My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Baby Gilbert Better Be The Pirate Ship, Is All I'm Saying

Warning: Fondant nipples ahead

(And I love my job.)


I've never had to tell anyone they're pregnant, but I like to think I'd do it with style.

You know, like this:

Wait for it.




See, that's what we call a... PREGNANT PAUSE.

(Bonus points if it's not his birthday.)


Mom-to-be Anne wanted her bakery to really emphasize the "ARE," and boy did they:

Please be a pirate please be a pirate pleasebeapirate.


Which brings me to something's that's not so much a pregnancy announcement as it is an object lesson in the importance of proper comma usage:



And last but most disturbing, I decided to see if we have any "pirate baby" cakes in the ol' CW archives. You know, just to fit the theme.

Guys, my search DID NOT DISAPPOINT:

 One of you did this. ONE OF YOUUUUU.

::high five::


Thanks to Leah R., Anne M., Bradford C., & Brianna E., who should know that John and I did discuss censoring the top, but ultimately decided to Free The Nipple Carrot Jockeys.


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And from my other blog, Epbot:

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Reader Comments (18)

They didn’t spell “aboard” right either.

May 30, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMel

Do these dimbulbs never stop to even consider the meaning of the words "ALL CAPS"??? Just how much of a numb skulled idiot does one have to be to get hired for one of these jobs?

May 30, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterCappy

I can't spell the word that comes do mind about the last cake, but I can sound it out....

May 30, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMedith

WTF?!?!?! Who designs a cake like the last one and thinks that is an acceptable design?!?!?!?! Who???

May 30, 2018 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Maybe the “All Caps” was meant as All pirate capitans!

May 30, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterKat

That last cake is a perfect storm of wrecky-ness. I am in awe.

May 30, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSheriR

It's cakes like the last one that makes me weep for humanity. How is a cake like that appropriate for anything other than the garbage??? I"m desperately trying to find the humor in it, but holy guacamole...I just can't. It's disgusting.

Civilization really is on the decline. That monstrosity proves it.


May 30, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterNutmeg

“Aboard,” not “Abord”

May 30, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterDawn

The last cake needs sprinkles.

May 30, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Is it my imagination, or are those mohawk babies that ride carrots on top of the nipples in the last one?

May 30, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterR.

Umm, guys, the last cake is an intentional wreck, a salute to Cake Wrecks, and a very clever one. The other cakes deserve scorn. I rather like the idea of a pirate ship called the 'Baby Gilbert'. Maybe what they really meant was "Welcome aboard, baby. Gilbert." Punctuation changes everything.

May 30, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMark

I'm rather curious what a "Futire Pirate Hooker" might be. And even Google is confused!

May 30, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

Not that it makes the last cake any less wrecky but "Pirates" is a common name for a rugby team, and a hooker is a playing position in rugby (so it's a bit like saying "a future Raiders quarterback"). Still a gross wreck of a cake, but at leat that might explain some of it.

May 30, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJames

Happy Birthday Daddy. Jen, your comedy is darker than ever before. LOVE it!

May 30, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterBiffster

The last one has SO much wrecky brilliance - naked baby mohawks sitting on nips, the lack of a comma in "Push Erin!" for starters. Love it!

It'd be even funnier if "Push Erin!" is NOT actually pregnant.

May 31, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterjuice

Oh these cakes lol. And that last one I have no words for that one at all my brain saw it and said nope lol.

June 1, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

I don't understand why some readers don't understand the madly clever homage to CW in that last one - it wins the week! Month!

June 1, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSusanD

That last one hadto be deliberate: please tell me there are chocolate sprinkles under the censor face....but if there are, I really don't need to see them. :p

June 1, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterhyphen8

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