Any Occasion Will Do

I'm the type who thinks cakes are good for any occasion. Apparently, so are the people who ordered these:

After all, how often do you get to congratulate someone on "completeing" their jail sentence?

Wow, that often? Ok, never mind.

(Say, are those orange things supposed to be flowers or carrots? Either way, I'd be sorely tempted to stick some plastic babies on them.)

Alright, for those of you who are being congratulated: make sure you always thank the ones with the fat checkbooks.

Yay appropriate quotation marks! And thank goodness the decorator didn't choose to take a more literal approach to a cake celebrating potty-training.

Pete and Pete's lady, this one's for you:

Frozen peas only go so far,
So Ladies, here's a tip:
Be sure to buy your man a cake
When he gets the ol' snip-snip!

Yeah, I know: I missed my calling as a traveling troubadour.

Thanks to Wreckporters Monique R., Kyla S., and Stephanie P.!

Also, in the interests of full disclosure: the Bail cake was a gag. The others are legit, as far as I know.

Mixed Signals

Some cakes are hard to read, and for once I'm not talking about the handwriting:

A screaming baby paired with "congratulations"? Ah, that's subtle sarcasm at its snarky finest.

Here's a tip gleaned from years of family reunions: the second Mrs. Klass asks "What's that supposed to mean?", it's time to leave. Trust me.

Of course some cakes are more subtle, like this one:

"We'll wish you luck, but we don't have to be happy about it."

Or just baffling, like this one:

I'm not sure if this guy is supposed to look afraid of being eaten, disapproving, or in pain from his "shades" melting onto his face. Say, there's a bit of unintentional ironic realism for you: sunglasses melted onto the face of the sun. Heh.

If Mr. Future's-So-Bright's feelings are ambivalent, though, these cookies are clearly ticked off:

Poor angry cookies. At least their pain is my sugary gain - and I get the added bonus of talking smack to my food. "What, you lookin' at me, punks? Huh? How's about I drown you in some milk before biting your heads off, then? Yeah, not so puffed up now, are you, tough guys?"

And finally [smirk],

All that black - and black roses, no less! - makes this look more like a final retirement cake, if you catch my drift. It gets double Wreck points for the "Retiremet" misspelling, too.

Brittany M., Elizabeth G., Jessica C., Linda N., Monique R., and Jill C., many "thanks".