My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Beauty Is In The Eye Of The B Holder

Something terrible has happened to the letter V, minions. It's gone missing.


Obviously this disappearance spells disaster for V lovers everywhere, but officials claim they've narrowed their investigation to a few bold characters.


"Action words and Bs have had it in for V for years now," stated one official close to the case. "So rest assured we're having a serious talk in here about the verbs and the Bs."

The same official turned out to be a real font of knowledge. When asked about punishments, he responded, "We're looking at life sentences."


Thanks to Grace T., Leslie W., & Anna H. for putting the B in "subtle" - plus all these other words for some reason.


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And from my other blog, Epbot:

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Reader Comments (29)

Aww. My 5-year-old says Biolet instead of Violet.

August 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterM

I feel the pain. Everytime I have to give information, I make sure to spell my last name....V as in Victor, -a-n, B as in boy -a-r-e-n
"Thank you, Mr. Ban Baren...."

August 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSomebody

Genebiebe. Hahaha. Thanks for continuing to do this blog, it's a huge bright spot in my day!

August 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

I'm more concerned about the fact that last cake says "Grod bless". WHO IS GROD?

August 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterCass

I wonder if the wreckerators in question are native Spanish speakers. B and V sound very similar in that language, so it's not unusual for Spanish speakers to mix up those letters when writing in English.

August 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSeanette

"B" and "V" are very similar sounds. As an example, in English we say "love", in German they say "liebe". So it's possible that the bakers misheard it, or perhaps we may have another case of "Baker speaks English as a second language". Why no one spellchecked anything before these got written down, of course, is one of the long-running mysteries behind many of the cakes on this site.

August 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAnna T.

"Well you would get a lot of badge."

August 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSomeUsername

My maiden name starts with V and we got all variations: N, L, F, and of course, B.

August 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterRoseAnn

Does that mean I have a bajingo after all? (Elliot on “Scrubs” was much derided for saying “bajingo” rather than the medically correct term for...lady parts. NOW SHE’S GOT ME DOING IT!!) (And really scary ones have “bagina dentata”? Which somehow doesn’t sound scary. Perhaps because it sounds like a 4-year-old with a lisp.)

August 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

@Cass, perhapa they wanted Gorilla Grodd (from The Flash) to bless "Genebiebe" but they still mispelled it. Lol good luck getting a blessing from him

August 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterR.

This was a bery interesting post. I'd gibe it two thumbs up. Maybe we should leabe these poor bakers alone, you know, libe and let libe. They could habe been sick or something, maybe eben feberish. Or I guess we can do what us Cake Wreck readers always do, rant and rabe about it. If these bakers are going to do this kind of stuff, we can't show them any faboritism, can we? I can just see it now, a cake for an oceanarium that will say on it "Sabe the whales".

August 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMike

I blame Justin Viever.

August 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJules

Just one question, regarding the last cake's inscription: With that kind of time, wouldn't it be at least remotely conceiveable to hope for a leap of magic and come up with real word? At least ressurrect a word from an old "Spill and Spell" game....?

The problem may originate with the Spanish language, where B and V are pronounced the same. Taking an order over the phone, a Spanish speaker may not get the difference.

August 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAgnes

V's and B's are the same letter in Spanish. The bakers are probably not native English speakers.

August 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterElaine

Did no one else look at the 3-yea old's cake and think her name was Bidet? Just sayin'...

August 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterKate

"the verbs and the Bs"

... You didn't ... ? Oh my gosh, you DID!

August 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAnother Jen

Definitely had Spanish as their first language. I worked with Spanish speaking students for many years after returning from South America. Even the adults get B and V confused down there because they sound the same. It’s like English speakers might confuse C and K- Mark and Marc sound the same.

August 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Is it just me, or do those white things around the edge of Biolet's cake resemble bulb syringes? Why would they decorate a cake with snot suckers?

August 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterPeepBunny

“The verbs and the Bs” made my linguaphile heart laugh.

August 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

"Biba la bida loca!"

On a more serious note, if the letter v keeps going missing, perhaps we should gather them all up and put them in a secure vault. The vault can be only accessed by people with the proper authorization - a "V card," if you will.

August 9, 2018 | Unregistered Commenter3davideo

Well that last cake is so pretty. I have no clue what that last word even says lol. My brain is tired though so maybe it just died reading it half way through. Either way I am laughing lol.

August 10, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

If all of these really are cases of native Spanish speakers getting the Vs wrong, then bakeries should make sure they make them aware this is a potential problem and ask them to double check the spelling. But then, they should make sure everyone double checks the spelling of names and, well, all other words, really; but if they all did their due diligence, we wouldn't have half the funny things to laugh about!

August 10, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSusanD

There's a possible second reason for this. Many schools stopped teaching cursive writing. The b and v in cursive can look similar to someone who has trouble reading that script. Alternately, there's anti German sentiment. Or a plethora of bad colds. "Be hab bays ob making you talk!"

August 10, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

They could also be Japanese since Japanese lacks a V sound too.

By the way, to those saying the last cake says "Grod bless". There is no r in it; the G is just a bit stretched out.

August 10, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterThijs

My sister's name is Vickie. For YEARS I have called her (and sent snail-mail to her as) Bickie. She even uses Bickie as part of her email address. When I get fancy, I call her Bickerooski. LOL

August 10, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

@Kate, no, it's not just you - I was coming to say the same thing.

All these language puns make me (sic). :D

August 10, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterKai Lowell

The first one was extra funny to me because we had a Biolet composting toilet for years. I don't speak any language but English & I've misheard Bs & Vs my whole life. Have had trouble pronouncing Bs, which, considering my name, is unfortunate.

August 11, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterBonnie

“Cred Bless Crenebiebe”?

August 12, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

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