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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Name That Wreck!

I think we can all agree that if your name is pronounced "Elizabeth" but spelled with three "I"s and a silent "Q", then you void your right to complain when a baker gets it wrong.

However, there are times when you think the baker might have stopped to question somewhere along the line:

"Jackign?" Is that supposed to be Jacking? And if so, who names their child Jacking??

Never mind.


I've seen "Bart" turned to "Brat," "Brian" turned to "Brain," and "Tink" turned to "Fink" - but nothing beats the nickname Chris just picked up:

Words cannot express how much I hope they served this with water.

[That's right, Chris: you just got SUNDAY SCHOOLED.]


Of course, Doug's new moniker is slightly less complimentary:

But I'm sure he rose to the occasion anyway.


I like to think this is a cake for the Riddler's quintuplets:

But that's a questionable theory.

(In reality, they asked for the name to be written in Cyrillic.)


Look, bakers, I know there are lots of unusual spellings and strange name choices out there these days, but just remember:

If at first you don't succeed, 

try it again in cursive directly underneath.

See? Bob's your uncles!


Thanks to Rae Lynn, Lizz H., Tom H., Jill C., Joel H., & Stacey T. for leaving out all the silent Qs.


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And from my other blog, Epbot:

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Reader Comments (14)

Even more sadly than if they actually ARE cake wrecks, some may not be the wreckerators' fault. I was once in a play with a Christopher who called himself Christ. Back then I was still a super fundamentalist Christian, so I was positively scandalized.

Growing up near Little Rock, one of the most popular morning drive-time DJs was Bob Roberts. Maybe the baker just forgot the S on that second cake?

So to sum up, parents will call their kids just about any dang thing, and if they don't, the kids do it for themselves. People are weird.

September 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

It would not surprise me if someone actually named their child "Felony". Anything goes these days.

September 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

If it weren't for a brain stem reflex, these people would forget how to breathe. :P

September 13, 2018 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

The "Christ" happens to me all the time. I've lost track of how many insurance cards and employee IDs had to be redone because they shortened my first name to "Christ". Why they can't program their systems to use "Chris" (y'know, the common nickname that's been in use for at least a hundred years) is beyond me.

September 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterChrisPV

Christ is a fairly popular Armenian name

September 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJill

Cake #1: That's the last name. First name: Car.
Cake #2: Melanie really hated family gatherings after she went to prison. Especially her baby shower.
Cake #4: Did Doug, uh, *play* with his cake?
Cake #Last: I'm less concerned about Robert Robert than those horrible streaks on the side. If you "fixed" the name problem, couldn't you "fix" the lines so they connected, at least?
(And you know the fix would look terrible, but at least they'd be solid lines!)

September 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterYet another Jen

Props for the Monty Python audio sketch reference!

September 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLadycrim

Re "Jackign," many people for whom English is not their first language, and many others with auditory processing issues, hear a final ING as EEN or EE. Hence, Jackie = Jacking ...

September 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterElsi

Robert looks like he got some kind of weird banana on his cake. I still can't figure out what the heck it is other than the shape of a banana. As for Felony... heck I wouldn't be shocked to hear someone named their kid this lol.

September 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

had a child here named Nuremoh ( homerun backwards) and a girl was named Dixie Doodle since she was born on the 4th of July. So Jackign was probably right . there was some very strange names anymore. What ever happened to Mary, Sue, John and Charlie?

September 14, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterjust me

RE: The Cyrillic name. It's possible that if this cake request was e-mailed and the bakery didn't have a font that could handle cyrillic that the instructions actually did print out ??????? instead of the name.

Nah, I'm giving the wreckerator too much credit. Wouldn't you call the customer and check?

September 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterBW

Am I the only one who reads the B of Doug(h)'s cake as a G, just to make it even more insulting?

September 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My son is a teacher and he has a student named D'Emonic Angel. I kid you not. Poor kid goes by Angel.

September 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

My husband's name is Doug, and my phone is constantly trying to autocorrect it to either Dog or Dough. Actually, autocorrect might explain a lot of these cakes.

September 15, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

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