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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Adowable Widdle Wrecks

Sometimes I see cakes that are so undeniably Wrecky that I'm almost ashamed of myself for thinking they're cute. I'm not sure how such a thing is possible, either - are they flukes? Slips of the piping bags? The inevitable result of a million Wreckerators working on a million cupcakes? The world may never know. Or care.

Who's a cute widdle turd!?

Sure, it may look like a pile of poo on the banks of the Jungle Cruise*, but it's actually supposed to be a cat. Or maybe a lion. With a monkey tail. Regardless, see how the decorator compels us to overlook its blatant turdiness with his/her skillful application of eyes?

* Explanation for Non-Disney Geeks - See, the water on the Jungle Cruise ride at Disney is often dyed a shocking shade of blue-green. I think you have to be decontaminated if you fall in.**

**Follow-up from Jen: Puh-lease, "decontaminated"? It's just a little tetanus shot.


This next one makes use of the "two-cupcakes-drowning-in-icing-on-an-oversized-cakeboard" approach:

See? It's a cow. Or maybe ground beef. ("What do you call a cow with no legs, Alex?") Or Beef Stroganoff. ("A cow with noodles for legs?")

How can I tell it's a cow, and not a spotted dog with an awesome bouffant 'do sitting on a robot*? By reading the "moo" in the barren desert of cake board, that's how. [tapping temple] Skills. I gots 'em.

*Picture the nostrils as eyes for a minute - you'll see it. (Note: alcohol helps.)


Here's another one, fortified with rich, healthy irony:

An embarrassed skunk letting out a little toot, or a Wreckerator letting out a little workplace aggression? More importantly: which makes you hungrier?


Next is a real fluke; it's both the Wreckiest and the cutest cake for today:

A Wreckerator sets out to make a frog and ends up with a sloppy cross-eyed face with jowls, and yet it's still adorable? Now that's luck. (Dig the candle horns.)


And finally we have what appears to be a cross between a mutant rubber ducky and Angelina Jolie:

Sorry, sorry; I know that's kind of mean. I shouldn't malign rubber duckies like that.


Thanks to Wreckporters Tim, Megan, Kristi M., Leigh S., and Linden S.!


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And from my other blog, Epbot:

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Reader Comments (9)

1) i wonder if the customer just had the baker put this cake on his tabby. Maybe they should give that "cat" a phone so he can make a Persian to Persian call. Alley oop! Do you think the baker is lion about his baking skills? If I were him, I wouldn't take pride in this thing. Heck, maybe this thing is the missing lynx.
2) That's a cow? You're not trying to steer us wrong, are you? Maybe you're just feeding us a line of bull. Maybe this cow is lovesick, it's in the mooed for love. But I wouldn't beef about it. But I do think this wreck is udderly bad.
3) What a cute little stinker. He says the smell isn't his. It was the odor guy. Perhaps he's a bit ob-noxious, though. Maybe the baker who made this is really a reekerator. Where does this rank among all time bad wrecks?
4) If we asked Jen whether this was truly a frog or not, would she say, "Nah, I amphibian about it." Frankly, I'm not sure it ever was a frog, but I don't want to be the one who says, "I toad you so." Wart I wouldn't give for a cake that really looks like a frog.
5) Isn't that just ducky? If I was the customer, I'd cry "fowl!" He looks so awful, maybe he has a mallardy. I just don't think this baker's skills are all they're quacked up to be.

April 3, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMike

An embarrassed skunk letting out a little toot -- this made me snort at my desk! Good thing I wasn't taking a sip of water because I definitely would have spit it all over my laptop.

April 3, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

Me too, Jen, me too...

April 3, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterThe Duck

I never would have seen a dog sitting on a robot without you. I thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

April 3, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Hire Mike. :D He's a kindred spirit.

I toadily loved this post.
The "What do you call a cow with noodles for legs?"

... Priceless

April 3, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJan

Uh, that's not the joke about bovines that I know that has "beef stroganoff" as the punch line. But this is a polite place, so I'm not going to repeat it. Suffice it to say it's not a joke one could tell at work. Or church. Or the local Kiwanis Club. And the last one - I thought it said "chanticleer," as in a male chicken, but I see now it says "character." I think. In either case, it's a fowl wreck.

April 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

All of these have me laughing so hard my husband is probably thinking I am dying. So funny :D

April 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

In 1981 my brother and I took a little road trip to central Florida that included a day at Walt Disney World. It was an interesting year for a visit: because EPCOT was not yet open, there was no reason to say "The Magic Kingdom", since that's all there was, and the whole park could be seen in a day.

It was also the year the park transitioned from the ticket system to a single price model. Well-meaning relatives had loaded us up with leftover booklets full of A and B tickets with nary a D or E to be found, but we discovered on arrival that we could buy cards for fifteen bucks each that we could hang from our belts and would allow us unlimited rides as an alternative to buying more booklets just to get E tickets.

Our ride on the jungle boat was a highlight and provided me with a joke I added to my repertoire and continue to repeat to this day: after pointing out an animatronic elephant under a waterfall, our guide said,

"There's something you don't see every day. But I do."

April 5, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Be careful, "Jungle Cruise Blue" just might be a thousand or so of those colored toilet sanitizer cakes you hang from the rim. o.O

April 10, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterBobbi

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