My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Hawaiians Weep Tonight

OK, everybody! Sing it with me!


What does
that saaay?

A wimoweh, a wimoweh, a wimoweh, a wimoweh
A wimoweh, a wimoweh, a wimoweh, a wimoweh
A wimoweh, a wimoweh, a wimoweh, a wimoweh
A wimoweh, a wimoweh, a wimoweh, a wimoweh


In the bakery, the mega bakery

Hawaiians weep tonight

In the bakery, the mega bakery

Hawaiians scream in fright.



... flip-flop dismaaaaay.


... Those. Aren't. Okaaaaay.


Near the village, there's lava spillage

They may not last the night...

Near the village, the gummies pillage

Hawaiians flee their plight.



... beach disarraaaaaay.



... throw that awaaaaay.


[wailing and instrumental solo]


Hush my darling, don't dare, my darling

That pineapple's not right...

Hush my darling, don't stare, my darling




Aloha OY! to Anony, Deirdre, Susan K., Melissa V., Lisa & Kate & Rob, Sophie J., Karen H., Alyssa B., Patricia M., Samantha M., And Christy J., for braving their various bakeries to send these to us. It's a jungle out there.


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« I Mustache You A Question | Main | English Done Good! »

Reader Comments (35)

Brilliant! Just... genius. I am not worthy.

April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

You can’t mess with perfection, and this is Perfect in every way. Ahola everyone!

April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJansville

"... throw that awaaaaay." Excellent as always, Sharyn!

April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

Good grief! That last cake gave me a coughing fit. The poor woman is SO flat chested - and pulling her boobs up under her chin doesn't help!

April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

Bravo, Sharyn! That was brilliant!

April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMike

I knew this was a Sharyn post! Thanks for the smiles this morning and thanks (I think) for the ear worm.

You truly have a gift for song parody and the perfect place to share it. Thx Jen & John for sharing your delightful blog with the world.

April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterDebbaZoo

I hope I'm not the only one to do a double take at where they apparently took the first piece from on the headless hula girl...

April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

My bad, she's not headless. Still....

April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

That's a whole lotta Rick...


April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

I don't usually need to move my mouth to read posts... but AAAAHHH! Today. And now I have an earworm.
Well done. Brava!

April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterGreeta

That was better than the lyrics to the original Star Trek theme song: Oo-OOOH-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooohh… (Unfortunately, I just looked those up and discovered that there actually were lyrics to the original Star Trek music, really awful ones, and I'm so bummed out now.)

April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterKathy

HEP HEP? more like HELP HELP!

April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

Awww...My grandma used to say “Ahola.” She also called the state ”Hawaya,” so theorems that.

April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterKristen

That is the best rendition ever!

April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterSewingGirl

Dying. Here.

April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterRay

Hooray, a singalong post by Sharyn! Ahola, Sharyn!

What on earth is that thing on the ninth cake meant to be? A turkey? A pig? A weird coconut??

April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterAlice

I know this is a joke site, but... I guess I'm That Person who feels compelled to point out that this song has nothing to do with Hawaii.


April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterA. Non Ymouse

This is hilarious ! Ahola !

April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

Love it!!!! laughed so hard my eyes are watering

April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

I am IN HAWAII as I read this, at the airport, laughing! This one is a keeper. But those cakes aren't.

Mahalo for the ear worm and the nightmare fuel! I kept right on singing the song right through the end credits (because why not) A-weee-e-e-e-eeeeee...

April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterFairly Ridiculous

First cake:
The lesson to be learned from this is that when hiring an English/Spanish-bilingual decorator, make sure they're aware that there are also other languages besides English & Spanish!

The Barbie cake:
Well, at least they didn't but red icing dots on the centers of the "coconut shells"...
On the other hand, if they'd have put on just red icing dots & left off the tan "coconuts" they could've sold it as a bachelor party special; because let's face it, who else besides a pack of drunk, horny dudes is going to want a doll with icing on its ta-tas? That's just not going to fly at a family party...

Kid: "Mom! Can I have the Barbie from the cake? I want to lick the icing off!"
Mom: "No."
Kid: "But why?"
Mom: "Because... you shouldn't lick plastic toys, the chemicals in the plastic will stunt your growth."
Kid: "Oh. I'll wipe it off with my finger then."
Mom: "No. I don't want you doing that either."
Kid: "But--"
Mom: "I said no. I'm going to just wash it off."
Dad: "Well there's no need to waste perfectly good icing. Since I'm done growing," *winks at Kid* "I'll lick the icing off Barbie's--"
Mom: "No! Nobody's eating anything off the Barbie...I'm going to wash it off & that's that!" *gives Dad the "you're sleeping on the couch tonight" look*

The real shame is that, aside from the poor decision to clothe Barbie with skin-tone icing, the cake actually looks pretty good, even especially for a doll cake -- we know how wrong those tend to go!

Number 9: (number 9, number 9, number 9...)
Ah, yes! The extremely rare Polynesian Quasquibicentennial Poo Blossom. This botanical marvel blooms once every 225 years, & smells know...

Last cake:
Looks like a dashboard hula-girl spent a 110° day in the sun... eeesh!

April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

I don't know. Those filled cookies with the palm trees perched on top look pretty tasty. It also helps that I'm colorblind.

April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterDancing with Lasagna

Ahola, other Jennifer, you are not the only one who wondered why the first slice taken from the one cake was the, uh, hula skirt area. (REALLY??? THERE???)

You know, if you're going to make a coconut bra out of frosting, at least use coconut-colored icing, not flesh-toned. It looks like Barbie's had some unfortunate work done.

After the previous several cakes, I would totally eat the poo islands. They're the most tolerable.

Scary flotsam island: Oh, goody. We get to play the "What's Edible and What's Not" game!

Is that bacon on the next cake? Or, like, really old and gross communion wafer sheets? And why does it look like the one gummy guy is Photoshopped onto the cake?

...skipping "Throw that away" because...yeah.

Finally, Barbie's got some non-coconut-bra competition, seeing how the last one's top appears to be made out of chocolate chip cookies. You know, us flat girls like at least having the illusion of a chest, decorators.

(Why yes, I was sugared-up before reading this post. It may have sent me over the edge.)

April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterYet another Jen

Is that Hawai’i? Or the Poop Atoll (cake(s) #5) inhabited by eyeless elephant like sentient turds? (#9)

April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterLilysMama

I totally sung all of that.

April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJo

I dunno, that 'gummies pillage' cake looks okay. I mean, I wouldn't EAT it, but it LOOKS okay. :P Also, the song is amazing!!


April 24, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterAnn Marie

That huly-huly girl is serving some Frank Sidebottom Realness.

Also, I am LIVING for those animal print birthday candles.

Your Pal,


April 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterStorm

Those are flip flops? I thought it was a yellow polka dot bikini wannabe!

April 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

What song is this post making fun of, pls?

April 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterCarly

That green one in the middle looks like fun. I'd have absolutely loved that one for a birthday cake when I was a kid... even now, too!

April 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterLeona

Great post! Scary cakes! To Carly, the original song is "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" by the Tokens.

April 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

You should have seen my husbands face as I sang this out loud lol. Pretty sure the neighbors can still hear our laughter. Mwhahhahahha :D

April 26, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterArleneMarie

Is that third cake down anatomically correct? If not, what is that between the two halves of her grass skirt? Maybe a turd? Why in the name of all that's holy would you make something that sad and...wait, is her face a photo someone slapped on top of the head? I wish only to forget this ever happened.

May 6, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMary

That’s an African spiritual not a Hawaiian song lol. But very horrifying none the less.

May 10, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterKdawg

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