Dead Men May Tell No Tales, But Wrecked Cakes Sure Do.
September 19, 2008 
Avast, ye lily livered lubbers! Did ye not know it's Talk Like a Pirate Day?
Now raise yer mugs to winsome wench Kia M., whose bilge-water Wreck here is evidence of some focsal swab drinking up and yo-ho'ing a bit too much while on duty. Mayhaps this is why the rum is always gone, eh, maties?
That sea-sick writing and algae-ridden muck creeping up the sides should earn some scurvy swabbie a one-way ticket to Davy Jones' locker - and seriously, what self-respecting pirate keeps giant yellow inflatable flotation devices onboard? It's totally messing with the color scheme, and don't get me started on that neon "rave" ladder...er...wait, I mean...Arrrr! Yellow bad!
Shiver me soul, I'm running out of pirate lingo, me 'arties. I best be gettin' back to the Pirate ride over at Disney for a refresher course.
Reader Comments (59)
I think sweetie is a bit old for a pirate cake.
Wow...talk about a 'Poop' Deck....
There are much better confectionary ways to celebrate talk like a pirate day. Linked are the cupcakes I made for work today :-)
ditto... If this was my "20" cake, I think I'd shoot myself, er, walk the plank.
Yer doom be at hand, ye scurvy bucko...now, where's my bottle of rum?
I agree that a 20 year old might be a bit too old for a pirate cake AND to be called sweetie.
What is up with the "H" in Happy? Was the ship rocking when she decorated it?
amused: I posted about TLAPD and Cake Wreck today!
ewwww poop deck indeed! i can't help but wonder is SWEETY 20 months or 20 years old?
Arrrrrgh...did they decorate that during an earthquake?
Cap'n Madd Jenny Kidd says, the scallywag who made that one needs to be keelhauled!
Aaarrrgh me pirate friends... looks like they thought they needed to BLOB the deck instead of SWAB the deck! Ick!
LMAO, that is horrible!
~Hyla
http://earthyfinds.blogspot.com
Oh my. OH OH My. That cake has already been pillaged.
Glad you celebrated Talk Like A Pirate Day! http://blackwordswhitepaper.blogspot.com/2008/09/aaaaaargh-ten-things-you-need-to-know.html
I got a Miffy-cake, when I turned 20...however, that was on request.
This is a silly exuse for a cake, imho...
Arkarian-Kamui
Oh, that is horribly awesome. :)
Um, that brown border looks like it's straight from the butt. Hopefully, it's just frosting...
The people saying a 20-year-old is too old for a pirate cake are clearly not anywhere close to 20 themselves. Pirates are quite popular these days, especially with the Pirates of the Caribbean movies--at my college (I just graduated), there's a thriving pirate club! I would love to have a pirate cake for my 22nd birthday... though, er, not one that looks like that.
P.S. I'm not sure http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fo%27c%27s%27le" REL="nofollow">fo'c's'le is an adjective.
Yarrr! At least "sweetie" was spelled correctly!
That be one fugly poopdeck though with all that poop posing as decoration! Methinks even Captain Jack Sparrow would not make do with that decor scheme.
Methinks the "algae" coming up the sides of the "ship" look like meconium that should be in the baby's diaper in the previous blog entry.
Avast! Hope the cake was edible!
WOW! That is amazing! I work at a restaurant that does this cake quite often, but here's what it's supposed to look like!
http://www.decopac.com/detail_16499__1-1-14.html
Avast, ye mateys! Our ship has been attacked by the dreaded Goo Monster! Run for ye lives!
Just what IS the black goo supposed to represent, anyway? Everything else seems pretty clear but that poo goo has me stumped.
What is that black stuff supposed to be? It looks like the "presents" my chihuahua left in the floor when I was a kid.
"Arrrr, matey, watch yer back! There be a monstrous huge number twenty behind ye! Those scurvy beasts'll rip yer head clean off!"
(In other words... wrong cake for a number candle.)
Arrrrr! This be the funniest blog on the net. I be checking from sunup to sundown. yarrrrgh!
Judging by the link that hyla posted, the gobs of...algae stuff...are the Krakken's tentacles.
Looks pretty believable to me.
[/sarcasm]
I think those black blobby things are supposed to be the Krakken's tentacles, lol.
yes that is a sad excuse for what that cake was supposed to look like, thanks for the link annette. I made a pirate ship cake last year FOR MY 4 YEAR OLD! It looked WAAAAAY better and I'm definately no professional!
--Angie
whoops! Annette posted the link. My bad.
What's with all the poop?
I mean, uh, shiver me timbers. That deficatin' 'as got me hurlin'!
Thanks for posting what the actual cake is supposed to look like, Annette. It really doesn't look half-bad if you let a TRUE professional do it.
thanks annette for finding what this cake is supposed to look like.
Holy crap, it should have looked GOOD!
The disgusting black smears are apparently supposed to be octopus tentacles. Ooops.
ugh, we offer this cake where i work...
trust me, no matter how hard you try, it ALWAYS looks bad.
Oh..my...
I used to work in a grocery store bakery that carried these cakes (thanks Annette for posting what it "should" look like).
And not only did the cake kit come with every plastic item (the characters, helm, etc.) but it also came with a detailed card for the decorators on how this cake is made. I mean, these cards had everything from what size icing tip to the exact formula for making the colors!
How this cake got so off course is anyone's guess.
Just a friendly note: "who's" should be "whose." :)
I find something about this cake very endearing. yes, it's a wreck, but i'm sure the mom who made it put a lot of love and effort into it. i'm not sure why i'm having this reaction to it. but i think the consideration behind the pirate theme, and the fact that mom went out of her way to make it for her son that is most likely a little ungrateful and angsty, is really innocent and cute. i don't know what has come over me.
Wow, that's amazing and i like this
Nothing says Happy Birthday like a lot of brown & yellow!
...20??? Hahahahaha!
I wonder if she invited all his freinds over for cake and pirate party games too!
We used this for my sons Pirate birthday party a few months ago (he's 3). I hated it, but it sure tasted good! HAHA
What on earth is the black stuff oozing down the side? Combined with the doody-brown "walls" built up along the edge, I see an Ex-Lax inspired moment that I don't want to be a part of. Poor Sweetie.
We had this same cake from a grocery store and they did a MUCH better job on it. That "algae" supposed to be grayish-blue Kracken tentacles with little black spots on them, wrapping around the ship. This example was certainly poorly executed, for sure!!!
Er..that looks like algae or mold (?) growing up the side of the ship. Perchance it's just been dredged from the bottom of the sea, and the two on it are actually members of a pirate reenactment club?
It could happen! LOL
~Amy B
Uh, is it just me, or does that "Happy 20th" at the top look more like "hHpasdy pf20d"? than anything else?
I sincerely hope Sweetie told him to "Walk the plank"!
Kat
Oh my God, I discovered your blog today and I nearly had a cardiac arrest. Of course I had to go back and read every one of your posts from the beginning... what can I say? Thank you so much for this hilarious, disturbing, worrying and nauseating site!!! LOVE YOU!! :D
xXx
(Bethany Dean)
There used to be a Saturday morning cartoon when I was growing up called The Pirates of Dark Water. Black globs of water would attack their ship and try to kill them and such. I thought this was just an old picture of a cake made for that cartoon. But nope, those are tentacles. This cake would have made perfect sense to me growing up believe it or not.
I think that someone just threw up all over the cake and someone else tried to arrange the nuclear waste nicely to make it look like a presentable "poop deck." However everyone in this scenario failed to win. Especially sweetie...poor poor sweetie. I can still hear her sobs now!
Shiver me timbers! When I saw what the cake was supposed to look like, I was quite impressed at the execution of this cake. Maybe there are octopus tentacles that colour... it was like the decorator didn't have all the materials he/she needed and had to make do.
One thing I have learned from this blog is how easy it is to make icing realistically resemble poo. The colours, the texture... it seems so easy you almost have to try *not* to make it look like poo. :-)
My kids could have made that cake.
Why the heck does Sweetie get so many bad cakes anyway?
Phil: what's come over you is that you forgot Cake Wrecks is about professional cakes, not Mom cakes. I'd cut a Mom a break too, but someone paid for this.
Janet: until you said that, I actually had not realized there was an icing "20" in there. I just thought the "H" was REALLY out of control.
Everyone: go look at the link Annette posted, for the company that makes the plastic pieces. There are two sample pictures. I kept looking at the second one, wondering what was up with it. Why did it have scalloped edges? Ships usually do not have scalloped edges. (Ok, they usually aren't rectangular, either, but you know what I mean.) Then I looked again.
... The second picture is a cupcake cake. These people are encouraging cupcake cakes. They must be stopped.
mmmmm - I wouldn't mind licking the frosting off Capt. Jack Sparrow's boots though. . .
(did I say that out loud?)