Window Pains

So, you're opening a bakery. You've watched too much Cake Boss, opened a few dozen credit card accounts, and "sampled" enough cupcakes to confidently differentiate between "ganache" and "monkey poo."

What next?

The window display, of course!

This is your place to shine, aspiring baker! Show the people what you can really do!

Ah.

I see you're of the "writing on Styrofoam rounds with a Sharpie" skill set.

We can work with that.

After all, the most important thing is getting customers through the door - even if it is only to ask, "Dear God, what IS that THING?!"

It's a pacifier. You know, a cake for suckers?

Now, a good window display should appeal to both kids and kids at heart. Remember, cakes are all about fun! And color! And post-apocalyptic death tableaus!

Just think of all the gas-mask party favors you could make. Ooh, and festive radioactive warning streamers! Glowing fruit punch? Mushroom cloud side-cakes? Really, the possibilities are endless.

Or, if you're limited on space, you could always kill two birds with one horrendously disturbing Barbie cake:

Hey, how do you think Barbie paid for all those different careers, kids?

Well, bakers, however you choose to design your displays, just be sure they communicate friendliness, poise, and professionalism.

And also a strong grasp on the spelling of "ho bag":

Because, really, nothing is worse than a misspelled "ho bag" on your cookie cake.

Thanks to Amber P., Bianca S., Lauren C., Lauren R., Betsy R., & Dana F., who wonder if perhaps this showed up on C.M.'s performance review.

*****

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

You Say Hello, And I Say Goodbye

The arrival of a new baby is usually a time of joy and celebration.

Er...usually.

"Well, the stork was busy, so we figured we'd just chuck the lil' tyke out around 30,000 feet. Why? Is that a problem?"

You know, people are always talking about the sweet little toes and fingers and stuff, but you want to know the CUTEST part?

"Jus' wookit dat widdle ootsey wootsey skulley wulley!"

"Hey, anyone else think Julie's looking a little tense today?"

"It's all downhill from here, kid.

"MWUAH-HA-HA-HAAA!!"

Ahem.

"We call this one the 'Tub of Love:'"

"What do you mean, you're not supposed to put babies in full bathtubs?

"Ok, ok, FINE."

[splashing]

[thump]

"Better?"

Thanks to Elizabeth S., Marisa T., Anne J., Emily L., & Jilissa K. for throwing up the baby with the bath water.

Oh, throw OUT?

Um... sure, ok, thanks for that, too.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot: