My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Baffling Star Wars Wrecks That Demand Answers

May the 4th is coming, young padawans, so this is the perfect time to ask something about Star Wars that's been bugging me for YEARS.


::dramatic pause::


What the heck is up with this cake design?

It's supposed to look like that. I checked.


As you can see, it's a weirdly patriotic, abstract, head-floaty situation.


The dot pattern shifts around almost as much as the official explanation for midi-chlorians.

"No, really, they were there all along, Luke." #DealWithIt

And why the candy cane stripes? Why these colors? WHY DARTH VADER'S HEAD? What does it all meeeean?


Granted, Strangers Things have happened.


Darth Demogorgon: The Empire Turned Upside Down.


While we're talking here, maybe one of you can tell me what these are:

All I see are fish. I'm so confused.


Which brings me to the ULTIMATE baffling Star Wars design. This thing's got it all: Abstract explosions. A kiddy pool. Darth attacking bird droppings. And of course, more dots.

[whispering] It's a Masterpiece of Mystery.


So in conclusion, minions:

May the fourth is coming.

Brace yourselves.


And thanks to M.L., Anne, Autumn A., Ruthie G., Anony M., Hilary G., & Brent K. for reminding us to use the forks. Otherwise icing gets everywhere.


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And from my other blog, Epbot:

« Star Wars Sweets For Revenge of the 5th | Main | Cinco De Mayo Madness »

Reader Comments (32)

Did Yoda write that last cake?

May 3, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

1) 2) 3) Maybe these are political ads and Darth Vader is running for president of the United States now. (A guy has to start somewhere and build up to the emperor of the galaxy). I think it would be a one-sided contest, for everyone would be Forced to vote for him.
4) Vader has met his match. He's being devoured by a Sith-eating, Force-immune giant starfish.
5) Fat X-wings that can go under water? Sea turtles that can use the Force? A baker that made something up just to get a decoration on the cake? (Nah, can't be the last one...can it?)
6) Why is Vader riding a flying carpet and firing flaming Force arrows at the sun?
7) Star Wars be or Star Wars not be. Is that the question?

May 3, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMike

There is always a bigger fish

May 3, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterFrankN.Stein

Looks like someone peed in the pool...

May 3, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMedith

How did you manage to work in a Hamilton reference mashed up with Star Wars AND Stranger Things??? Now that's talent!

I have no idea what the candy striped thing is supposed to represent.

May 3, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

"Now, <INSERT NAME HERE>, if you don't behave, we're going to get you a Jar Jar cake and... that's much better."

And just who gets a Darth Vader cake anyway? Your boss, sure, but who else?

May 3, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterAl the K

Yoda: The force with you be
(Sounds right to me)

May 3, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterRebe

I wonder if those mystery shapes on that one are supposed to be porgs? That's all I can come up with.

May 3, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMandy

I found a cake online that had the pattern of those top cakes, but it was more cleanly done. The frame around the edge should be a metallic silver with red stripes, kind of like an open hatch or window frame....maybe looking out at the stars.....with a creepy plastic vader mask floating around to give everyone nightmares. LOLing.

May 3, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

#5 looks like turtles to me... space turtles?? #6 looks like Vader is a space charioteer!!

May 3, 2019 | Unregistered Commenterccrow

You left out the fun detail that the Vader head has breathing sound effects. And yes it is always displayed on the design shown though no description explains it.

May 3, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterValleycat1

Yeah, I really want answers on that first cake, too! LOL! The young Jedi one looks like turtles to me. Which really doesn't clear anything up. :-/

May 3, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterCathy W.

Did you see the photo of the one to sell the Vader cake topper? It makes it look like you are looking out of a open space ship door or panel onto space.

May 3, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterPepper

Found what appears to be the origin of the Darth head cake design... the original looks like the head on a starfield, with a spaceshippy border.
This doesn't really explain anything, except to say the design comes from Decopac.

May 3, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterA. Non

And now I feel like I should clarify my post when I asked if you had seen the cake topper on the vendor site ( OF COURSE, you are skilled at googling and found it as easily as I did! I was just shocked when I saw it and the red lines, dots, and blue background actually made sense. :) So please don't be insulted by my earlier post.

May 3, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterPepper

Dots are stars

May 3, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJB

I saw this the other day on an Amazon search rabbit hole I fell into and realized this is what they are going for but I still don't know why...

May 3, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca D

The dots are supposed to stars, maybe? Like what we see in the movies' opening crawls?

May 3, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterZenfrodo

I blame this.

May 3, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterChristopher

Or rather, this.

May 3, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterChristopher

Ugh. Everybody knows it's "May the force with you be" Just ask Yoda.

May 3, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterLAW

What about the Darth Vader baby shower cake from Wuollett's?? That was the best ever Jen.

May 3, 2019 | Unregistered Commenterkymdydyt

I like the baker who put question marks after the cake. They sell it and they don't know either.

May 3, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMudmusher

Looks like it was a deliciously dark ice cream cake design in 2015:

May 3, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterSean Webb

I have just spent the entire afternoon (it's OK, I'm retired) catching up on the past two months' worth of Wrecks and Sweets. Time well spent! I know everyone has his own sense of humor, but the absolute funniest thing I saw all afternoon was the Country Song page. I laughed so hard and long at "Don't Sit on Her Dog" and the flat dog sides hurt. Also, I don't know who the "me" is in "Dropkick Me Jesus", but it proves, according to the cake, Jesus loves us even if we are a turd.
I always read the posts (Mike's are pretty great), but I think, from reading some of the comments, folks aren't reading the lines where you thank folks for their contributions. They are very clever.
Of course the whole page of cakes and comments can't be imitated or duplicated (yes, I caught up on Epbot as well). My favorites are grammatical and spelling errors.
Since I live in a very small town on the Olympic Peninsula of Washington state and really don't get out much, the site is all I will ever need......(oh, and Netflix. Our bandwidth and connection speed out here is pathetic, and that's the only streaming service we can use.)
Thanks, Jen and John, for a great afternoon!

May 3, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterCake or Death

Well here I am laughing hysterically at the fish like whatever thingies on that one cake. I can't even figure out what those are unless they were going for midichlorians either way the force was not with the wreckerators lol.

May 4, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterArleneMarie

I think in #5, the decorator was told "padawans", and heard "penguins". They're underwater, so the white tummies look blue. Or they're Little Penguins, seen from the back.

May 4, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterAA

The turtles one is a mashup between a scene of TMNT and SW. That’s the only sense my brain can make of it. (Where the turtles come out of the radioactive goo.) Maybe Yoda was watching with Skinner?

May 4, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMame

Vote Vader for governor of Montana?

I got nothin

May 4, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterEek

The funny thing is I just had to do one of these today. Mine ends up looking a lot nicer, and if I'd thought about it I'd have taken a pic (that first Vader one).... yep it's designed like that but the colors are supposed to be GRAY borders with red stripes, and the background is supposed to look like stars in the sky. Here's a link to the actual product picture....

May 4, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Some of the "official" decopac designs are just baffling. None of the bbnones for Frozen tie ins were ever good either

May 4, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterPock


a) Star Wars / Dune crossover?

b) It's HARD to keep a good Sith down. (Even if you're a shai-hulud*.)

* AKA 'sandworm'.

May 6, 2019 | Unregistered Commenterrocketride

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