I think this needs a whole new category...

Nothing tells Dad you love him quite like a slab of cake that looks like bloody meat. Yeesh. However, since it was executed well (get it? "executed"? I kill myself. Get it? I "kill" myself? I'm slaying you in the aisles, I know. Get it?) I've had to invent a whole new cake category:

[Drum roll, please]

The new category IS...
"Close-Your-Eyes Cakes"

[cymbal crash]

Because while we can appreciate the talent required to make a cake that looks like, for example, a bloody steak (I mean, just look at that fat casing!), we don't really relish the thought of eating it with our eyes open. We're pretty sure we'd be half-cringing up until the last second, praying all that "blood" really is icing.

It's Rude to Stare

Even if the shower cake IS modeled after the guest of honor's ginormous rack.

I have a confession to make: I really don't like attending baby showers. There's all the frippy little decorations, lots of cooing "mom" types, and those obligatory shower games which were undoubtably invented by a woman on the verge of a murder/suicide. However, I think this cake would liven up your average baby shower. I mean, just watching a room full of women in flamingo capris and sun dresses trying to compliment, much less cut, this cake would be bona fide entertainment. "Why, Doris" (looking mom-to-be up and down) "it looks just like you! Er, would you like a slice of boobie?"

Thanks to Kate E. for the photo!