My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Flotsam Plops

The concept is simple: take an otherwise passable cake, and then stick a completely unrelated piece (or pieces) of plastic flotsam on it. Voila! Flotsam plop.

Oh, and when I say "completely unrelated," I mean "completely unrelated."

And lo, unto us a carrot cake is borne.
And high, we suspecteth the Wreckerator was. Eth.

Look, this carrot cake was doing just fine without divine accompaniment - so why the plastic angel pick? Did the Wreckerator think that was actually helping, or was s/he meeting some flotsam distribution quota?


Care to pick a pack of plops?

The migrating guitar herd strikes again.


Here's how you pander to fanboys and fangirls everywhere:

No, no, it's not a blue dog - it's a BAT dog. Sha-pow!


Plus, that upside-down bat logo tells us he sticks to the ceiling!

Bringing "downward facing dog" to new heights.


Perhaps you don't think these examples have been ridiculous enough, though. Nooo problem. What would you say to Dora the Explorer's head stuck in another doll cake's lap?

Go ahead. Try and imagine that's just the world's largest, creepiest belt buckle.

Personally, I'd say "Hola, Dora! S-O-C-K-S!" Because that's all the Spanish I know. I never learned what it means, though, so here's hoping it's not something dirty. (Although, frankly, that might be appropriate here.)

I have some thoughts about the snowman in the gal's lap behind Dora, too, but for all our sakes I'll leave that to you guys in the comments.


So, just how bad is the flotsam plop epidemic getting?

This bad:

Because even cake sold by-the-slice needs accessorizing.
And Superman beats everybody at bowling.


Katrina S., Lisa K., Dawn, Frzn D., & Jane D., "flotsam plops" is officially my new favorite phrase. Flotsamplopsflotsamplopsflotsamplops. Heehee!


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Reader Comments (18)

HAHAHA! Trying to follow the thought process of these bakers is not possible. It's like trying to figure out the 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon from a Jerry Mouse cake girl.

This has to be one of my all time favorite sites. I visit it as daily as possible and catch up on any days I miss. I wonder how many years I have been enjoying this site. The best part is the humor that goes into the descriptions and writings. love it!

April 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterL

1) This angel should let sleeping carrots lie. I mean, it's probably dreaming of being in its garden bed.
2) Migrating guitars, eh? I guess they're all in one a-chord. I hope Stephen doesn't fret about it being his 50th birthday. Maybe they're just stringing him along. Let's just hope if the cake was delivered, the driver doesn't get into a Fender bender.
3) I can just hear this dog now - "Oh, dear, what can I do? Batman's in black, and I'm feeling blue."
4) He sticks to the ceiling, huh? This reminds me of the Three Stooges episode where the gal tells Moe he looks like the sword of Damocles is hanging over his head.
5) Dora went exploring where she shouldn't and came across a tribe of Amazon headhunters.
6) You know what this is? It's an advertisement for the...wait for it... SUPER BOWL! (Ah, c'mon. It was just waiting to be used).

April 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMike

Talk about random...

April 26, 2018 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Having worked in a "company" bakery for many years, I think I can explain the Angel carrot cake. See, the very next day after one holiday is over, you have to start decorating for the next one, no matter how far off it is. A normal, intelligent person understands that people don't start buying Valentine's Day cakes the first week of January, but we're talking about the Corporate Idiots who don't live in reality. So instead of spending a month or more throwing out holiday cakes that didn't sell, we'd just kind of comply with color schemes that matched. Then, when we got word that corporate was coming in for a visit, we'd toss some plastic flotsam on regular cakes so they could be satisfied that we were decorating for the holiday. It's November 29th and corporate will be here this afternoon? Toss an angel on that carrot cake and boom it's a Christmas cake and I don't get my butt chewed.

April 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterElaine

Sadly, "eso si que es" (s-o-c-k-s) is not dirty at all, and just means "Yes, that's it."

April 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterBorg

So is the first one saying carrot cake is now angel food?

April 26, 2018 | Unregistered Commenter3Davideo


Bill Clinton's cat.

It is what it is.

Eso si que es.

April 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterR3test

Flotsam pops has a nice ring, but doesn't easily roll off the tongue.Bet the cakes would, though. Right into the garbage can. Or the toilet. Not really. Those are better than many we've seen.
Wondering if the Dora is related to Elvis.....what with the buckle the size of Kansas....

April 26, 2018 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Batman flies, blue dog sighs, stuck up there on high....
Robin's nowhere in the scene, or has a little class.
Aaaand...all I'll say about the Dora in the case is.....she needed cooling down....that head isn't what I'd call , "a little"....

April 26, 2018 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Give the angel a break! She's just calling for the Naked Mohawk-Baby Carrot Jockeys to get on board. It's race time!

April 26, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterpat gann

"Flotsam quota" is it, fer sher. You can bet they charge more for it, too.

April 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterChas

These bakers are just trying to be environmentally friendly by not throwing out perfectly usable pieces of plastic, but instead slapping them onto baked goods. Wreckerators celebrate Earth Day all year long!

April 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMSTeacher3K

Well now I have seen it all. Even slices of cake need flotsam to complete the wreckage lol. I have yet to see that at my local bakeries but give em time lol.

April 27, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

About those doll cakes -- I'll venture an explanation that you were too ladylike to do (cause I aint no lady). The snowman in the doll's lap says that she is frigid. The Dora in the other doll's lap says "explore here".

April 27, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterCali Kath

Give yourself more credit, Jen. I guarantee you know the meaning of "Por favor, mantengense alejado de las puertas."

April 27, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMirthMistress

Elaine, that is brilliant. We all know about idiots from Corporate. Any holiday-related flotsam is hereby forgiven.
Now, how about Dora?

April 28, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

haha no, I have no insight on any of the others.

April 29, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterElaine

I collect cake flotsam, so I wouldn't complain. The most I get, the better. Still wondering about Dora's head on the doll, though...

May 20, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLeina

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