My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Missed Marks To Make You Go NOOOOOOOO

Anna D. ordered a cake to look like this top tier:

So... pink and blingy. Gotcha.


Now, before I show you what she got, have you ever seen those stress toys with the eyes that pop out when you squeeze them?

You have?

Ok, cool.

Just curious.



You can scroll down now.

Deep breaths, Jen, deep breaths. It's NOT a living thing, and those bubble things are NOT growing and/or pulsating. They're NOT.

You know what, let's just keep scrolling.



Speaking of cakes that look unfortunately skin-like, Cassie P. ordered this adorable giraffe cake:


...but instead, she got this:

There's a sound for this cake, and it goes something like:



And finally, how about a wedding cake? Wedding cakes are always fun.

OK, so Jessica ordered this cheery sunflower number:



...and I'm happy to report that the baker was extremely thorough, and managed to get everything - with only one tiny exception - entirely and completely wrong.

I think your baker grabbed someone else's cake and jammed in those sunflower headlights last second, Jessica.

But on the plus side, if you back up and squint a little - or a lot - it's totally smiling at us.


Thanks to Anna D., Cassie P., & Jessica C. for all having rhyming last initials; that makes it more fun for me, see? TEEHEE.


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And from my other blog, Epbot:

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Reader Comments (28)

Oh dear that last one!
“...It’s right, here Ray. It’s Looking. At. Me......”

June 18, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterFairly Ridiculous

1) Why would a baker put blobs of Vaseline petroleum jelly on the sides of a cake?
2) I think Cassie should be having a cow over this one. I think the baker steered her wrong and that's no bull. If I were her, I'd have really beefed about it.
3) "Number 5, alive!!"

June 18, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMike

"It puts the frosting on its skin, or else it gets the hose again"

June 18, 2018 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

The first cake is a baby girl Darlek.
The sunflower cake is the cartoon version of "aahh ooh ga" when the eyes pop out.
You do see the face, right?

June 18, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterGrrly Girl

Gee, a cow with cowpox, or are they cow patties?

June 18, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

That pink reminded me of this

June 18, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterTerri

I actually like the giraffe she got best! It's adorable! Like you want to pick it up and cuddle it, the other looks like a plastic dog toy.

June 18, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Begging your forgiveness and understanding that you might want to keep this one to yourselves...

The "she got this..." giraffe looks like it could be some kind of dong-puppet. Oh goodness, I actually typed that!

June 18, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterNot Sure Why

It must be a sign that my mind has grown too used to the gutter when I look at that second cake and see not only an inept baby-welcoming cake, but a description of how the baby was created. “...Baby, harder!”

June 18, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT


June 18, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterR.

@Grrly Girl: The cyborg opponents of the Time Lords during the Time War are written “Dalek” (although it is ALWAYS pronounced “Darlek” rhyming with “garlic”, so it is certainly a forgivable misundetstanding). The best explanation of why this is so I can find has to do with an oddity of the British accent, though the explanation makes my head hurt (and I’m sure I completely understand it), so I’ll spare you the backstory. Just know for future reference this is so, and accept it as a weird anomaly. That’s generally what I do.

(Sorry—this is what happens when you mix a Doctor Who fan with a spelling/language champion together. Two of the biggest geeks in history that don’t really mix happily.)

June 18, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

I can’t look at the sunflower cake and NOT think of the creepy opera-singing orange from Sesame Street.

June 18, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMike

#1 is a celebration of the fact smallpox has been erradicated ,ammirite?

June 18, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterhotclaws

The "diamonds" on that first one look like they need to be lanced.

June 18, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterShauna

"Baby Harder"?

June 18, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

If I ordered cake 3, and instead got Wreck 3...

Someone would be wearing it.



June 18, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAishC

That has got to be the worst wedding wreck we've seen in a long time. It's like they weren't even trying!

June 18, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Why is the cow cake shiny? Is it sweating? It's a giraffe? No it's not! It's a cow with shiny poo dots!

June 18, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterpat gann

That pink cake reminds me of a very bad sunburn I got as a teenager (blisters and all.)

June 18, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJules

If that baby cow-giraffe were a stuffie I’d squeeze it to make it all better. It’s adorably pathetically cute.

June 18, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMarnie B

If that baby cow-giraffe were a stuffie I’d squeeze it to make it all better. It’s adorably pathetically cute.

June 18, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMarnie B

Wreck No. 2 isn't THAT bad. In fact, it's kind of cute. Obviously I've been visiting this site for too long.

June 18, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

Lol oh man. I did think the little cow was cute though even if they did try for a giraffe lol. As for that wedding cake please tell me they got their money back.. that's just not nice lol.

June 19, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

I agree that the cow-giraffe needs a hug.

June 19, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterCynthia

Zombie Giraffe... Yikes!

June 19, 2018 | Unregistered Commentermarilyn

I read that ribbon as "Baby Harper", but SaraCVT - your interpretation is way funnier!

June 19, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Why does that pink cake have blisters? Sunburn?

June 20, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

The giraffe missed mark is wrong, but cute. It looks like it could be the star of a book about a cow and giraffe with a kid. The sunflower missed mark made me think of blue and yellow color blindness.

June 21, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterTenko

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