My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

This Made Me Laugh 'Til I Cried

So I was putzin' around on google image search, looking at cakes, of course, when I stumbled across this picture:

Which, you know, made me kind of curious.

So I went to the originating site of the photo and read the corresponding blog post. It's written by Scott of Basic Instructions, which you should definitely check out sometime. Anyway, by the time I finished reading his post I was crying with laughter, and I knew I could not post his cake photo without the whole story attached. I e-mailed him and got his permission, and so without further ado, here it is:

"I had a day job as an office manager for the Seattle office of an international firm. We found out that one of our employees was transferring to one of our offices in China. When one of our people would leave, we usually had a little wing-ding with drinks and cake on the departing employee's last Thursday in the office, so on Tuesday it fell to me to fax a cake order into our nearest Costco Bakery.

I should point out that on that day I had a headache so bad that it hurt to move my eyes. Ordering the cake was the last thing I did before I went home sick for the afternoon. As I filled out the order form, I realized that in addition to the personalized message ("Good Luck in China," in this case) we could also get a large decoration for no extra charge. I looked at the options and none of them were appropriate. They were all things like teddy bears, balloons, or race cars. Crap, in other words. I figured if none of them were appropriate, I might as well get something that made no sense whatsoever.

I put a check mark next to the word "Fireman."

The next morning (Wednesday), lying in bed just before getting up, my mind wandered over the previous day and all the things I had accomplished. My eyes snapped open as I thought, "What did I do!? Why did I order a fireman? That makes no sense!!! I'm going to look like an idiot!"

I went to work, intent on calling the Costco as soon as they opened and stopping the cake before it started. I still had a day before I was supposed to pick it up. I figured that should be plenty of time. After some effort, I got hold of the bakery manager, only to be told that the cake had already been made. It was too late. I figured I'd just have to stand up straight and take it like a man.

My wife and I went to Costco to pick up the cake. When I got to the bakery, this is what was waiting for me.

(see above picture)

Making the hose flesh-toned had been a very bad move.

At first all I could do was blink at it and wonder, "Am I the only one who sees a giant wang?" I looked at my wife. She was blinking at the cake. An awkward silence and a few stammered sentences later we established that we both saw the same thing. A fireman holding an immense, dripping wang.

I could not serve this cake to my coworkers.

My first thought was that I would just absorb the cost of a second cake and pretend this never happened. Then I thought, "Wait a minute! This is not an erotic bakery! This is Costco! I should be able to order any stupid cake I want and be confident that it will not be sexually charged."

While at the checkout line I found a Costco employee to complain to, and showed him the cake. He blinked at it. I told him I was uncomfortable serving this cake at a place of business, and he started laughing and looking relieved.

Here’s what I came to realize about the cake. The obscene image was just obvious enough that you can't help but recognize it, but also obviously innocent enough that you don't want to say anything for fear that you're the only one who sees it.

Soon I was surrounded by several Costco employees who were looking at the cake and laughing. They explained that they had a new cake decorator who was a deeply religious woman from a foreign country, as if that explained everything. At one point while we were hammering out a settlement a woman happened by, caught a glimpse of the cake, covered her mouth and gasped. Good stuff."


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And from my other blog, Epbot:

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Reader Comments (19)

I think the fireman better see a urologist to get that drip fixed.

May 7, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMike

This is my all-time favorite post for Cake Wrecks. When I introduce the blog to someone, THIS is the post I show them...but I read it so I can see their reactions. All these years later, I STILL cannot read it out loud without losing it.

May 7, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterIrene

This is still one of my favorite posts ever!

May 7, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLady Kal

Ten years later, this is still funny!

May 7, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterBeth B

Not only are the cake and story classic, but this post introduced me to a great webcomic! I still read the reruns on GoComics.

May 7, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

an oldie but a goodie!! love the backstory!!

May 7, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterlibby

that doesn't even look like a fireman. I thought it was a girl cartoon character with a big bow on the head.

May 7, 2018 | Unregistered Commentere

This post is one that really ..."stands up" to time!
Just as funny now as it was before.

May 7, 2018 | Unregistered Commentersuzanna

I would never have seen 'a fireman.' I see a Nancy-like little girl with a big red bow in her hair. What would Freud have to say about THAT?

May 7, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterPatricia

This is 10 years old?? I just spit out my coke on my keyboard.. The back story is just the best. Thank you!!

May 7, 2018 | Unregistered Commentersuzie d

OMG, I can't believe I still laugh so hard at this one.

May 7, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterCandice


May 7, 2018 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

This is a classic but is the site going to do this on a regular basis like previous year? I love to see new posts so much!

May 7, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterWildcatMo

What about what's written? Good Luck looks like Good Suck! That & the fireman's hose combine to create a cakewreck classic.

May 7, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

That's a hose?? Lol I can't even imagine what was going on in the wreckerators mind to even make it look that way lmao.

May 8, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

When you're hot, you're HOT.

May 8, 2018 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I thought it looked like a fire hose! It's attached to the hydrant after all, not the firefighter!

May 8, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

I don't know if this post had anything to do with it, but I can no longer find a fireman design among the order options at Costco!

May 8, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterdbc

Oh, this still makes me laugh!

May 8, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

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