabe

Rachael M. said...

"If children are supposed to love clowns, but all the children I know are scared of clowns, then WHO REALLY LIKES CLOWNS?"

I've wondered that myself. It seems like something adults assume kids will like, but why don't those adults remember being scared of clowns when they were kids?


The second one reminds me of Will Ferrel's character in Zoolander. It must be the hair.

August 21, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbionelly

... and then you cut it and all this red frosting BLOOD spuirts out.

August 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Nonetheless, I still want to eat that first clown's face.

August 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterM

OHMYGAD. hilariously scary!

August 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterlyndsay

I hate clowns! They should be banned from all things related to children. Along with mimes, mascots, and those street performers that paint themselves gold or silver and stand there like statues until you walk by... so much evil in the word! Cakes are supposed to make everything better. Which is why they need bacon cake!

August 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterashleybayles

Just what you need, Pennywise on a cake!

August 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNykie

my three year old has fallen in love with the clown cake (the one with yellow hair). she keeps asking me if she can have one!

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermister tumnus

I know the first clown looks like a dead clown, but unless I'm mistaken, its a replica of the Conklin Clown.

You can check out the article about them (and see the logo) here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conklin_Shows

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKristina Dniprenko

My 6 year old didn't think they were scary.. When she saw the second pic she laughed and said, "Look Goldilocks is a boy wit black and red. That's silly." That cracked me up.

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTeeKayOh

Clowns have never been my favorite entertainment. Now they are way way way down the list ;) xx

October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

The first cake's dead, Jim.

March 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTheCreepyTribble

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>